Beautiful Baby
I can’t stop staring at my beautiful baby.
I feel pretty
I didn’t feel pretty while I was growing up. I’m not making this statement as a complaint, simply stating a fact: I didn’t feel pretty. I wasn’t quite a tomboy either, as I was much too clumsy to shoulder that label. I was smart, but smart didn’t make me any points at the christian school I attended, nor at church. Smart actually proved to be a problem in those environments.
There were a few moments I felt pretty as a teenager and young adult. Some young man tells me I’m pretty, and every once in a while I would believe it. This wasn’t a good thing, either. I was young, insecure, and desperately wanted to be accepted – as a result I was easily manipulated and, on occasion, used.
This week’s topic on the Beautiful Like Me project is What person or people are the most influential about how you feel about yourself? Who influences you the most to feel beautiful?
This is a tough topic for me. While I have memories that help to explain why I didn’t feel pretty (let’s face it, kids are mean), I have very little to draw on for positive influences on my self image. Yet for some reason, somewhere during my adulthood I started to feel pretty. Why is that? What caused my to turn my self image around? A makeover? New clothes? Extreme weight loss?
None of the above.
Confidence
It was confidence. I got comfortable in my own skin, learned to accept what I’ve got and make the best of it. I still have bad days but I have learned that there is a powerful link between my confidence – in any area of my life – and my self image. I actually felt pretty while I was nine months pregnant. It goes the other way as well. If I wake up with a giant zit on my chin, it can take a toll on my confidence at work or school.
For me the answer to the question of the day is myself. While it’s true that my husband can make me feel like a knock out, really it’s my own attitude and confidence that makes a difference on a daily basis on how I feel about how I look.
I look at my daughter and I wonder how to help her through this issue. I want her to believe she is beautiful, and I tell her she is all the time. On the other hand, I don’t want her to put too much value in superficial qualities. We joke about how describing a woman as having a great personality means that she is not good looking. But a great personality is so much more important and will get you so much further in life than superficial beauty.
I hope to raise a young lady who is confident and happy, who knows how to make friends and feels good about herself. If she happens to be gorgeous (of course she’ll be gorgeous), well that’s ok too.
Check out the other blogs that are participating in this project:
Wicked Step Mom
Nature’s Child
She’s got a hold on you
I knew it wouldn’t take long for her to wrap Daddy around her little fingers. I didn’t think it would be so literal. Baby Girl likes to grab the hair that grows at the base of Daddy’s throat.
Of course when Daddy calls for Mommy to rescue him from Baby’s clutches, Mommy laughs and stops to take a picture first.
Four Generations
Dear Gem – Month 2
You are two months old as of Friday; it is just amazing to me how fast time is moving. You are so different today from the way you were a month ago. You are much bigger; you now weigh more than 13 pounds, and the doctor says you are thriving. You spend more of your time wide awake. You are more aware of your surroundings. You recognize people and places, and will sometimes break into a huge smile when you see me or Daddy. You are so much fun to be around.
You make the cutest faces.
(Yes, that’s Daddy trying to torment you in his Darth Vader mask)
Daddy brought home a huge bouquet of flowers for my first Mother’s Day, and you were mesmerized. You studied those flowers intently, even as they started to change and die off. We kept the remains of those flowers much longer than we should have, because you loved to look at them. I told Daddy he’s going to have to bring us flowers much more frequently.
Yesterday, while I was singing to you, you broke into a big grin and started cooing along with me. You giggle, and laugh, and squeal with delight. You babble away at the toys hanging from your bouncy seat. We have so much fun with you.
It’s not all laughter and smiles. The doctor warned us that you would probably be fussier this month, and my goodness that is certainly true. We can count on several hours of crying every night. But we are learning – learning patience, learning your cues, learning what works for you. This is not uncommon for babies of your age. Your body is changing and there are times when you are very uncomfortable. I can tell your tummy really hurts. Sometimes I want to cry too, because I can’t fix it for you. But this wont last forever and you will feel better soon.
We’ve gone on lot’s of adventures this month: we went to the Aquarium when Aunt Dee came to visit and almost every day we go out for a walk. You spend a lot of time on me in the carrier, or in your stroller. You’ve gotten so accustomed to riding around in the car that you automatically move in all the right ways to help me buckle you into your car seat – unless, of course, you’re mad and don’t want to go in the car.
It’s amazing to me how smart you are already. You have a bright future ahead of you.
I’m so curious about you and the person you will become. Will you be introverted or extroverted? Light-hearted or serious? Creative or mechanical – or both? It doesn’t matter which way you are on any of these questions. It’s like when I wondered whether your hair will be brown or blonde before you were born. I’m just so curious. I’m so excited about the life ahead of you, and watching you grow into a lovely young woman.
Meanwhile, I still can’t get enough of watching you, even while you sleep.
Love,
Mommy
Read more Letters to Gem.
