One of the frustrations I’ve had to deal with because of this breast cancer is my lopsidedness. Getting dressed in the morning takes quite a bit more thought and planning than ever before. I wasn’t small breasted to start with, but thanks to my mastectomy I have a bouncy D-Cup that swings a little lower since breastfeeding, and a rock hard, absurdly high, almost A-cup.
To make matters a little more interesting, the mastectomy side is augmented by a saline implant called an expander. I periodically go in for expansions, which means they inject more saline into the implant. This is in preparation for reconstruction after I complete the cancer treatment, but the expansions have to be complete before I start radiation. As a result, the size and shape of my mastectomy side “breast” changes to frequently. I’ll wait till the size and shape stabilizes to invest in a prosthesis, in the meantime I’m stuffing my bra with socks.
Yeah, you read that right. I’m stuffing my bra with socks. How very seventh grade. But at least in junior high they were both the same size, I wasn’t trying to make different sizes match each other. No matter how many socks I stuff into this bra, they will never bounce quite like my real breast.
These socks were made for wandering, and they do like to tour my chest wall as I’m moving about. They really like to get around while I’m running on the treadmill. Before I know it, they’ve worked their way under my armpit and each pump of my arm jams them a little further back under my arm. Excuse me a moment while I reach in and readjust my “girls” while running, and hopefully not stumbling, on the treadmill. Graceful, no? I find myself pushing my socks back into place as I walk around town. The boob is gone, it doesn’t feel like a boob anymore, so it’s easy to forget that while they’re just socks to me, to the average pedestrian it looks like I’m groping and playing with my boobs and I try to corral them back into place.
And yoga? the socks are likely to wind up just about anywhere, but I’ve mastered the art of readjustment during downward dog. People look at each other less during yoga anyways.
It’s not just while I’m exercising that the socks become an issue. A few weeks ago we sailed around Seattle on a gorgeous schooner. I disembarked the ship and my husband handed my 1 year old daughter down to me. She was a little wobbly on her feet as I set her down and knelt next to her on the deck. To catch her balance, she reached up and grabbed my shirt, and managed to grab my bra in the same handful. Out tumbled my sports socks in full sight of everyone looking down from the ship.
So if you see me out and about with a big lump under my arm, or up by my neck, or down by my abdomen, its just an errant sock trying to make a break for it. No need for concern. You might even be treated to a glimpse of my readjustment dance as I try to surreptitiously work it back into place.
I came over from your comment on my blog, and I’m glad I did. I really appreciate your grace and humor.
I love the image of readjusting during downward dog!
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Oh My…I am so glad you have kept your wonderful sense of humor! I remember vividly stuffing my bra in 7th grade…wanting boobies so badly! Now at 52…a little less would be okay. Take care…I love that you are doing Yoga…I need to get back to Pilates…it would help me to stay sane.
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I promise that if I see you out in public I will gently point out the escaping sock, if it’s not noticed by you. Thanks for that story!
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Wow. An amazing post. I guess you have to find the humor in the situation. And you definitely did! I can just imagine those socks falling out on the dock, and you calmly picking them back up (which I’m sure you did). Thanks for stopping by – happy to be over here!
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You had me at “breast cancer”! I have been there myself. Diagnosed w/ Stage 2 while I was pregnant with my 3rd child, bald, and one boob. The process of reconstructive surgery is awkward and humbling. I used a pillow-type thing, which was in stark contrast to my enormous hormonal ta-ta on the other side. LOL The thing that I have to look forward to (and laugh about), is that in about 30 years my bubbies will be the most firm thing on my body!…unless, of course, I still have all of my teeth.
Just keeping it real.
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That was definitey a humorous sock story alright! Life without a sense of humor would be so very dull, don’t ya think?
Thank you for visiting & commenting on my blog. I can’t wait to “look” around yours a bit more.
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Judy, wow. You have a gift for drawing forth deep emotion from your readers. It takes real skill to tackle a subject like breast cancer and make your readers laugh with you as you discuss something so intensely personal.
Found you after you commented on my blog, and I’m so glad I stopped by. I now have a great mental image of you in down dog with socks falling out of your bra, and I probably shouldn’t be giggling, but I am.
Rock on, sister. Those socks will be gone and replaced with some kick-ass saline before you know it.
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As a fellow cancer suvivor of a different kind, I hope it all goes well!
And what a better use for socks?
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Ty so much for visiting my blog. I came over to return the favor and am glad I did. I would gladly loan ya some of my boobs to the cause. I have DDD and can easily spare some..
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I come over from your comment on my post. So glad I did.
You made me feel like I was talking with my best friend about her ordeal. She has a way of finding the funny in it and so do you.
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Hello there! Stopping by from Mama Kats. I cannot tell you just how touching I thought your post was to me. It was inspiring as well as funny. You are truly remarkable and I give you a lot of credit for creating something humorous to write about breast cancer. I cannot even imagine what you are going through but I somehow can certainly imagine you and those mobile socks! : )
I walk the Susan G. Komen Breast Cancer Walk every year and it’s because of women like you that I walk those 60 long miles. I look forward to reading more of your blog.
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Great post! So glad you were able to use humor for your situation.
I have chicken cutlets also known as my sticky boobs which I regularly wear. I highly recommend them, however stick to the socks when you’re running on a treadmill because the sweat from running may cause the cutlets to slip off and fall to the floor. I don’t know which is more devastating, a sock falling from your top or a floppy fake chicken cutlet boob.
Thanks for stopping by my blog and leaving a comment.
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As someone who will most likely battle breast cancer in the future, and someone who used to use cotton balls to make the breasts that just wouldn’t grow, THANK YOU!!!
You rock!
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I think It takes real skill to tackle a subject like breast cancer and make your readers laugh with you as you discuss something so intensely personal. Found you after you commented on my blog, and I’m so glad I stopped by, anyway thanx for sharing with us.
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Thanks for sharing this story. No one talks about the sock and what happens after the masectomy and you tackle it with such humor and grace! I love your blog. I’m your new follower.
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Awesome how you can take a serious topic and make it relatable and funny. I loved this!
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Finding the humor is the key, and you have found it! I am in the middle of reconstruction myself – I had a double mastectomy in April ’09. I was stage 2. After chemo and radiation, I am SO ready to finish this up! The expanders are pleasant to expand, no?
Good luck with recovery!
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I haven’t been over here in a while, so I was a little shocked to read that you have cancer. I’m very sorry and am sending all kinds of good thoughts and prayers your way. And I appreciate too that you can find the funny in it, or at least, make it kind of funny. I sometimes find it easier myself to poke fun at a terrible situation than a mundane one. (Not that I mean to be nasty, but humor helps me deal.) To correct an entirely different problem, I went from DDs to Bs when I was 19, and it was one of the best decisions of my life. I hope your reconstruction goes just as well and you’re happy with the turnout. (((hugs))))
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Wow! I had no idea in my sheltered world. I just figured, you get reconstruction surgery….fix the other to match and wah-la…boobs. Thanks for sharing and giving us more understanding of what goes on after breast cancer. I am amazed at your courage to just keep on going to the things you want to do. By the way, thanks for connecting with me on my blog.
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I like your attitude, girlie! You made me laugh. Hope you are doing okay.
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