For months my baby girl would hold on to a toy you put in her hand, but it wasn’t really meaningful to her. And then, some moment when I wasn’t watching, she started playing with them: holding, shaking, tasting, passing it from hand to hand until it drops to the floor and the entire world comes to an end. At times I’ve even caught her talking to them, and I don’t know if I have ever witnessed anything quite so endearing.
She’s picked her favorite toys as well. Not one favorite toy. Three. And she tries to hold on to all three of them at the same time, with varying degrees of success. I clipped two of them together in an attempt to save my own sanity. The toys are easier for her to hold; my sanity is still in question.
We studied up a lot on the best childcare techniques and theories before Gem was born. One of the things we kept coming across over and over again was the 5 Ss – 5 soothing techniques that when used in combination should help to calm a stressed out baby.
The basic concept behind these techniques is duplicating the environment in the womb to make baby feel safe
Swinging – motion
Shushing sounds – soothing sounds
Side or Stomach – for holding, not for sleeping
Sucking – pacifier or bottle or breastfeeding
Swaddling
We dutifully went through the steps when Gem was fussy, and swaddled her every night when putting her to bed. All of the steps seemed to make her feel better except swaddling. Swaddling made her mad. Since the purpose of these steps was to relieve her stress, we thought why keep this up? So we stopped swaddling.
There was no major fallout from excluding that step, but I stressed a bit on colder nights. I couldn’t think of a good way to keep her warm since loose blankets in the crib are a no-no.
Then a couple weeks ago we went to a reunion from our childbirth class to meet everyone’s babies, and touch base on how we were all doing. We got to talking about the 5 Ss and how helpful they are, and I mentioned how Gem really hates to be swaddled.
“Our’s does too,” replied one of the dads, “but we swaddle her up every night anyways, and she sleeps like a rock.”
So I thought I’d give it another try. She started screaming while I was wrapping her up. I wrapped her anyways, and told myself I’d step away where she can’t see me and let her go for 5 minutes; then I would reassess what to do next. She was passed out in less than 2 minutes. Now that we’ve been doing this for a while, she doesn’t even fuss every time I wrap her up – and she doesn’t wake up in the middle of the night as often either.
One of the things about swaddling a baby who is bigger than newborn, is that the receiving blankets are completely worthless. The receiving blankets are much to small to swaddle a baby over 12 pounds.
Grandma to the rescue.
My mom went to the fabric store and picked out several different patterns of flannel. The bolts are roughly 3 feet wide, mom had them just cut the length to match the width so they were square. Then she did a quick hem around the edges.
These blankets are pretty much all we use anymore. The little receiving blankets make great burp cloths, but to snuggle up with baby, we use the big flannels. They have been a life saver.
Wrap her up like a burrito, and my baby sleeps like a Gem.
Gem rolled over to her belly last Monday, by Friday she was rolling to her belly and back to her back. She was never a fan of tummy time, so the denouement of all that struggle, and effort – and ultimately success – was the indignity of finding herself face down.
We’ve moved beyond that now. Aside from her new skill of returning to her back, she’s made peace with the view from her belly. A new baby gym with toys hanging over head as well as attached to the mat below have helped facilitate that change of heart.
Now that she can roll over. She’s decided she’d rather sleep on her side.
I love how these little legs are so plump, her feet don’t touch the bed.
As I write this we are sitting outside at a table with an umbrella. Next to us is a fountain; the soothing sound of falling water is occasionally punctuated by the squeals of toddlers splashing, and kicking, and soaking themselves. We are just feet from a gardening store, plants and flowers spill out onto the sidewalk. Babies and parents and strollers are everywhere. We come here daily. We play for a while, and look around at the sights and the other babies, and then I dive into my homework while you nap in your stroller.
These are our days lately. I try to get in as much homework as possible while you’re napping, but there is too much, so it consumes a great deal of your awake time as well. I try reading my textbooks out loud to you, and that will hold your attention for a page or two (which I think is a pretty fantastic attention span for a 4 month old baby). I want to make sure you have enough experiences outside of the home, and interaction with me, to help you develop your brain and motor skills. At the same time, passing these classes is critical for our short term and long term well being. Keeping my grades up helps me keep my financial aid so we can pay the rent; completing my degree will help me support us, and provide you with the benefit and example of educated parents. Balance, it seems, is every mother’s challenge. I’m trying to find a balance between keeping my grades up and not neglecting you.
We have managed to pack in some great experiences this month. We walked through flower gardens, played in water fountains, watched the birds in the back yard, listened to a live band, watched a bonfire, and attended several parties. You are so adventurous and adaptable – not at all intimidated by new sights and experiences, in fact, you thrive in those situations.
You have changed so much over the past month. You have discovered your fingers and they are your favorite toy these days; they’re so interactive and ever-present. Your motor skills have improved and you can now reach for and grasp toys. You shake your rattles and put everything in your mouth. Grandma gave you a spoon to play with at a restaurant and you put it right into your mouth as if you knew exactly how it was intended to be used.
Your latest skill is kisses. Big, wet, slobbery, baby kisses, and we love them so. Each time you give us a kiss, you squeal and laugh as if it’s the coolest thing you’ve ever done. We think it’s pretty cool, too.
And talking. Oh my goodness, you talk all the time. It’s all babble and giggles, but we both enjoy it so much. You wake up happy every morning, and talk to your fingers for a good half hour before you start to want some attention. This is such a nice way for me to wake up – to slowly ease into consciousness to the sound of your babbling and laughter. I think the world would be a better place if everyone could wake up every day to the sound of babies laughing.
We don’t have a lot of money to throw around, nearly every penny is accounted for long before our student loans even come in. So buying a crib was a luxury beyond our means, especially because we had a second hand pay yard that she was sleeping in quite well.
The play yard was a perfectly safe place for baby to sleep, and quite frankly, I don’t think she cared one way or another. But it was hell on my back reaching all the way down to two inches off the ground, over the waist high rails, to lift my now 17 pound baby without the use of my knees. My mother-in-law decided that just wont do, and she bought us a crib (Thank you, Grandma!!!). Now little Gem’s bed is the nicest piece of furniture in the house.
Mommy is standing up straighter already – I expect this hunch in my back to disappear in no time.
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