Updating Blog Template

Updating Blog Template

You may have noticed that I went through about 30 variations on blogger templates today. I’m still not satisfied with the results, but then I’m still learning, too. I suppose I would be a little more adept at this if I’d just break down and take a class or two on web design, but I much prefer banging my head against the wall. There’s something about finding a solution after trying 48 other possible variations that is so much more satisfying than just knowing what will work in the first place.

Writing Down the Bones by Natalie Goldberg

Writing Down the Bones by Natalie Goldberg

I read Natalie Goldberg’s Writing Down the Bones the first time in 1990. I was twenty and had just decided that I want to be a writer when I grow up. I had never imagined such a book: a writer writing about writing. It’s a simple concept, I know. But it blew my mind. I devoured every word and then went back and read it again. I was so full of hope and ambition and passion. I went out and bought myself a big beautifully bound journal in which I would practice my craft.

I went to a bustling cafe, sat down with my big steaming cuppajoe, got out my new pen and stared at the blank page while I waited for a jewel of inspiration. Nothing. Nothing in my head was worthy of that fancy journal. Crap. Drivel. Cliche. Not a single thought that tickled my brain or twitched the nib of my pen was good enough to commit to paper. How the hell do writers do this? Everyday?

Damn.

I missed the basic premise of the book: just do it. Don’t wait for it to be perfect, don’t repaint your walls to create the perfect writing room, don’t wait for the soundbites that everyone will still be quoting 50 years after you’re gone. Just write. You find the good stuff in editing.

Eighteen years later I reintroduced myself to an old passion that never died; the dream of making a living as a writer. It’s different this time. I write every day. Most of what write is crap, and that’s a beautiful thing. I celebrate the shit. I write in spiral bound notebooks that pile up and clutter our apartment. I write, I doodle, I daydream, I do timed writes, I write even when my head is completely empty. I write when I don’t know what to write. Sometimes I just write “I don’t know what to write” over and over until my pen writes something else. It’s not glamorous, it’s not inspirational, it’s not perfect. It’s just writing down the bones.

I re-read Writing Down the Bones and this time I got it. You have to be willing to be not perfect. I still have times when I find it critically important that I reorganize my files, or transcribe an entire spiral bound notebook into my computer, but on closer inspection that usually means I’m procrastinating and I’m afraid I might write crap. So then I sit down and write crap anyways.

Time Management

Time Management

My dad had a theory, he called it the “Schwartz theory of gaseous expansion,” which stated the material in a room will always expand to fill the available space. No matter how big your room is, it will eventually feel cramped because there’s too much stuff in it.

I was thinking about that theory and how it could also be applied to time as I was out and about running errands with Mom. Now that I don’t have a regular 9-5 job, I theoretically have more available time. I’ve been in this position before and I remember noting the same occurrence – when you have more free time, your chores expand to fill your available time. It took ALL DAY yesterday to get the phone, cable and internet set up for mom.

There is no such thing as free time.