There is no talk of blueberries in my family – well, at least not without mentioning the blueberry incident. Eyes twinkle, hands rub together gleefully, posture adjusted to lean in a moment to hear the tale retold.
Again.
And Again.
Its not much of a story, yet every time I lower my eyes, squirm a bit, and blush appropriately. But in truth, I have grown accustomed to this tale. I’d probably miss it if they failed to tell the story.
We grew up on a farm. We had a goat.
One morning when I was three or four, I was outside playing when I burst back into the house exclaiming,”Mommy, I need a bucket!”
“Well, ok,” she says, “But why do you need a bucket?”
“Theres blueberries all over the yard!”
Never has any child been quite so ecstatic over goat turds.
Fast forward fourteen years to my high school graduation. Right before the actual graduation ceremony there was a religious ceremony, a kind of blessing for the graduates, and I was one of the speakers.
I stood beside Pastor Lee as he was introducing me to the standing room only crowd. As he spoke I started to understand that he was leading up to a story, a story he got from my mom, a story that, as he said, “Illustrates [my] exuberance and lust for life,” a story about mistaking goat turds for blueberries.
Then it was my turn to speak…
Its interesting to me how the laughter over the tale, the pre-emptive giggles, surpass the actual humor in the story. Yet still it has value as one of the stories that hold us together, make us a family. Our family story a weave of a multitude of little stories with a few big stories to give shape and context to the rest.
What about you? What little and big stories have been woven into the culture of your family? What story embarrasses you every time you hear it, but if they didn’t tell it, you’d miss it?
Go to your blogs, run, skedaddle. Write your story then leave a link here in the comments so that we can all go read your story and laugh with/at you.
The first of June. A new week. A new month. It’s like a new start the first day of each month. May is old news, as is yesterday. I sit here in a little french bakery with my coffee and crossant, my journal, and the rest of my life stretched out in front of me. On days like today, anything is possible. All is potential.
I’m getting used to the idea of being content, which may be why I’m blogging about it so much lately. I’m not accustomed to this feeling. I used to think that contentment would make me lazy, that I would lose any sense of ambition or drive to improve. In truth, I’ve found the opposite is true. By removing myself from a toxic work environment, I have opened up room in my life for healthier ways of spending my energy. I’m more creative and energetic. I no longer find myself monitoring my anxiety level, the anxiety is gone. I no longer lose sleep over work, and as a result I am better able to handle any challenge or emergency with which I am faced.
It is not as though my life is suddenly stress free. My life is full of challenges. We went from having a modest income to living off of student loans. Money is a significant source of stress. After my husband’s bout with pneumonia last month, our lack of health insurance has become a greater source of stress. We have plenty to worry about. But the worry is not making me sick.
Someone once explained to me that nature always seeks a balance. Two bowls of water connected by a wick will eventually equalize their water levels. The same goes for our lives. Whether or not we do so consciously, we seek balance. “You must let go of things in order to make room in your life for new gifts.” In this case, I had to let go of an income I thought I couldn’t live without in order to gain peace of mind. I should consider this lesson in light of our infertility issues. What else am I clinging to that is actually holding me back?
For the past couple of months the Husband has been encouraging me to pack up my goodies and go spend a day studying in the reading room in the Suzzillo Library at the University of Washington. It’s just a couple blocks away, but I’ve been resisting.
For some reason I felt intimidated.
I’m not sure why, in fact I think my IQ went up a few points just by my walking into the room.
This is such a beautiful room, and the people studying in the room treat it with respect. I love how there is a quiet in here that does not exist in other parts of the library. No jabbering on cell phones, no printers, no copiers, no high heels clacking.
Once I got over the gawkfest and took a few pictures, I was able to settle down and get some work done.
It was so nice to have a quiet place to work with no interruptions. Every once in a while the Husband is right.
I’ve been working on a new about page and to that end, started brainstorming little factoids about myself. I’ll share them here. The about page is still a work in progress.
1. I grew up in Alaska.
2. I have four little brothers. Yes, I was the oldest and the only girl. I couldn’t beat them with brawn but I had other ways: “If you go steal two cookies from the kitchen, you can have one of them.”
3. I like funny people. I grow weary of mean funny people.
4. I live in Seattle.
5. I have difficulty functioning in large bureaucracies.
6. I love figuring things out. I can entertain myself for hours trying to figure out how something works.
7. I love my country, but I believe integrity should be valued over patriotism.
8. I love to eat. I love to cook. I’m much more proficient at the former than the latter.
9. I love to have someone else clean up the kitchen after I cook.
10. I love to read and I wish I had more time to read.
11. I spent a summer working in Denali National Park.
12. I’m related to President McKinley.
13. I’m lazy.
14. I love to take photographs but I really don’t know what I’m doing. Most of the cool photographs I take are really just dumb luck. I’m signing up for a photography class for next quarter.
15. I tend to notice things that other people walk right on by. Sometimes this makes me incredibly lucky. Often this makes me easily distracted.
16. Drawbridges and other feats of engineering turn me on.
17. Even if you were trying to help, I believe that if you are doing something that makes the situation worse or in retrospect turns out to be bad, you should stop doing that thing right now. The same applies for the war in Iraq.
18. I am turning into a morning person. I don’t know why that’s happening and quite frankly its scaring the crap out of me.
19. I believe democracy is a wonderful form of government, I wish our government would subscribe to it. (Count all the votes.)
20. I believe in God.
21. I believe it should be required for all Americans to learn a second language in order to graduate from High School. It helps you to understand that the world does not revolve around you. It will also help us to catch up with the education standards of the rest of the industrialized world.
22. I believe that Obama will be a better president than Hillary; this has nothing to do with her gender. Obama is better at listening and comprehending what people are saying. Better than John McCain, too.
23. I believe that travel helps you become a better person because it forces you to re-evaluate assumptions and stereotypes and see the world for what it is.
24. I dislike walking on eggshells around people and if I have to do that for any length of time, I am likely to exit the relationship.
25. I don’t have a favorite color and every time someone asks my favorite color I give them a different answer. I tell the truth every time. I tell them what my favorite color is at that precise moment; right now it’s turquoise. I’ve learned “What is your favorite color” is a bad prompt for password recovery.
26. I don’t like it when people quote scripture at me. William Shakespeare said it best: “The Devil can quote Scripture for his own purpose.” Just because you’re attacking me with verses doesn’t mean you’re not evil.
27. I fancy myself a writer, the purpose of this blog is to get myself accustomed to the idea of people actually reading my writing, and having an opinion about what I said.
28. I get angry when people make assumptions about what I’m going to say and run with that when I still haven’t even finished the sentence.
29. I rarely drink. Not because I’m opposed to it, I just don’t enjoy it when I do drink. I should clarify, I do love a glass of wine with dinner, I just don’t like feeling buzzed or drunk.
30. I really enjoy moments of quiet. I rarely listen to mp3s or CDs; I’d rather have the quiet.
31. I recently quit my day job to become a full time student.
32. I think we should do away with the electoral party. This was invented at a time when the common man didn’t have the time or inclination to pay attention to politics, and even if he did he had no access to information. Now there is enough information out there for everyone to have access to it, both men and women, and if we make the time and have the inclination to vote, that should count for something more than just electoral accrual.
33. I used to be a tour guide. “And we’re walking. And we’re walking. And we’re stopping…”
34. I value integrity.
35. I value our servicemen and women and I feel bad that they have been put in this no win situation. I believe they cannot do their job and defend us if they and all their equipment are trapped in a quagmire on the other side of the world.
36. I want to be a mom.
37. I was blessed with awesome parents.
38. I was raised in a fundamentalist Baptist church – While I still believe some of what I was taught there, I reject more of it. In particular I reject the assumptions, hate, warmongering, bigotry, xenophobia, fear of learning, and brainwashing, yes I said brainwashing, tactics used by fundamentalist Christian churches.
39. If I’m having a chocolate crisis, a Hershey bar will not fix the problem. It’s boring and bleh. That’s not to say I won’t eat the Hershey bar.
40. If you tell me to do something I won’t do it, even if I was planning to do it anyways.
41. I’m a 37 year old college student and I frequently find myself completely surrounded by 18 year olds. Sometimes that makes me feel young, sometimes that makes me feel very, very old.
42. I’m a klutz. I fall down all the time. I usually have at least one bruise.
43. I’m a democrat because I believe in small government and long term solutions instead of the quick fixes and money/power grabs favored by republicans – figure that one out.
44. I’m a slob. My house is always a mess, so if you’re planning to drop by, please give me a call first so I can stuff all the mess into the oven and closets before you get here.
45. I’m generally a happy person.
46. I’m having a bad hair day. It doesn’t matter what day you read this.
47. I’m likely to say something completely inappropriate in a social situation because I don’t know what to say, especially if I’m nervous.
48. I’m rebellious.
49. I tend to look at the world through the viewfinder of my camera, which means sometimes I have a hyperfocused view that may look quite different from the big picture.
50. I’ve been dealing with infertility for four years and now that 40 is staring at me, mocking me actually, I’m starting to get a little freaked out.
51. I believe life is too short to spend it around toxic people, even if it’s part of your job. Change your job if you have to in order to get away from them.
52. My grandma is 97 years old and she can still command a room; she walks in and everyone turns their heads and hangs on her every word.
53. My husband is the most fascinating person I have ever met. It completely turns me on that he can speak to me in Spanish, Tajik, Farsi, and Arabic even though I have absolutely no idea what he’s saying (Ever seen “A Fish Called Wanda?).
54. My husband plays bagpipes. (And guitar and he just got a new Persian Tar)
55. My twenty year high school reunion is coming up in a year and I’m already freaked out about it. I need to lose a pound a week.
56. Sensitive people annoy me. I’m not saying that everyone should be brutish or hewn from stone, but please don’t get your feelings hurt if I occasionally forget that the world revolves around you. I’m just kind of brutish like that.
57. Someday I would like to write a cookbook, but I never measure and I can’t follow directions without changing something significant.
58. Sometimes I have panic attacks. Sometimes I’m afraid I’m going to have a panic attack. Both situations suck.
59. I believe that you should not pledge anything unless you actually understand what you are promising. I have nothing against anyone saying the pledge of allegiance at any time, however I believe forcing children to take an oath of which they have no understanding further degrades the general understanding in this country of what a promise is.
60. I believe you should always re-evaluate your stance. There are always opportunities to learn new things. Sometimes new information, or the discovery that someone lied, will reveal the fact that your previous opinion was flawed. There is nothing wrong with correcting yourself when you learn. This is not flip-flopping on the issues. This is being responsible. As such, everything on this list is subject to change.
I spent quite a bit of time soaking up the sun from Mom’s balcony this evening. It was 80 degrees, but she got just enough breeze off Puget Sound to make it quite comfortable.
This flower was staring at me the whole time – so I took a picture of it.
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