Interview with a 5-year-old

I’m having a little trouble wrapping my head around Gem turning five. She’s clearly 5. She acts like a 5 year old. She thinks like a 5 year old. I’m just having a little trouble keeping up.

I thought an interview might be a good way to try to catch up

Favorite color: Red and pink
Favorite animal: cheeta
What do you want to do when you grow up: police officer
What is your favorite thing to do: play cooking
What is your favorite book: My Little Pony Equestria Girls
What is your happiest memory: going to the beach
Why do you like being a kid: because I can play more
If you could be any animal, what would you be: a mermaid
What’s your favorite thing to do with Mommy and Daddy: snuggle
Where is your favorite place to go: to the doughnut shop
What is your favorite TV show: My Little Pony
What is your favorite food: pears
What was your favorite birthday present: kitchen and cook book
What is something you don’t like to do: wait
What do you think Daddy does at work: work on his computer
And what does Mommy do: work on her computer, too, and takes care of me
What is something that you’re really good at: running fast
What is something that you want to get better at: going in the water and being safe from the sharks
What is something that you want to learn: how to make a paper boat
Who is your favorite person in the whole world: Bella
What is your favorite thing to wear: dresses
What is your favorite kind of weather: rainy
Why: because I can stomp in puddles with my boots
If we went on a trip anywhere in the world, where would you like to go: to school
What would you buy if you had $1000: cherries
What is your favorite kind of ice cream: strawberry
What are you looking forward to next year: going to Kindergarten

we’ve had a big year

a look back at 4 even more of 4 more of 4

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Little Library

The fact that this exists at all fills my heart with joy.

That we found this on the sidewalk in our new neighborhood… well that’s just too cool.

Check out the little free library.

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what’s awesome in your world?

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A beautiful day in the neighborhood

The day started out with a plan, and it was all Gem’s idea. We were going to go on a walking tour of all the beautiful flowers in our new neighborhood. And, I would bring my camera, so we could take pictures and use them for a blog post.

My little unpaid intern is really starting to pay off.

We got off to a good start.

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But, after a while we came across this:

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And inside, they had this:

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They also had books.

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The walls were lined with old classics

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and my little girl was entranced

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We spent hours in the doughnut shop, and I got to share with her some of my childhood favorites.

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The garden tour / photo walk can wait for another day.

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what captured your attention this week?

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Cancerversary

One month ago today, we moved into our new home.

Friday, I registered my baby for Kindergarten.

Two days ago was my dear friend Dee’s birthday – a woman who lives thousands of miles away, yet somehow still finds a way to be here for me at those moments when it’s most important.

Yesterday was Candice‘s birthday, the first birthday she didn’t live to see, and I’m still angry that she’s gone.

In twelve days my little girl turns five.

On April Fools Day, it will be the first anniversary of Michele‘s death; that still feels like the cruelest of cosmic jokes.

In two months, if I manage to get my act together and pass these classes, I will finally graduate with my bachelor’s degree. It took 25 years from the start of the degree, and I stuck with it through several levels of hell, and no small measure of high water. But I’m right here at the end of that road, dammit, and I’m going to finish it.

And today?

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Today is my fourth cancerversary. It is the fourth anniversary of the day my world was turned upside-down. It was the first time I really had to grapple with my mortality, with the knowledge that I can’t control how much time I have left. I had to accept the fact that despite my infinite love for my daughter, I could not promise her that I would always be here for her. I had to imagine the possibility of her growing up without a mother.

It took a while for me to let go of the idea of getting back to normal – that doesn’t happen after cancer. Instead, I’m learning to dream new dreams, and take what happened to me and try to make the best of it. I could sit here and mope through the day, feeling sorry for myself, but I haven’t spent any of my cancerversaries that way yet. In fact, last year something magical happened.

Tonight, I will be meeting with other leaders of the local Young Survival Coalition to plan out ways we can help other young women with breast cancer through the year ahead.

Life keeps coming at me from a thousand different directions. It’s a maelstrom of joy and fear, comfort and pain, fun and hard work. It’s exhausting and overwhelming, and often moves me to tears. Maybe that’s how I know I’m really living.