3-year-olds say the darnedest things. For instance, my 3-year-old said:
“Dammit.” When I turned to look at her, she responded in her most matter-of-fact voice, “I say that now.“
Gem, January 2012
She said a lot this past year, most of which I have already forgotten. There were a few zingers that stood out for me, like
“I’m beautiful and frustrated.“
and
“NO! I not contrary!“
When I had a case of the blahs, she said “Mommy, you can dance if you want to.”
When I told her, “I love you more than pork chops,” she corrected me, saying “No, Mommy. You love me more than chocolate.” And she was right.
I asked her why her crayons were all over the place. She replied, “I was using them as fairy dust.”
One day, she informed me that “Hide and seek is my favorite, favorite game. Can we play hide and seek?“ “Sure,” I replied. So she walked over to the keyboard and started playing it. “What are you doing?” I asked. “We need some hiding music.“ And then, I’m pretty sure I heard her say “Duh!” under her breath.
After the 647,251,986th time of being asked for stickers, I said, “I’m all out of stickers. Stop asking me for stickers.” “Mommy, I need something that’s a little bit sticky on the back and has a picture on the front.“
When we were shopping for Christmas gifts at the mall, she named off the type of store as we walked past each one… “shoe store, jewelry store, hat store…” then, as we walked past Victoria’s Secret, she said “balloon store…“
and then one night as I was tucking her in, my sweet little girl said “When you’re done giving me hugs and kisses, I’m going to need more hugs and kisses.”
I dove into the Winter/Spring semester as a full time student.
I went to New Orleans to attend the Conference for Young Women affected by breast cancer. It was so powerful to be in a place with nearly 1000 other young women living with breast cancer.
It’s not where you’re going, or the conditions along the way; I learned that what really makes a difference is your traveling companions.
I was one of 5 authors reading our work about living with breast cancer at Courage Night.
I was challenged to chronicle just one hour of my life for a blog post, and the results were magical.
I realized that I am still re-learning how to dream after cancer. “I’ve reached the point where I understand what I have been intuitively trying to do, yet simultaneously resisting – to improve the flexibility and range of my imagination, of my ability to re-dream my future.”
Two years after chemo, I finally got my hair back into a ponytail.
Every year, I run away with my girls from the Young Survival Coalition (young women with breast cancer) for a retreat at the Harmony Hill Retreat Center. It’s a slumber party for grownups, but even more important, for a moment, we’re in a place and group where life with cancer is normal, and everyone understands what we’re going through.
I wrote a piece for Survivorship Partners on Cancer and Guilt, when I noticed how much judgement there is around a cancer diagnosis. Nobody deserves cancer, not even me.
I traveled to Indianapolis to attend the Affiliate Summit for the Young Survival Coalition, and to participate in the process of changing much of the structure of that organization. The experience left me with a powerful lesson in change management.
My husband went to Istanbul to present his research at the International Society for Iranian Studies Conference. While he was there, he had a significant health crisis. I didn’t blog about that part, but it was more terrifying to me than my own cancer diagnosis. He’s healthy now, however, and he did manage to get a few great photographs of Istanbul while he was there.
We attended the cutest birthday party ever. Our cousin’s daughter’s 3rd birthday party had a dinosaur ballerina theme. Perfect, as Gem is into dinosaurs and ballerinas, as well. You really can’t go wrong with homemade dinosaur tails and tutus for each of the kids.
My husband and I celebrated our eighth wedding anniversary, and I reminded the universe that the sickness and poorer parts of our vows were not an invitation. I also challenged to universe to remember that there was a richer and health part in there as well.
In Taking Back October, I mourned the loss of one of my favorite months, October, to the Breast Cancer Awareness money making machine, and I discussed the difference between working towards awareness for the most well known cancer, and working towards a cure.
Plans for my second mastectomy and reconstruction surgery started in earnest. My surgery is scheduled for 2/4/13. Mom will be flying down from Alaska to take care of my little one.
The spirit of Christmas is strong with my child. She was so concerned that there was no present for Grandma under the tree, that she set about to rectify the situation. It’s worth noting that Grandma lives in Alaska, and there were no plans for her to visit us for Christmas, my little girl just wanted to make sure Grandma was represented in our Christmas.
First she needed a present, so she got one of my shoes.
ONE shoe.
She spent a great deal of time wrapping that shoe. Maybe even half an hour.
Daddy had to intervene to keep her from using up an entire roll of tape. But she did get to use a few pieces.
Then she made a label, so everyone would know who the present was to, and who it was from.
She got some help with spelling, but wrote the entire label herself.
And then proudly placed the label on the package, and put the package under the tree.
Her approach to Christmas was not exclusively altruistic, she also wrote a letter to Santa with a list of items that she wanted.
Transcription:
Dear Santa I like you Please bring me train bicycle mermaid doll train tracks rock bow (for her hair) toy grouch
I hope your day was also full of love, joy, and magic.
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