Summer Colors
Writers’ Workshop: Why I Blog, or Don’t
I keep meaning to play along with MamaKat and her weekly writing workshops, but I never seem to be able to make it happen. Then this prompt came along, and I decided it was time to put in print all those excuses floating around in my head.
3.) What have you been busy doing that’s keeping you from updating your blog? How hard is it for you to get back into the swing of blogging when you take time off? (inspired by Sera)
The first, and most obvious, excuse is my 2 month old daughter. I knew long before she was born that she would consume my time and energy, but what you know in theory does not always match the magnitude of what happens in reality. I just don’t have the time. I really don’t know how women parent their children, manage their home, and then find the wherewithal to hold down a job too. I’m lucky to get a blog post in a couple times a week. (yes, I know that stay at home moms work – I am a stay at home mom, and I’m having trouble keeping up with the work load. Trust me, I know that stay at home moms work.)
Another big thing that’s holding me back from posting is that I don’t know what this blog is about anymore. I’ve been thinking a lot about this blog, why it exists, and what I’m trying to do with it. Since Gem came along, I write most every post with her in mind. In fact, even the posts that are not directed at her or about her, are usually written for her in some way. I’m beginning to think of this blog as one big ongoing letter to my child that I just happen to be sharing with the general public. I have this idea that if anything happened to me, she would have this blog – something in my own words that tells her who I am, what I believe, what I care about, what I value… I’m not planning on having anything happen to me, but there’s something comforting about knowing that I have something to leave behind for her, just in case. But this blog is more than that as well. It’s also a public platform, it’s an opportunity to interact online with others like me, it’s writing practice, it’s a soapbox… Which takes me back to being a little confused about what this blog is really about.
Then there is the big issue of confidence, or the lack thereof. I write posts all the time and then delete them before before publishing. There are so many reasons for this. I worry that my writing skills are not up to par. I worry that people will get tired of so many pictures of my daughter. I worry that I have nothing to worthwhile to say. I worry about the reactions of my family members who are so offended by my studies and beliefs regarding politics and organized religion. That old Seuss quote about “Be who you are and say what you mean because those who matter don’t mind, and those who mind don’t matter” doesn’t help any when those who mind are your family. But then I think of my daughter again – what would I want her to do? Do I want her to sensor herself to please those who do not value her perspective or insight? Absolutely not. So why do I do it myself? What kind of example am I providing? AND What happens if someday her beliefs are different than mine? Will I be offended by her writings? On a theoretical level, I believe that would not be a problem. I really hope that I can live up to that in reality. Of course I’d like her values and beliefs to match mine – I value what I value for a reason. On the other hand, I would rather she had well researched values and beliefs of her own rather than just parroting what her parents (and teachers and preachers) taught.
Then after all that cogitating, I’m just too exhausted to write.
Besides, it’s time to change a diaper.
The Secret is in the Sauce
I get to be queen for a day!
Today I’m the featured blogger at The Secret is in the Sauce.
The news came as quite a shock – I’ve been slacking a bit on the blog since the baby was born. This sure got me motivated to get back to writing!
The posts that are being highlighted are:
Thank you so much to the SITS girls.
Pregnancy
a journey started in a moment of heat
making love, making a child
at the same time making myself
something more than myself
changing from woman
to mother
I am not the same person
Invaded,
my body is not my own
my belly rolls and kicks
with a power I don’t possess
I am possessed
the new life within my body
changes my body:
juicy curves
rosy cheeks
thick hair
long nails
glowing skin –
I feel the weight
of my husband’s eyes
there is more to me now
I feel the connection
I am the connection
between past and future
I am full of hope
full of life
I see the smile in your eyes
when you see my belly
strangers fall over themselves to get the door
my husband holds my hand as we cross the street
then doesn’t let go
at home I rest
my husband wraps himself around me
palming my belly, whispering
“my two greatest loves
right here in my hand”
lady in waiting
simultaneously wishing
to speed up time
and hold this moment forever
Book Review: Writer Mama: how to raise a writing career alongside your kids
Have you ever thought about making a living as a writer? That thought has been a constant companion of mine for the past 25 years. Yes, 25 years, and it was just about exactly one year ago that I actually started doing something about it.
Now with a little one on the way, I wondered if that dream would need to be postponed yet again. I really shouldn’t be so quick to sacrifice my dreams yet again to cater to the needs of everyone else around me. One of the things I most want to provide for my daughter is a good example. I want my daughter to grow up looking up to a mother who is loving and kind and attentive, yes, but also self-actualized, intellectually stimulated, self-sufficient, engaging, happy, and living up to her potential. I want to provide this example to my daughter because I wish these traits for her (in addition to the fact that I’m worth it, dammit).
Writer Mama
Topics covered in the book include (among many others):
- how to manage writing time around caring for children
- how to deal with the “clips catch-22,” or how to get published if you’ve never been published
- the business of writing: queries, article submissions, contracts, negotiations
- managing your home and while managing your writing business
- how to conduct interviews
- editing and polishing your work
One of the hardest things to deal with for many who work from home, not just moms, is the fact that others tend to disrespect the time of the home worker. When people pack up their briefcase and head off to the office, that work time is respected and to some extent, even sacred. Those working from home seldom get the same respect unless they are very clear about setting their boundaries with others in advance.
Because of People Who Don’t Get It, if you are not good at setting boundaries with adults and children, you’re going to need to start practicing. I suggest you start sooner rather than later. If you wait until you have a deadline looming to try to convince family members that your work matters and that you deserve support in gettting it done, you will be sorry (and probably late with your work too).
I’m really appreciating this book. It is well organized so specific topical information is easy to find. I suspect I will be consulting it regularly over the coming months and years.
FTC Disclosure: affiliate links were used in this post.
Bleeding Espresso makes it to finalist round in the 2009 Bloggies
My friend Michelle of Bleeding Espresso has made it to the finalist round for the 2009 Bloggies in the Best European Blog category.
Michelle Fabio, an American writer and attorney leaves the Anthracite Coal Region of Pennsylvania for her family’s ancestral village in Calabria, Italy, falls in love, gets two dogs, writes to her heart’s content and begins bleeding espresso. No, really.
Bleeding Espresso is one of my favorite blogs with wonderful recipes, beautiful photography and great articles that give us a taste of Italy, a taste of America, and anything else that sets her heart on fire. Stop by her blog and then stop by the bloggies and give her a vote.
