{"id":7008,"date":"2014-11-03T10:38:44","date_gmt":"2014-11-03T17:38:44","guid":{"rendered":"http:\/\/coffeejitters.net\/blog\/?p=7008"},"modified":"2021-03-18T22:14:28","modified_gmt":"2021-03-19T05:14:28","slug":"cancer-and-parenting-stephanie","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"http:\/\/coffeejitters.net\/blog\/2014\/11\/03\/cancer-and-parenting-stephanie\/","title":{"rendered":"How to Juggle Cancer and Parenting Series: Stephanie&#8217;s Story"},"content":{"rendered":"<table style=\"background-color: white; border: 1px dotted white; width: 100%; border-collapse: collapse;\" border=\"1\">\n<tbody>\n<tr>\n<td style=\"padding: 3px;\"><strong>Age at diagnosis:<\/strong>\u00a038<\/td>\n<td style=\"padding: 3px;\"><\/td>\n<\/tr>\n<tr>\n<td style=\"padding: 3px;\"><strong>Type of Cancer:\u00a0<\/strong>Breast cancer<\/td>\n<td style=\"padding: 3px;\"><strong>Stage at Diagnosis:\u00a0<\/strong>Stage 2<\/td>\n<\/tr>\n<tr>\n<td style=\"padding: 3px;\"><strong>Treatment Plan<\/strong>:\u00a0Surgery-bilateral mast w\/expanders,<br \/>\nChemo -6 cycles tac,\u00a0Radiation,\u00a0Delayed diep<\/td>\n<td style=\"padding: 3px;\"><strong>Current Status:\u00a0<\/strong>NED<\/td>\n<\/tr>\n<\/tbody>\n<\/table>\n<p><img data-recalc-dims=\"1\" loading=\"lazy\" decoding=\"async\" data-attachment-id=\"7011\" data-permalink=\"http:\/\/coffeejitters.net\/blog\/2014\/11\/03\/cancer-and-parenting-stephanie\/stephanie\/\" data-orig-file=\"https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/coffeejitters.net\/blog\/wp-content\/uploads\/2014\/08\/stephanie.png?fit=640%2C418\" data-orig-size=\"640,418\" data-comments-opened=\"1\" data-image-meta=\"{&quot;aperture&quot;:&quot;0&quot;,&quot;credit&quot;:&quot;&quot;,&quot;camera&quot;:&quot;&quot;,&quot;caption&quot;:&quot;&quot;,&quot;created_timestamp&quot;:&quot;0&quot;,&quot;copyright&quot;:&quot;&quot;,&quot;focal_length&quot;:&quot;0&quot;,&quot;iso&quot;:&quot;0&quot;,&quot;shutter_speed&quot;:&quot;0&quot;,&quot;title&quot;:&quot;&quot;}\" data-image-title=\"How to Juggle Cancer and Parenting Series &amp;#8211; Stephanie&amp;#8217;s Story\" data-image-description=\"&lt;p&gt;Just because you look ok on the outside &amp;#8211; it doesn&amp;#8217;t mean you are ok on the inside &amp;#8211; Stephanie&amp;#8217;s Story&lt;\/p&gt;\n\" data-image-caption=\"\" data-large-file=\"https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/coffeejitters.net\/blog\/wp-content\/uploads\/2014\/08\/stephanie.png?fit=640%2C418\" class=\"aligncenter size-full wp-image-7011\" src=\"https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/coffeejitters.net\/blog\/wp-content\/uploads\/2014\/08\/stephanie.png?resize=640%2C418\" alt=\"stephanie\" width=\"640\" height=\"418\" srcset=\"https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/coffeejitters.net\/blog\/wp-content\/uploads\/2014\/08\/stephanie.png?w=640 640w, https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/coffeejitters.net\/blog\/wp-content\/uploads\/2014\/08\/stephanie.png?resize=300%2C195 300w\" sizes=\"(max-width: 640px) 100vw, 640px\" \/><\/p>\n<h4>How did you tell your kids about the cancer diagnosis?<\/h4>\n<p>We used the local Gilda\u2019s club<\/p>\n<h4>How did your kids respond?<\/h4>\n<p>It was a very positive experience<\/p>\n<h4>What are some things you did that worked really well for your family with regards to dealing with the cancer, and treatment, while raising children?<\/h4>\n<ul>\n<li>I kept their routine as normal as possible<\/li>\n<li>Did not give them too much information<\/li>\n<li>Let them asked questions if they wanted to know more<\/li>\n<li>Kept very open lines of communication<\/li>\n<li>Used a lot of professional help- Gilda\u2019s club and local help from my hospital with this<\/li>\n<\/ul>\n<h4>Is there anything you wish you\u2019d done differently?<\/h4>\n<p>No<\/p>\n<h4>Do you have concerns about the long term impact of your cancer on your children?<\/h4>\n<p>Yes<\/p>\n<h4>What advice would you give to other moms who are diagnosed with cancer?<\/h4>\n<ul>\n<li>Don\u2019t give your children too much info<\/li>\n<li>Cancer is very scary for children.<\/li>\n<li>Children process info VERY different than adults. Let them ask questions (if they have any) and follow their lead<\/li>\n<\/ul>\n<h4>What concerns or fears troubled you the most?<\/h4>\n<p>How did my diagnosis and treatment impact my children<\/p>\n<h4>How did you deal with those fears?<\/h4>\n<p>Time will tell<\/p>\n<h4>Have those fears and concerns changed over time?<\/h4>\n<p>Yes, As more time passes-I think about this less<\/p>\n<h4>What was your darkest moment?<\/h4>\n<p>Mental breakdown and depression 18 months after diagnosis<\/p>\n<h4>What was your best moment?<\/h4>\n<p>Every day (including today)<\/p>\n<p>I love my life and my family and still think I am a very lucky person!!!<br \/>\nI am blessed<\/p>\n<h4>What did you do to take care of you? How did you splurge on yourself?<\/h4>\n<p>My husband put me first. Everything just fell into place: Whatever I needed \u2013 I got \u2013 whenever I needed it.<\/p>\n<h4>Were you able to get help from friends and family members while you were going through treatment?<\/h4>\n<p>Yes- I have an amazing group of friends<\/p>\n<p>You know the statement-it takes a village. I have a village.<\/p>\n<h4>Was it difficult to ask for help? Do you have any suggestions around the topic of asking for help?<\/h4>\n<p>Very difficult. It is very humbling. Especially when you are used to doing and not needing.<\/p>\n<h4>Did cancer\/treatment impact your relationship with your spouse\/partner?<\/h4>\n<p>Yes, Not in a negative way. I fully understand how much my husband loves me. As I said- I am a very lucky person<\/p>\n<h4>Do you have any relationship advice for young moms dealing with cancer?<\/h4>\n<p>Be honest.<\/p>\n<h4>What is something you wish your friends and family members understood about your cancer and its impact on your life? What would you tell the friends and family members of other mom\u2019s diagnosed with cancer? What would you want them to know about what she\u2019s about to go through, and how best they can support her?<\/h4>\n<p>Just because you look ok on the outside- it doesn\u2019t mean you are ok on the inside.<br \/>\nCancer is not like strep. You are not better in 5 days. It can take awhile (even years) until you are ok.<\/p>\n<p><img data-recalc-dims=\"1\" loading=\"lazy\" decoding=\"async\" data-attachment-id=\"7071\" data-permalink=\"http:\/\/coffeejitters.net\/blog\/2014\/09\/01\/juggle-cancer-parenting\/border-pink\/\" data-orig-file=\"https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/coffeejitters.net\/blog\/wp-content\/uploads\/2014\/09\/border-pink.png?fit=640%2C89\" data-orig-size=\"640,89\" data-comments-opened=\"1\" data-image-meta=\"{&quot;aperture&quot;:&quot;0&quot;,&quot;credit&quot;:&quot;&quot;,&quot;camera&quot;:&quot;&quot;,&quot;caption&quot;:&quot;&quot;,&quot;created_timestamp&quot;:&quot;0&quot;,&quot;copyright&quot;:&quot;&quot;,&quot;focal_length&quot;:&quot;0&quot;,&quot;iso&quot;:&quot;0&quot;,&quot;shutter_speed&quot;:&quot;0&quot;,&quot;title&quot;:&quot;&quot;}\" data-image-title=\"border-pink\" data-image-description=\"\" data-image-caption=\"\" data-large-file=\"https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/coffeejitters.net\/blog\/wp-content\/uploads\/2014\/09\/border-pink.png?fit=640%2C89\" class=\"aligncenter wp-image-7071 size-full\" src=\"https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/coffeejitters.net\/blog\/wp-content\/uploads\/2014\/09\/border-pink.png?resize=640%2C89\" alt=\"coffeejitters border pink\" width=\"640\" height=\"89\" srcset=\"https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/coffeejitters.net\/blog\/wp-content\/uploads\/2014\/09\/border-pink.png?w=640 640w, https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/coffeejitters.net\/blog\/wp-content\/uploads\/2014\/09\/border-pink.png?resize=300%2C41 300w\" sizes=\"(max-width: 640px) 100vw, 640px\" \/><\/p>\n<p>You can find more on the <a title=\"How to Juggle Cancer and Parenting | CoffeeJitters.Net\" href=\"http:\/\/coffeejitters.net\/blog\/2014\/09\/juggle-cancer-parenting\/\">How to Juggle Cancer and Parenting Series<\/a> here:<\/p>\n<p><a href=\"http:\/\/coffeejitters.net\/blog\/2014\/09\/juggle-cancer-parenting\/\" rel=\"attachment wp-att-7029\"><img data-recalc-dims=\"1\" loading=\"lazy\" decoding=\"async\" data-attachment-id=\"7029\" data-permalink=\"http:\/\/coffeejitters.net\/blog\/2014\/09\/01\/juggle-cancer-parenting\/cancer-and-parenting\/\" data-orig-file=\"https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/coffeejitters.net\/blog\/wp-content\/uploads\/2014\/09\/cancer-and-parenting.png?fit=800%2C800\" data-orig-size=\"800,800\" data-comments-opened=\"1\" data-image-meta=\"{&quot;aperture&quot;:&quot;0&quot;,&quot;credit&quot;:&quot;&quot;,&quot;camera&quot;:&quot;&quot;,&quot;caption&quot;:&quot;&quot;,&quot;created_timestamp&quot;:&quot;0&quot;,&quot;copyright&quot;:&quot;&quot;,&quot;focal_length&quot;:&quot;0&quot;,&quot;iso&quot;:&quot;0&quot;,&quot;shutter_speed&quot;:&quot;0&quot;,&quot;title&quot;:&quot;&quot;}\" data-image-title=\"How to juggle cancer and parenting: a blog series with survivor interviews\" data-image-description=\"&lt;p&gt;How to juggle cancer and parenting: a blog series with survivor interviews&lt;\/p&gt;\n\" data-image-caption=\"\" data-large-file=\"https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/coffeejitters.net\/blog\/wp-content\/uploads\/2014\/09\/cancer-and-parenting.png?fit=640%2C640\" class=\"aligncenter size-thumbnail wp-image-7029\" src=\"https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/coffeejitters.net\/blog\/wp-content\/uploads\/2014\/09\/cancer-and-parenting.png?resize=150%2C150\" alt=\"manage cancer and parenting\" width=\"150\" height=\"150\" srcset=\"https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/coffeejitters.net\/blog\/wp-content\/uploads\/2014\/09\/cancer-and-parenting.png?resize=150%2C150 150w, https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/coffeejitters.net\/blog\/wp-content\/uploads\/2014\/09\/cancer-and-parenting.png?resize=300%2C300 300w, https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/coffeejitters.net\/blog\/wp-content\/uploads\/2014\/09\/cancer-and-parenting.png?resize=640%2C640 640w, https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/coffeejitters.net\/blog\/wp-content\/uploads\/2014\/09\/cancer-and-parenting.png?w=800 800w\" sizes=\"(max-width: 150px) 100vw, 150px\" \/><\/a><\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"<p>Just because you look ok on the outside- it doesn\u2019t mean you are ok on the inside. Cancer is not like strep. You are not better in 5 days. It can take awhile (even years) until you are ok.<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":1,"featured_media":7011,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"closed","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"_et_pb_use_builder":"","_et_pb_old_content":"","_et_gb_content_width":"","advanced_seo_description":"","jetpack_seo_html_title":"","jetpack_seo_noindex":false,"jetpack_post_was_ever_published":false,"_jetpack_newsletter_access":"","_jetpack_dont_email_post_to_subs":false,"_jetpack_newsletter_tier_id":0,"_jetpack_memberships_contains_paywalled_content":false,"_jetpack_memberships_contains_paid_content":false,"footnotes":"","jetpack_publicize_message":"","jetpack_publicize_feature_enabled":true,"jetpack_social_post_already_shared":false,"jetpack_social_options":{"image_generator_settings":{"template":"highway","default_image_id":0,"font":"","enabled":false},"version":2}},"categories":[834,1053,1058],"tags":[838,452,851,852,848,853,354,854],"class_list":["post-7008","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","has-post-thumbnail","hentry","category-how-to-juggle-cancer-and-parenting","category-parenting-with-cancer","category-kids-emotional-needs","tag-bilateral-mastectomy","tag-breast-cancer","tag-depression","tag-kids-age-11-15","tag-kids-age-5-6","tag-kids-age-7-10","tag-reconstruction","tag-stage-2-at-diagnosis","et-has-post-format-content","et_post_format-et-post-format-standard"],"jetpack_publicize_connections":[],"jetpack_featured_media_url":"https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/coffeejitters.net\/blog\/wp-content\/uploads\/2014\/08\/stephanie.png?fit=640%2C418","blog_post_layout_featured_media_urls":{"thumbnail":["https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/coffeejitters.net\/blog\/wp-content\/uploads\/2014\/08\/stephanie.png?resize=150%2C150",150,150,true],"full":["https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/coffeejitters.net\/blog\/wp-content\/uploads\/2014\/08\/stephanie.png?fit=640%2C418",640,418,false]},"categories_names":{"834":{"name":"How to Juggle Cancer and Parenting","link":"http:\/\/coffeejitters.net\/blog\/category\/parenting-with-cancer\/how-to-juggle-cancer-and-parenting\/"},"1053":{"name":"Parenting with Cancer","link":"http:\/\/coffeejitters.net\/blog\/category\/parenting-with-cancer\/"},"1058":{"name":"Your Kids' Emotional Needs","link":"http:\/\/coffeejitters.net\/blog\/category\/parenting-with-cancer\/kids-emotional-needs\/"}},"tags_names":{"838":{"name":"Bilateral Mastectomy","link":"http:\/\/coffeejitters.net\/blog\/tag\/bilateral-mastectomy\/"},"452":{"name":"breast cancer","link":"http:\/\/coffeejitters.net\/blog\/tag\/breast-cancer\/"},"851":{"name":"Depression","link":"http:\/\/coffeejitters.net\/blog\/tag\/depression\/"},"852":{"name":"kids age 11-15","link":"http:\/\/coffeejitters.net\/blog\/tag\/kids-age-11-15\/"},"848":{"name":"Kids age 5-6","link":"http:\/\/coffeejitters.net\/blog\/tag\/kids-age-5-6\/"},"853":{"name":"Kids age 7-10","link":"http:\/\/coffeejitters.net\/blog\/tag\/kids-age-7-10\/"},"354":{"name":"reconstruction","link":"http:\/\/coffeejitters.net\/blog\/tag\/reconstruction\/"},"854":{"name":"Stage 2 at Diagnosis","link":"http:\/\/coffeejitters.net\/blog\/tag\/stage-2-at-diagnosis\/"}},"comments_number":0,"wpmagazine_modules_lite_featured_media_urls":{"thumbnail":["https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/coffeejitters.net\/blog\/wp-content\/uploads\/2014\/08\/stephanie.png?resize=150%2C150",150,150,true],"cvmm-medium":["https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/coffeejitters.net\/blog\/wp-content\/uploads\/2014\/08\/stephanie.png?resize=300%2C300",300,300,true],"cvmm-medium-plus":["https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/coffeejitters.net\/blog\/wp-content\/uploads\/2014\/08\/stephanie.png?resize=305%2C207",305,207,true],"cvmm-portrait":["https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/coffeejitters.net\/blog\/wp-content\/uploads\/2014\/08\/stephanie.png?resize=400%2C418",400,418,true],"cvmm-medium-square":["https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/coffeejitters.net\/blog\/wp-content\/uploads\/2014\/08\/stephanie.png?resize=600%2C418",600,418,true],"cvmm-large":["https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/coffeejitters.net\/blog\/wp-content\/uploads\/2014\/08\/stephanie.png?resize=640%2C418",640,418,true],"cvmm-small":["https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/coffeejitters.net\/blog\/wp-content\/uploads\/2014\/08\/stephanie.png?resize=130%2C95",130,95,true],"full":["https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/coffeejitters.net\/blog\/wp-content\/uploads\/2014\/08\/stephanie.png?fit=640%2C418",640,418,false]},"jetpack_sharing_enabled":true,"jetpack_shortlink":"https:\/\/wp.me\/p1fDeG-1P2","jetpack-related-posts":[{"id":12681,"url":"http:\/\/coffeejitters.net\/blog\/2026\/03\/10\/16-year-cancerversary-and-finding-my-way-back-to-hope\/","url_meta":{"origin":7008,"position":0},"title":"16 Year Cancerversary, and finding my way back to hope","author":"Judy Schwartz Haley","date":"","format":false,"excerpt":"16 years ago, today, I got that call. The one where the doctor says, \"I'm sorry, it's cancer.\" That was the moment that turned my life upside down. Standing outside a coffee shop with the phone pressed against one ear, and my finger plugging the other ear because of traffic\u2026","rel":"","context":"In &quot;Cancer&quot;","block_context":{"text":"Cancer","link":"http:\/\/coffeejitters.net\/blog\/category\/cancer-2\/"},"img":{"alt_text":"","src":"https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/coffeejitters.net\/blog\/wp-content\/uploads\/2026\/03\/cancerversary-16.png?fit=1200%2C675&resize=350%2C200","width":350,"height":200,"srcset":"https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/coffeejitters.net\/blog\/wp-content\/uploads\/2026\/03\/cancerversary-16.png?fit=1200%2C675&resize=350%2C200 1x, https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/coffeejitters.net\/blog\/wp-content\/uploads\/2026\/03\/cancerversary-16.png?fit=1200%2C675&resize=525%2C300 1.5x, https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/coffeejitters.net\/blog\/wp-content\/uploads\/2026\/03\/cancerversary-16.png?fit=1200%2C675&resize=700%2C400 2x, https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/coffeejitters.net\/blog\/wp-content\/uploads\/2026\/03\/cancerversary-16.png?fit=1200%2C675&resize=1050%2C600 3x"},"classes":[]},{"id":4070,"url":"http:\/\/coffeejitters.net\/blog\/2013\/01\/15\/just-breathe\/","url_meta":{"origin":7008,"position":1},"title":"Just Breathe","author":"Judy Schwartz Haley","date":"","format":false,"excerpt":"Sometimes all we have left is our breath. Sometimes breath is all we need. One more breath, to take us to one more moment. Inhale. Exhale. Repeat.","rel":"","context":"In &quot;Best of CoffeeJitters&quot;","block_context":{"text":"Best of CoffeeJitters","link":"http:\/\/coffeejitters.net\/blog\/category\/best-of-coffeejitters\/"},"img":{"alt_text":"","src":"https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/coffeejitters.net\/blog\/wp-content\/uploads\/2013\/01\/just-breathe-3.png?fit=1200%2C675&resize=350%2C200","width":350,"height":200,"srcset":"https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/coffeejitters.net\/blog\/wp-content\/uploads\/2013\/01\/just-breathe-3.png?fit=1200%2C675&resize=350%2C200 1x, https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/coffeejitters.net\/blog\/wp-content\/uploads\/2013\/01\/just-breathe-3.png?fit=1200%2C675&resize=525%2C300 1.5x, https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/coffeejitters.net\/blog\/wp-content\/uploads\/2013\/01\/just-breathe-3.png?fit=1200%2C675&resize=700%2C400 2x, https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/coffeejitters.net\/blog\/wp-content\/uploads\/2013\/01\/just-breathe-3.png?fit=1200%2C675&resize=1050%2C600 3x"},"classes":[]},{"id":8317,"url":"http:\/\/coffeejitters.net\/blog\/2015\/02\/28\/listen-mother\/","url_meta":{"origin":7008,"position":2},"title":"Listen to Your Mother","author":"Judy Schwartz Haley","date":"","format":false,"excerpt":"I'm supposed to be on vacation right now. 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