I am humbled and wowed by your response to my Wanna-Be-Mommy post about infertility. We’ve been trying to conceive for four years and I was feeling hormonal and tired and cranky and quite frankly nearly giving up hope when I wrote that piece. Your response lifted my spirits.
It is amazing to me that I can post a message to the internet and receive such an outpouring of support and comfort and hope. So many of you I could not pick out of a police lineup, yet given a paragraph of your writing I’d know exactly who you are. Thank you, all of you.
This week has been busy for me. My world has been turned upside down and sent spinning. I’ve fallen behind on my blog reading and commenting, in fact at the moment I’ve got well over a thousand posts in my reader. I’ve been extended another award, to which I have yet to respond. Thank you, My2Boyz! And I’m trying not to let myself get too far behind on my homework from school.
You see, the dizziness, and the hormones, and the fatigue were not just in my head. What I didn’t know when I wrote that post last week, was that I was already
pregnant
[happy dance]
Thank you, all of you, for your support. You have no idea how much it means to me. I imagine I’ll need your support and advice even more over the coming months and years.
In the middle of the dog days of summer it’s easy to forget that autumn is not very far off. The heat has really been getting to me this past week, but these cute little apples reminded me that harvest time is on its way.
Harvest time, for many, is a time of intense work and great joy.
I haven’t talked in this blog much about my infertility issues. Sometimes I have to wait till I’m ready to open the door on a topic.
We’re starving college students with no money. We haven’t really tried much beyond Clomid, Metformin and lots and lots of practice. On the other hand, I’m not that far off from 40, in fact she’s openly mocking me. I’m starting to feel the old biological clock speed up.
I know the vast majority of my readers are Mommies. I also know that for many of you, conceiving that little bundle of joy was not quite as easy as we were led to believe in health class.
One of the questions I ponder is: if we don’t have enough money, or even a house to mortgage, for fertility treatments or adoption, how on earth are we going to have enough money to properly care for a child? I know that’s not helpful. I know there’s a big difference between shelling out $10 to $50K up-front and shelling out the same amount over an extended period of time. What is it that makes us so susceptible to self-doubt?
We’re also considering adoption or fostering, but my husband’s work, once he finishes this Master’s degree, will most likely involve us living abroad. We need to be able to take the kids, possibly permanently, out of the country.
So here’s the point: I’m asking for your advice. What do you suggest? What worked for you? Any words of wisdom you want to share with me and all the other wanna-be-mommies out there?
It’s not that I don’t love inhaling jet exhaust, or gratuitous displays of military might, or testosterone charged military service recruiting sessions , or even the opportunity to have my tax dollars go towards consuming extra barrels of oil so Exxon can top their record earnings from last quarter – it’s the fact that I have to wear earplugs in my own house and even still my dishes and glasses have been rattling for three days. I’m tired and cranky and I’d like to take a nap, thank you. _________________________________________
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