Worrying plays a big role in the amount of stress I carry around. I worry about whether the cancer will come back, I worry about the well being of my child, I worry about how we will pay the rent. But worrying only increases the amount of stress that I carry, and it does nothing to help solve the problem. Sometimes I think I’m just worried and stressed because I have become accustomed to being worried and stressed.
We don’t get practice time, and then go out and live our lives after we’ve perfected ourselves. We go out and try things, see if they work, we fall down, we get up, we embarrass ourselves, we don’t die of embarrassment – but we don’t get to practice life without an audience. And that audience usually has an opinion. It doesn’t matter.
We talked about how difficult it is to describe Candice, and have people really understand just how awesome she was, or how deeply her absence is felt, about the urge to insist, “But you don’t understand! This was CANDICE!” Of course people didn’t understand, unless they’d met her. You only had to meet her once to really get it.