Just because you look ok on the outside- it doesn’t mean you are ok on the inside. Cancer is not like strep. You are not better in 5 days. It can take awhile (even years) until you are ok.
I have been on both sides of the fence… having cancer and watching a person I love go through it. At times I do not know which is worse. Be as open and honest as possible. Try and laugh about it some of the quirky side effects etc. Laughter is amazing medicine and lets your partner know that it’s okay to laugh
Cancer is a medical diagnosis, not an identity. It colors who you are just as any major experience would, be it pregnancy, pets, kids, diabetes, etc. However, it does not define you or your future.
For loved ones, give offers of help, but be specific. Patients don’t have the capacity to figure out what would be helpful most of the time. If you plan to do something in honor of the person, ask first if they are comfortable with that. I had a family member walk in my honor twice and make a big deal about it and want me there. I felt like a prize pig on display and it felt awful.