When I stepped off the elevator into the Allrecipes offices, it opened up into a stunning kitchen and dining area. Food is the focal point of everything they do, and the kitchen is where that magic happens.
The stunning view from the kitchen looked out over Westlake Park, and across to the Macy’s building.
I had no idea that Allrecipes was in Seattle, a start-up born 17 years ago from a few University of Washington students bouncing around ideas for using this new internet thingy in conjunction with database technologies. I think they hit on a winner.
17 years is ancient in terms of social media, and they brought out their experts to give us some pointers
Social Media
Don’t simultaneously post the same update on all the social media outlets.
Facebook and Twitter and Instagram are used differently by media consumers, take that into consideration when posting.
Schedule posts in advance so they go out throughout the day, rather than bombarding readers with multiple posts hitting their feeds all at the same time
Kale and quinoa, and other healthy foods are hot right, but if you want a boost, cheesy casseroles are always good for a bump in shares.
Everyone loves grandma’s cheesy casseroles. People love grandmas. Grandmas are hot right now.
Food Photography
spritz food with water or olive oil to freshen it up during the photo shoot.
a sprinkle of salt or large grain sugar adds sparkle
if you are working with whipped cream, adding a little cornstarch during whipping will help it hold up better during the photography session
Of course, they fed us at the Allrecipes event: salad on a stick. That turned out to be quite the cute entertaining idea – the buffet line include kebab sticks with easily pierce-able foods such as ravioli, mozzarella pearls and cherry tomatoes. My favorite combo was watermelon, feta, and mint.
True to form, combining a bunch of bloggers with a food oriented event meant getting through the line took a minute as we all snapped away as we loaded our plates. Luckily I snapped a couple shots before loading my plate because I quickly realized that I am not graceful enough to juggle photography with a plate full of food.
Dessert was on a stick as well: strawberry shortcake on a stick. This was doughnut holes and strawberries. Chocolate sauce and whipped cream were provided for embellishing the treat.
This was such a great event, and I want to thank Allrecipes and Seattle Bloggers Unite for putting this event together. I look forward to delving into all that Allrecipes has to offer, and you can expect more recipes to be highlighted on this blog in the future.
My best friend, Dee, was helping me lace up the bodice of my wedding gown when we heard the sounds coming from another bathroom on the other side of the house. Dee looked confused, but I just smiled. I knew that sound. I knew that voice. That was my soon-to-be husband, singing his heart out in the shower just an hour before our wedding.
I took so much comfort in hearing him sing like that. Here he was getting ready for this monumental step and his heart was full of joy.
Ten years later, it still fills my heart with comfort and joy to hear him sing in the shower – and it takes me right back to our wedding day.
We packed a lot into these ten years: 3 degrees, 5 apartments, a bout with cancer, and longer period of healing from that battle, 14 emergency room visits, too many hospital overnights to count, and the most amazing little girl.
Today was our 10th wedding anniversary, and it was like a snapshot of the entirety of our marriage: It was a crazy day that included me being sick, taking Gem to school, picking her up from school, going back to the school for a conference with her teacher, going out to eat to celebrate our family, and stopping by the party at her school on our way back home. A busy, and at times overwhelming day full of ups and downs, love, illness, school, celebrations, learning, communicating, and just being happy being together.
When I was diagnosed with breast cancer in 2010, one of the first things I did was head straight to the book store. I was looking for a book that would tell me how to juggle cancer and parenting my infant daughter. I didn’t find anything that provided helpful information or practical steps I could take to help ensure that my daughter still gets a vibrant childhood even when I have trouble getting out of bed.
As a writer, one recurring piece advice I keep hearing is write the book you want to read. While not a book, this blog series on cancer and parenting is a step in that direction.
If you found this site because you are in that unenviable position of having both cancer and young children, let me just say that the road ahead of you is difficult, but it is also full of love and joy. The thing I needed to hear most at this point in my journey was that my child can have a wonderful childhood and grow into a compassionate and strong adult despite my cancer. Your child can too.
This page is a work in progress; as each interview and story is posted, this page will be updated with the new post. I’ve got one post per week lined up for several months. Check back often to read more stories.
Did you have cancer while raising your children? Did you have children, or adopt, after your cancer treatment?
Sharing your story can be cathartic, it can also help other parents who are newly diagnosed, and scared, and overwhelmed.
The survey is long, but it provides significant leeway to share your story the way you want it told.
The complexities of raising strong, happy, well-adjusted children while going through cancer treatment is a bit mind-boggling, but it can be done. I remember meeting the amazing kids of some of my fellow cancer survivors, and breathing a huge sigh of relief. Once I could see that my cancer did not have to ruin my daughter’s childhood, I was able to relax a bit.
While I was in school, I started a project of surveying parents with cancer, the ups and downs, and what worked for us, with the goal of publishing the results to help others who are juggling these monumental responsibilities. This is the first interview of that series. This is Linneas’s story.
Age at diagnosis: 33
Diagnosis Date: 9/6/2002
Type of Cancer: Breast cancer – DCIS Stage I “with micro invasions”
Stage at Diagnosis: Stage 1
Treatment Plan: Bilateral Modified Radical Mastectomy with Sentinal Node
Biopsy (13 nodes taken- left side); six months Methotrexate and 5FU chemo;
Complete reconstruction with implants; 5 years Tamoxifen; 1 year Arimedex;
Ovaries removed
Current Status: NED
How did you tell your kids about the cancer diagnosis?
I explained to Gunnar that I had mutant genes attacking my boobies and to fight back I was going to have to have surgery. He was assured that I had the best doctors and an awesome team on my side.
How did your kids respond?
He asked what kind of powers I was going to get. We are huge sci-fi and comic book fans and…well… everyone knows the Xmen got their powers because they are mutants.
After seeing my mastectomy without the bandages he stated, “you should tell people you did that skateboarding.”
What are some things you did that worked really well for your family with regards to dealing with the cancer, and treatment, while raising children?
I was honest with him. I showed him my bandages, my scars and did not pretend that nothing was wrong. I empowered him by making him my “helper guy.” He’d help get my Kleenex box, glass of water- small things that let him help me get better. We shared this experience and the triumph.
Is there anything you wish you’d done differently?
No – I feel like he deserved the truth. He was put into foster care when he was thirteen months old- and was in five home until he was three and a half. When his birth parents decided they didn’t want to raise him after all, my husband and I made him a part of our family. Too many people lied to him, deserted him and gave up on him. I felt explaining a little bit at a time to him and having a part of my healing helped both of us. I told him I was doing everything I could to make sure I would be able to see him graduate, become a fire fighter and dance at his wedding.
How did the impact of cancer change as time passed and your children grew? Did it change?
Gunnar is a huge breast cancer advocate. In second grade he found his teachers mammogram lab referral on the ground (the one with the outline drawings of breasts). He handed it too her and said “this looks important because it has your boobs on it. Are going to be a survivor like my mom?”
The entire household had to get used to my new normal. I can’t lift or carry heavy things like I used to and I tend to tire easily. But life goes on. My son attends every pink relay, race and rally he can telling everyone to “play with your boobs- it might save your life- it saved my moms.” We recently lost our dog to bone cancer. This has now spurred him to advocate canine cancer as well.
Do you have concerns about the long term impact of your cancer on your children?
I think he is worried I may have a re-occurrence and “go away” like so many others did in his early life.
What advice would you give to other moms who are diagnosed with cancer?
Tell the teachers what’s going on. Behaviors at school escalated because he didn’t want to act up at home and upset me. Art therapy is awesome- it lets the kids express themselves and work out things that are confusing to them.
What concerns or fears troubled you the most?
That I would die and not get to show him the world, cool things to do and see, talk to him about life, see him become a firefighter or dance at his wedding. I felt like I was living on borrowed time.
How did you deal with those fears?
We live each day to the fullest. Family vacations, various art projects, parties… we do it all. I helped him get through the state paperwork to work at the fire station down the road from our home. We DO things together.
Have those fears and concerns changed over time?
I’m not afraid of dying as much as I was before.
What was your darkest moment?
Deciding to have my breasts removed.
What was your best moment?
Having my oncologist say that I have a very little chance of re-occurrence since I went so radical with my surgical and chemical decisions, and I have been NED for ten years.
Did you decide to add more children to your family after your diagnosis? How did cancer figure into your decision?
When we adopted Gunnar it was decided “there could be only one.” He needed all our attention because he didn’t have any in the first three years of his life.
Adopted children grow in your heart and not your belly. I would take a bullet for that boy. He is my son and it does not matter that I didn’t “make” him.
What did you do to take care of you? How did you splurge on yourself?
Massage, pedi/mani, vacations.
Were you able to get help from friends and family members while you were going through treatment?
I was fortunate enough to have an awesome support group of friends and family. My husband and son were my anchors and kept me grounded and feeling secure.
Was it difficult to ask for help? Do you have any suggestions around the topic of asking for help?
I hated asking for help. I still feel weird asking for help with my groceries since I don’t look sick now- “what’s her problem- why can’t she lift her groceries in the car?!”
Accept your limitations and find your strengths. I will never be able to lift 10 pounds…. but I am a whiz on the sewing machine. Offer to help people with things that you can do so when it comes time for you to ask for help- they are more willing to jump in and help. Yes I will help you organize that surprise party for your wife…. but in the Spring I will need help digging up the garden area.
Did you have an online resource that helped you through this experience?
Did cancer/treatment impact your relationship with your spouse/partner?
My sex drive is gone. It takes a whole lot of time and wine to get in the mood. Thankfully my husband is understanding and very very patient.
Do you have any relationship advice for young moms dealing with cancer?
Talk, talk, talk…. tell your spouse how you feel and what is going on.
What is something you wish your friends and family members understood about your cancer and its impact on your life? What would you tell the friends and family members of other mom’s diagnosed with cancer? What would you want them to know about what she’s about to go through, and how best they can support her?
It doesn’t just go away after five years. The fear, the limitations and the reconstructed boobs that are not as perfect as the original parts are all part of our new normal.
Sometimes when we have a friend going through something gnarly like battling cancer we feel helpless. Prayers and happy thoughts are nice, but believe me, when I was going through chemo I wanted nothing more than someone to come over and help me clean house, make a casserole, take me out for smoothies, give me a massage or just paint my toe nails. She doesn’t need flowers- offer to clean her bathroom or drive her to the pharmacy- now is the time for her to call in all those favors when folks said “hey if you ever need me, let me know”
Were there any cancer-related activities or events in which you participated that you think were especially helpful to you or members of your family?
What are some solutions you found to practical problems of combining cancer treatment with raising young children?
The little mister had a tendency of pulling on my arm when he was holding my hand while shopping etc. and this just sent shooting pains across my mastectomy chest. Instead of holding my hand I had him hold onto my belt loops.
I made him a cape to wear as my helper guy. All big boys who are good helper guys wear capes. Big boys can also get into their own car seats (“betcha’ can’t get up there all by yourself…wow…look at that… you did it…what a super big guy you are”) “Wow you can carry that gallon of milk to the house all the way from the car?”
I made him a “brave blanket” to sleep with “just in case” he ever got scared. It acts as a cloak of invisibility- scary things can’t get you if you are under it. I told him it’s ok to be scared but that we were going to be ok.
Any additional advice or comments about dealing with cancer while raising children?
If you were a mom before you were diagnosed, you will be a mom after. Cancer cannot take that away from you.
If you aren’t a mom yet, don’t let cancer take that dream. From freezing eggs and IVF to surrogacy and adoption, if there is a will there is a way.
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