Ophelia
Sidewalk art in Victoria, B.C., snapped just just as the rain began.
A Walk in the Park
Gem found some daisies on our walk in the park.
Along the Burke-Gilman Trail 4/25/10
Dear Gem – Month 12 – First Birthday
It’s been quite a month: big news, big adjustments. Tomorrow morning I go in for the mastectomy. That means I will not be able to lift you for a while after the surgery, maybe even a couple weeks. It’s going to be a bigger adjustment than what you have already experienced, but we are going to get through this. I will find ways to pile pillows around myself so that you can still snuggle with me. There will be a lot more people around the house to help out with things, so you will have an opportunity to make a lot more friends.
All these changes are important, but I also want to make sure that they don’t overshadow you, and your development. You just had your first birthday! We had a big birthday party for you, and Mariajose, with the help of Aunt Trisha, Ericka, and Leonor, made you the most awesome birthday cake that was almost as tall as you.
Bumble Bees and Daisies
You are getting so smart, and it’s so much fun to watch. You ‘read’ your books out loud, pointing at different pictures and sometimes even the words. In each of your books you have a few favorite pages that you return to time and again. I’ve made a habit of leaving a book in your crib when I tuck you in, and often you wake up, discover the book and entertain yourself with it for quite a while before deciding you want some attention. Sometimes, when I hear you ‘reading’ through the monitor, I sneak in and watch you interact with the book. You are so involved that it can be several minutes before you discover that I am in the room with you.
You are also getting feisty and developing a sense of humor. You’ve started hand feeding me some of your Cheerios. Sometimes, you will hold one out for me and wait till my mouth gets right up to it before pulling away and eating it yourself – and then giggling. And then the next Cheerio – you bite it in half and feed me the other half. That is just too cool.
Two weeks ago you took your first international trip. Daddy was invited to speak at a conference at the University of Victoria in Victoria, British Columbia. We decided to make a long weekend of it and stayed for four days at a great little suite hotel. Somehow I managed to lose the battery to my camera for most of the trip, and then found it right before we returned home, so we didn’t get many pictures. But you had a wonderful time. We stayed away from the tourist traps, and hung out in the neighborhoods where the locals live. We went to a huge park full of ponds and ducks and you ran across the grass with your arms waving in the air chasing the ducks. We went to a petting zoo, and you chased the baby pygmy goats around and laughed the whole time.
You decided to sit down inside the Apples to Apples box and Uncle Tim and Aunt Mel\’s Easter party
We have so much fun together, you and me and Daddy. Every day is a new adventure – you make a new discovery or pick up a new mannerism. We got some family pictures taken the other day and in one of the shots you are raising one of your eyebrows at the photographer. You started talking with your hands, waving them around for emphasis. You say hi to everybody as we walk around town, and you love running through the fountains at the mall, with the cold, cold, water. I have to make sure to bring a change of clothes when we go out for a walk, because there is a good chance we will come across a water feature and you will get wet.
I can’t wait to see what you are going to do next.
I’m so lucky I get to be your Mommy, and I’m so lucky I get to be married to your Daddy. I’m just overwhelmed with love and happiness right now.
I love you so much Baby Girl,
Mommy
Read more Letters to Gem.
Pondering the Reconstruction Era
I started the morning posing for topless photos in the harsh clinical light of the plastic surgeon’s office. I hadn’t given much thought to what the ambiance might be like should I ever pose topless, but doctors in lab coats with a changing curtain for a backdrop never crossed my mind. If you told me a year ago I’d be in a plastic surgeon’s office fondling samples of silicon and saline breast implants I would have laughed at you. While there are a few parts of my body that could use a tune-up, my breast size was not exactly inadequate.
My belly size is also not inadequate. The camera and I had a bit of a disagreement as to whether or not I sucked in my belly for the exposure. I swear I sucked in my belly, but the camera won that round, and round belly is permanently preserved in the before shots in my medical records.
As it turns out, that’s not all bad. I happen to be a good candidate for a DIEP procedure, which means instead of using artificial implants like saline or silicon, the reconstruction involves my belly fat up to rebuild my breasts. Double Bonus Points!!
My big takeaway for today is that there is life after breast cancer – and it comes with perky tatas!
You can learn more about my cancer story here:
Let’s Connect
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Happy First Birthday, Baby Girl
I know I’m not going to be able to call you Baby Girl for very much longer, but I’m going to take advantage of this opportunity while I can. This past year has been so much fun. Happy Birthday!
Dear Gem – Month 11
In two weeks you will be one year old. Today you are walking and have a handful of words in your vocabulary.
A year ago I was on bedrest, and still worried you might be born too early. You have always been in a bit of a hurry, even before you were born. I went into labor the first time with you nearly 7 weeks early. It took a week in the hospital and the intervention of a crew of doctors and nurses. They gave us steroids to strengthen your lungs and another drug to slow the contractions, and it worked. You still showed up 18 days early, but by then the interventions had strengthened your lungs and you had gained enough weight to thrive on your own. You made your arrival perfectly healthy, and strong, and beautiful.
Your physical development has been fun to watch and can be tracked through the many photos we’ve taken this past year, but it’s the development of your character that is most amazing to me. You are so curious. You want to learn and explore everything. You don’t just quickly glance at a new item, you study it, turning it over and over in your hand upside-down, sideways, inside-out.
Last night you spent hours with Daddy’s keys. Sure you spent a little time shaking them and enjoying the jangle, but most of that time was spent examining each individual key; turning it over and over, feeling the smooth edge and the rough edge, tasting it (yuck). There was a spiral notebook near you and each key as it was examined was tried in each of the slots along the binding of the spiral note book. Every single key. Not only are you curious and studious, you are almost scientific in your methodology.
Every day I marvel at how lucky I am that I get to be your Mommy; that I get to spend every day watching you grow and learn, and that I’m on the receiving end of all those smiles and hugs and kisses.
We got some really scary news last week. Mommy has breast cancer. But I’m going to fight this. You’re going to watch me kick cancer’s butt. And at the same time, I’m going to make sure that you get all the attention and hugs and kisses and learning opportunities that you need to grow up strong and confident and healthy. We’ll get through this baby girl; you and me and Daddy.
Your smiles and giggles are the best medicine for me.
I love you
Mommy
Read more Letters to Gem.
You can learn more about my cancer story here:
Let’s Connect
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