cardboard,
tape, knife
sharpie;
colorful life
packed
in brown boxes
Not that I didn’t have enough going on what with the pregnancy and sinus issues and papers due at school, but I just thought I’d let you know that we’re moving this weekend.
Yay! Really, it is a good move, I just don’t want to do all that work.
Just so ya know, I may not be posting much for a while. I’ve got my hands full.
I ran away to the mall a couple days ago. Everything was coming at me from every direction and I was in need of some retail therapy. Problem is, I have neither time nor money at the moment. Then I somehow silenced the nagging “you don’t have time for this…” long enough to find myself at a part of the mall populated by baby stores.
I’ve been trying very hard to avoid spending my money on baby stuff. I know the time will come when I have no choice, but now is not the time. We’re moving and we’re broke. If I’m going to spend any money I need to spend it on things we really need, like a stroller or diapers or one of those blue bulb thingies you shove up the baby’s nose to get the snot out.
This is not the kind of thing I need to be spending my money on:
I don’t believe I’ve mentioned this before, but I collect teapots – but a $79 teapot lamp… It took my breath away. I stopped to take a picture of it in the store and I don’t do that. I just sat there and looked at it for quite a while. It’s so impractical. But I love it.
Finally I tore myself away and poked around a little longer until I found the one thing that there was no way I would be able to leave the store without.
A stuffed teapot. On sale. $5.
I foresee a future full of tea parties.
A part of me is so jealous of my friends who have flown, driven, biked, ran, crawled, whatever it took to get to Washington D.C. But then I think about how cold it is there, and I’ll be here in my jammies, eating breakfast, snuggled in a giant comforter, and able to run to my bathroom anytime I like without waiting in line. Inauguration day will be just as important whether I’m here or there.
My grandma, Doris McKinley, was with me four years ago at my wedding. Sunday is Grandma’s birthday, she will be 98 years old.
Happy Birthday, Grandma!
Dear Baby Girl,
In exactly three months you are scheduled to make your grand entrance into this world, although the actual timing of that event is more up to you than any doctor’s calculations. I’m scared and excited all at the same time. I can’t wait to meet you, to hold you, to see you snuggled in your father’s arms.
Last night we went to our first childbirth class and watched a video of a woman going through labor and giving birth. I cried. I don’t think that was the intent of the movie, but it moved me. Somebody once said that parenting is deciding to allow your heart to walk around outside of your body. That’s probably the closest to how I felt watching that movie. Like it would be my heart, right there in my arms; tangible and real and fragile.
There is so much that I hope for you. I hope you will learn to think for yourself rather than just parroting the views and opinions others. I hope you will understand and value the difference between fact and opinion. I hope you will learn to process information and to see through the hype and sensationalism that is so prevalent in our world. I hope you will understand the love trumps hate, no matter what, even if the haters claim to be representing God. I hope you will learn that you are responsible for your own happiness and that you can’t just sit around feeling sorry for yourself and waiting for happiness to land on your doorstep. You have to get out there. You have to make friends and go to them rather than waiting for them to magically materialize. I hope you realize that feeling sorry for yourself only makes you feel more sorry for yourself. I hope you learn to value people for their differences rather than trying to change them to be more like you. I hope you learn to value yourself, and at a much younger age than I did. I’m still learning that lesson. I hope you learn the difference between having an understanding of where you stand with others, and worrying about what they think of you. Don’t worry about what they think of you.
Be who you are and say what you feel, because those who mind don’t matter and those that matter don’t mind.
That quote came from Dr. Seuss, an author with whom you will become very familiar. It’s a short quote with a very big idea. One that I still have trouble dealing with because the truth is, sometimes the people that matter do mind. Sometimes the people who mind are are people you love, and it hurts when they love you for who they want you to be instead of loving you for who you are. I’m going to make a promise right now. I’m going to love you for who you are, whoever that turns out to be.
Love,
Mama
Read more Letters to Gem.
