My 20 Year High School reunion is taking place in Palmer, Alaska this weekend, but I won’t be there. I was planning to go, in fact I was looking forward to this reunion. I wanted to show off my daughter, and introduce my husband to the people who were such an important part of my past.
It didn’t work out. Why doesn’t matter, although money was no small part of the consideration.
I find it interesting how my feelings in anticipation of this event changed over the past few years. Several years ago, when looking forward to the reunion it was all about comparison. I was anxious about seeing my classmates. I was lucky in love, but the tides had turned financially and I was no longer bringing in the big bucks. How would I stack up against my classmates and their achievements? I didn’t have a beautiful house, or a cabin on the lake, or money – or time – for vacations. How would I fare in the competition of “Who’s got the best life?”
Then MySpace happened, which was quickly followed by the even better Facebook. My classmates joined up one after another, hunting down other classmates and cajoling them to sign on as well. A circle of friends grew. We were interacting with each other in a way we never had before. Looks didn’t matter. Those extra 40 pounds were irrelevant. As we shared baby pictures and survey results, built farms together and challenged each other to scrabble games and mafia wars, friendships reconnected and new ones grew irrespective of the cliques that existed during our high school days.
At our ten year reunion we showed up, showed off, exchanged email addresses, and promptly got back to our lives once the reunion was over. Few of us stayed in touch. Don’t get me wrong, I had a great time and I’m glad I went. But I suspect this reunion will be different.
This time we reconnected before the reunion. Over the past couple of years we’ve shared each other’s trials and triumphs. We’ve cared about each other in specific ways: hoping a job interview goes well, a healthy baby (or grandbaby), a big cross country move, and a cancer diagnosis. We stopped being a generalized and generic collective and, by interacting with each other through Facebook, became a collection of individuals. Competition matters less (unless you’re playing Scrabble against Liz), those 40 extra pounds matter less, the paycheck matters less, the living arrangements matter less.
What really matters is who you are when you sit down and start typing. Are you real? Do you give a shit? And, remember when…
So I’ll be thinking of you this weekend Palmer High School Class of ’89. And when you get back home, I’ll still be on Facebook, awaiting your updates, and photos, and maybe a cherry tree for my farm.
Cheers!
On a side note: What do you do with a 20+ year old woolen letter jacket? I know the streets are crowded with people who will desperately need a coat this winter, but this coat is so tied up in my identity (not to mention that my name is embroidered all over it), it doesn’t feel right to hand it over to just anyone. It still fits. Maybe I’ll wear it this winter and see if it makes me feel younger.
I haven’t been to a high school reunion, but I’ve really been loving facebook for the day to day stuff.
Yeah, wear the jacket. It’s cool!
Anna’s last blog post..All Night Long
Hey, I want to play Scrabble and Mafia Wars with you!
(And I still have my high school letter jacket, although yours looks like it faired much better than mine.)
Margaret (Nanny Goats)’s last blog post..Putting My eCards on the Table
Oh gosh yes, we skipped our 20 year reunion – nobody organized it! But now with facebook everybody is getting in touch again – maybe a 25 year reunion?
My 20 year is in November and I joined Facebook on the basis of that. I know exactly what you mean and I’m sorry you can’t go. As for the coat, I think you should wear it.
jerseygirl89’s last blog post..PollDaddy ratings and polls
Judy,
A lovely and very true post. I know I’ve enjoyed meeting your people via your blog and your facebook posts. I am envious of your school colors and your letter jacket looks fabulous!
Happy Fx4, MaMa Jitters
Candid Carrie’s last blog post..Friday Foto Finish Fiesta, 2009.07.17
“…Are you real? Do you give a shit?” Words to live by. Truly.
Thank you for coming on by my blog.
heidi’s last blog post..head over heels
My 20 year is next month and I am really looking forward to it…I agree, FB has really helped reconnect people. Sorry you had to miss it ! I hope you get great updates. And love that coat! They were sturdy then, yes? It looks brand new!
JennyMac’s last blog post..Lemur for sale
I joined Facebook to help plan my 15 year reunion last year… I’m actually so glad I did. I’ve found lots of people from my very large high school class. Some of these people I knew well, some people I know better now than I did back then. Reunions are a funny thing. I think once you get over your own nerves and jitters (basically, once you get over yourself!) they can be really fun and at the very least, entertaining. I’m looking forward to our next reunion in 4 years!
Sydney’s last blog post..I’ve put on some weight, but I’ve got an excuse…
I’m just reposting these comments from Facebook so I dont lose them when they drop off my wall.
Margaret Andrews, Pilar Calderon and Stefani Folsom like this.
Heather Huyck Amgwert
I love your comments here! It is so true that we now have a way to be real people to each other on Facebook. I have reconnected to many family and friends that I never would have otherwise. Maybe you can incorporate your jacket into a nice quilt?
July 16 at 2:07pm
Melanie Lenard Bane
Judy i LOVED what you wrote. It is so perfect that I hope everyone reads it. Makes me want to go home and take pics of my jacket too, which is also hanging in the back of my closet. I don’t think mine is as clean as yours though
July 16 at 3:07pm
Britt Aklestad Cooper
You summed it up very well! Thankgoodness for FB!
July 16 at 3:15pm
Denise Hardy
Thanks Judy! That was Beautiful!
July 16 at 3:42pm
Nivol Niemi
Great thoughts Judy. I’ve been very hesitant to commit to going to the reunion this weekend. I’m still unsure, but now I’m rethinking it.
July 16 at 3:50pm
Pilar Calderon
Hey Jude! I really enjoy reading your post. Although I spent with you all just the last 6 months, I can see what you say. Those are true feelings that happen to many of us sometimes. Congratulations again on your baby girl! She is really beautiful!
July 16 at 5:50pm
Jennifer Persinger Martin
I think that FB has given everyone the opportunity to establish new friendships with old friends…does that make sense? As we’ve gotten older there are many of us who weren’t close in school but have much more in common now. Even though I go back every 1-2 years I miss Palmer very much and am looking forward to spending time with the people I grew up with in a town that will always have a special place in my heart.
Perfect Judy
July 16 at 7:05pm
Linnea Cummings
Great post! Sorry we’ll miss you this weekend.
July 16 at 11:44pm
[...] 20 Year High School Class Reunion Contemplating my high school class reunion and how connecting with my old classmates on Facebook changed my attitude towards attending. [...]