{"id":3412,"date":"2012-02-06T23:46:34","date_gmt":"2012-02-07T06:46:34","guid":{"rendered":"http:\/\/coffeejitters.net\/blog\/?p=3412"},"modified":"2021-03-21T12:43:12","modified_gmt":"2021-03-21T19:43:12","slug":"why-mommy-susan-niebur","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"http:\/\/coffeejitters.net\/blog\/2012\/02\/06\/why-mommy-susan-niebur\/","title":{"rendered":"Why Mommy: remembering Susan Niebur"},"content":{"rendered":"<p>In the cold, dark, fear of 3 a.m., when the cancer patient is most alone, I found <a title=\"Toddler Planet\" href=\"http:\/\/toddlerplanet.wordpress.com\">ToddlerPlanet<\/a>, a blog written by cancer fighting <a title=\"Cancer Fighting Princess Warrior\" href=\"http:\/\/toddlerplanet.wordpress.com\/2011\/01\/22\/us-lucky\/\">princess warrior<\/a>, awesome mommy, and astrophysicist, Susan Niebur (also known as @whymommy).<a href=\"http:\/\/coffeejitters.net\/blog\/2012\/02\/why-mommy\/susan-niebur\/\" rel=\"attachment wp-att-6355\"><img data-recalc-dims=\"1\" loading=\"lazy\" decoding=\"async\" data-attachment-id=\"6355\" data-permalink=\"http:\/\/coffeejitters.net\/blog\/2012\/02\/06\/why-mommy-susan-niebur\/susan-niebur\/\" data-orig-file=\"https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/coffeejitters.net\/blog\/wp-content\/uploads\/2012\/02\/susan-niebur.jpg?fit=125%2C125\" data-orig-size=\"125,125\" data-comments-opened=\"1\" data-image-meta=\"{&quot;aperture&quot;:&quot;0&quot;,&quot;credit&quot;:&quot;&quot;,&quot;camera&quot;:&quot;&quot;,&quot;caption&quot;:&quot;&quot;,&quot;created_timestamp&quot;:&quot;0&quot;,&quot;copyright&quot;:&quot;&quot;,&quot;focal_length&quot;:&quot;0&quot;,&quot;iso&quot;:&quot;0&quot;,&quot;shutter_speed&quot;:&quot;0&quot;,&quot;title&quot;:&quot;&quot;}\" data-image-title=\"susan-niebur\" data-image-description=\"\" data-image-caption=\"\" data-large-file=\"https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/coffeejitters.net\/blog\/wp-content\/uploads\/2012\/02\/susan-niebur.jpg?fit=125%2C125\" class=\"alignright size-full wp-image-6355\" src=\"https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/coffeejitters.net\/blog\/wp-content\/uploads\/2012\/02\/susan-niebur.jpg?resize=125%2C125\" alt=\"Why Mommy Susan Niebur\" width=\"125\" height=\"125\"\/><\/a><\/p>\n<p>Days after my diagnosis, before I learned to reign in my imagination and to view Dr.Google for what it is, I found Susan&#8217;s blog. I read for hours: post after post, page after page. It seemed she was speaking directly to me, addressing my personal concerns about life, death, love, cancer, and most important to me at that moment, the well being of my child. &nbsp;No sensationalism, just an honest look at life and parenting as impacted by cancer.<\/p>\n<p>It would be difficult and frustrating, and at times, extremely painful, she seemed to say, but my days would still be full of love and joy, and I can still be an awesome mom, and my child can still be happy. I read those pages through tears; I was so relieved and hopeful. In the two years since then, we formed an internet friendship, tweeting and commenting on each other&#8217;s blog posts. The internet has made possible friendships between people who have never met.<\/p>\n<p>Who will never meet.<\/p>\n<p>Today I read her blog again through tears. <a href=\"http:\/\/toddlerplanet.wordpress.com\/2012\/02\/06\/goodbye\/\">Susan passed away today<\/a>. She touched so many lives, her husband and little boys, her friends and family, the science community, the blogging community, the cancer and health advocacy community&#8230; and me, a girl at a computer Seattle, whose life was blessed by knowing her, even though we never met.<\/p>\n<p>Is it just me, or does the moon seem to be a bit bigger and brighter tonight? I&#8217;m going to think of it as Susan&#8217;s moon.<\/p>\n<p>Thank you, Susan, for the love and hope and strength you shared with all of us.&nbsp;Godspeed.<\/p>\n<p><iframe loading=\"lazy\" src=\"http:\/\/www.youtube.com\/embed\/tnG5fxzYe6Q\" width=\"560\" height=\"315\" frameborder=\"0\"><\/iframe><\/p>\n<p>.<\/p>\n<p>You can learn more about my cancer story here:<\/p>\n<p style=\"text-align: center;\"><a href=\"http:\/\/coffeejitters.net\/blog\/2014\/04\/the-big-c-and-me-my-cancer-story\/\"><img data-recalc-dims=\"1\" loading=\"lazy\" decoding=\"async\" data-attachment-id=\"4957\" data-permalink=\"http:\/\/coffeejitters.net\/blog\/thebigcandme\/\" data-orig-file=\"https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/coffeejitters.net\/blog\/wp-content\/uploads\/2013\/07\/theBigCandMe.jpg?fit=1774%2C1774\" data-orig-size=\"1774,1774\" data-comments-opened=\"1\" data-image-meta=\"{&quot;aperture&quot;:&quot;0&quot;,&quot;credit&quot;:&quot;&quot;,&quot;camera&quot;:&quot;&quot;,&quot;caption&quot;:&quot;&quot;,&quot;created_timestamp&quot;:&quot;0&quot;,&quot;copyright&quot;:&quot;&quot;,&quot;focal_length&quot;:&quot;0&quot;,&quot;iso&quot;:&quot;0&quot;,&quot;shutter_speed&quot;:&quot;0&quot;,&quot;title&quot;:&quot;&quot;}\" data-image-title=\"theBigCandMe\" data-image-description=\"\" data-image-caption=\"\" data-large-file=\"https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/coffeejitters.net\/blog\/wp-content\/uploads\/2013\/07\/theBigCandMe.jpg?fit=640%2C640\" class=\"aligncenter size-thumbnail wp-image-4957\" title=\"my cancer story | Judy Schwartz Haley\" src=\"https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/coffeejitters.net\/blog\/wp-content\/uploads\/2013\/07\/theBigCandMe.jpg?resize=150%2C150\" alt=\"my cancer story | Judy Schwartz Haley\" width=\"150\" height=\"150\" srcset=\"https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/coffeejitters.net\/blog\/wp-content\/uploads\/2013\/07\/theBigCandMe.jpg?resize=150%2C150 150w, https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/coffeejitters.net\/blog\/wp-content\/uploads\/2013\/07\/theBigCandMe.jpg?resize=300%2C300 300w, https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/coffeejitters.net\/blog\/wp-content\/uploads\/2013\/07\/theBigCandMe.jpg?resize=640%2C640 640w, https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/coffeejitters.net\/blog\/wp-content\/uploads\/2013\/07\/theBigCandMe.jpg?w=1774 1774w\" sizes=\"(max-width: 150px) 100vw, 150px\" \/><\/a><\/p>\n<p>&nbsp;<\/p>\n<h2 style=\"text-align: center;\"><strong>Let&#8217;s Connect<\/strong><\/h2>\n<p style=\"text-align: center;\"><span style=\"color: #ffffff;\"><a href=\"http:\/\/feeds.feedburner.com\/CoffeeJitters\"><span style=\"color: #ffffff;\"><img data-recalc-dims=\"1\" decoding=\"async\" title=\"rss\" src=\"https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/coffeejitters.net\/blog\/wp-content\/uploads\/2012\/08\/rss.png?w=1080\" alt=\"\"\/><\/span><\/a> . <a href=\"https:\/\/www.facebook.com\/CoffeeJitters\"><span style=\"color: #ffffff;\"><img data-recalc-dims=\"1\" decoding=\"async\" title=\"facebook\" src=\"https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/coffeejitters.net\/blog\/wp-content\/uploads\/2012\/08\/facebook.png?w=1080\" alt=\"\"\/><\/span><\/a> . <a href=\"https:\/\/plus.google.com\/116051222560493413716\/posts\"><span style=\"color: #ffffff;\"><img data-recalc-dims=\"1\" decoding=\"async\" title=\"google+\" src=\"https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/coffeejitters.net\/blog\/wp-content\/uploads\/2012\/08\/googleplus.png?w=1080\" alt=\"\"\/><\/span><\/a> . <a href=\"mailto:judy.haley@gmail.com\"><span style=\"color: #ffffff;\"><img data-recalc-dims=\"1\" decoding=\"async\" title=\"email me\" src=\"https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/coffeejitters.net\/blog\/wp-content\/uploads\/2012\/08\/email.png?w=1080\" alt=\"\"\/><\/span><\/a> . <a href=\"https:\/\/twitter.com\/coffeejitters\"><span style=\"color: #ffffff;\"><img data-recalc-dims=\"1\" decoding=\"async\" title=\"twitter\" src=\"https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/coffeejitters.net\/blog\/wp-content\/uploads\/2012\/08\/twitter.png?w=1080\" alt=\"\"\/><\/span><\/a>&nbsp;.&nbsp;<a 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@whymommy).<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":1,"featured_media":6355,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"closed","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"_et_pb_use_builder":"","_et_pb_old_content":"","_et_gb_content_width":"","advanced_seo_description":"","jetpack_seo_html_title":"","jetpack_seo_noindex":false,"_jetpack_newsletter_access":"","_jetpack_dont_email_post_to_subs":false,"_jetpack_newsletter_tier_id":0,"_jetpack_memberships_contains_paywalled_content":false,"_jetpack_feature_clip_id":0,"_jetpack_memberships_contains_paid_content":false,"footnotes":"","jetpack_publicize_message":"","jetpack_publicize_feature_enabled":true,"jetpack_social_post_already_shared":false,"jetpack_social_options":{"image_generator_settings":{"template":"highway","default_image_id":0,"font":"","enabled":false},"version":2},"jetpack_post_was_ever_published":false},"categories":[1066,1064,1060,1053,1055,770],"tags":[300,459,288,604,182,671,348],"class_list":["post-3412","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","has-post-thumbnail","hentry","category-advocacy","category-metastatic-cancer","category-moms-with-cancer-community","category-parenting-with-cancer","category-talking-about-cancer","category-writing-blogging","tag-cancer","tag-death","tag-friendship","tag-in-memory","tag-internet","tag-life-lessons-2","tag-parenting-with-cancer","et-has-post-format-content","et_post_format-et-post-format-standard"],"jetpack_publicize_connections":[],"jetpack_featured_media_url":"https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/coffeejitters.net\/blog\/wp-content\/uploads\/2012\/02\/susan-niebur.jpg?fit=125%2C125","blog_post_layout_featured_media_urls":{"thumbnail":["https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/coffeejitters.net\/blog\/wp-content\/uploads\/2012\/02\/susan-niebur.jpg?resize=125%2C125",125,125,true],"full":["https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/coffeejitters.net\/blog\/wp-content\/uploads\/2012\/02\/susan-niebur.jpg?fit=125%2C125",125,125,false]},"categories_names":{"1066":{"name":"Advocacy","link":"http:\/\/coffeejitters.net\/blog\/category\/parenting-with-cancer\/advocacy\/"},"1064":{"name":"Metastatic 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Last Post","author":"Judy Schwartz Haley","date":"","format":false,"excerpt":"Saturday morning Punk Rock Mommy died from inflammatory breast cancer. Her husband uploaded her last post and I read it and cried. I never met Punk Rock Mommy, I had never read her blog before this morning. But I am struck by the human spirit and how impending death can\u2026","rel":"","context":"In &quot;Cancer&quot;","block_context":{"text":"Cancer","link":"http:\/\/coffeejitters.net\/blog\/category\/cancer-2\/"},"img":{"alt_text":"punk rock mommy","src":"https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/coffeejitters.net\/blog\/wp-content\/uploads\/2008\/07\/punk-rock-mommy.png?fit=800%2C800&resize=350%2C200","width":350,"height":200,"srcset":"https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/coffeejitters.net\/blog\/wp-content\/uploads\/2008\/07\/punk-rock-mommy.png?fit=800%2C800&resize=350%2C200 1x, https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/coffeejitters.net\/blog\/wp-content\/uploads\/2008\/07\/punk-rock-mommy.png?fit=800%2C800&resize=525%2C300 1.5x, https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/coffeejitters.net\/blog\/wp-content\/uploads\/2008\/07\/punk-rock-mommy.png?fit=800%2C800&resize=700%2C400 2x"},"classes":[]},{"id":172,"url":"http:\/\/coffeejitters.net\/blog\/2008\/04\/12\/sunset\/","url_meta":{"origin":3412,"position":1},"title":"Sunset","author":"Judy Schwartz Haley","date":"","format":false,"excerpt":"Sunset, originally uploaded by coffeejitters. The view from Mom's new apartment: sunset over Puget Sound with the Kingston Ferry.\u00a9 Copyright Judy Haley 2008. All rights reserved.","rel":"","context":"In &quot;Daily Life&quot;","block_context":{"text":"Daily Life","link":"http:\/\/coffeejitters.net\/blog\/category\/living-well\/daily-life-living-well\/"},"img":{"alt_text":"","src":"","width":0,"height":0},"classes":[]},{"id":282,"url":"http:\/\/coffeejitters.net\/blog\/2008\/07\/29\/lattes-and-lipstick-and-recipes-and-love\/","url_meta":{"origin":3412,"position":2},"title":"Lattes and Lipstick and Recipes and Love","author":"Judy Schwartz Haley","date":"","format":false,"excerpt":"Tricia at Shout brought this story to my attention and I want to repeat it here to do my part in helping spread the word.Gina of Lattes and Lipstick (which I'm adding to my rss reader right now) is raising money to pay for her husband's cancer treatment by compiling\u2026","rel":"","context":"In &quot;Causes &amp; Giving Back&quot;","block_context":{"text":"Causes &amp; Giving Back","link":"http:\/\/coffeejitters.net\/blog\/category\/life-skills\/causes\/"},"img":{"alt_text":"","src":"","width":0,"height":0},"classes":[]},{"id":142,"url":"http:\/\/coffeejitters.net\/blog\/2006\/10\/18\/the-c-word\/","url_meta":{"origin":3412,"position":3},"title":"the C-word","author":"Judy Schwartz Haley","date":"","format":false,"excerpt":"Two weeks ago my dad went in to surgery to remove his spleen because of a blood clot. when they got in there they saw that he had pancreatic cancer that had spread throughout his abdomen. they just closed him back up without even taking the spleen. they told us\u2026","rel":"","context":"In &quot;Cancer&quot;","block_context":{"text":"Cancer","link":"http:\/\/coffeejitters.net\/blog\/category\/cancer-2\/"},"img":{"alt_text":"coffeejitters border pink","src":"https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/coffeejitters.net\/blog\/wp-content\/uploads\/2014\/09\/border-pink.png?resize=350%2C200","width":350,"height":200,"srcset":"https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/coffeejitters.net\/blog\/wp-content\/uploads\/2014\/09\/border-pink.png?resize=350%2C200 1x, https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/coffeejitters.net\/blog\/wp-content\/uploads\/2014\/09\/border-pink.png?resize=525%2C300 1.5x"},"classes":[]},{"id":12681,"url":"http:\/\/coffeejitters.net\/blog\/2026\/03\/10\/16-year-cancerversary-and-finding-my-way-back-to-hope\/","url_meta":{"origin":3412,"position":4},"title":"16 Year Cancerversary, and finding my way back to hope","author":"Judy Schwartz Haley","date":"","format":false,"excerpt":"16 years ago, today, I got that call. The one where the doctor says, \"I'm sorry, it's cancer.\" That was the moment that turned my life upside down. Standing outside a coffee shop with the phone pressed against one ear, and my finger plugging the other ear because of traffic\u2026","rel":"","context":"In &quot;Cancer&quot;","block_context":{"text":"Cancer","link":"http:\/\/coffeejitters.net\/blog\/category\/cancer-2\/"},"img":{"alt_text":"","src":"https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/coffeejitters.net\/blog\/wp-content\/uploads\/2026\/03\/cancerversary-16.png?fit=1200%2C675&resize=350%2C200","width":350,"height":200,"srcset":"https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/coffeejitters.net\/blog\/wp-content\/uploads\/2026\/03\/cancerversary-16.png?fit=1200%2C675&resize=350%2C200 1x, https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/coffeejitters.net\/blog\/wp-content\/uploads\/2026\/03\/cancerversary-16.png?fit=1200%2C675&resize=525%2C300 1.5x, https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/coffeejitters.net\/blog\/wp-content\/uploads\/2026\/03\/cancerversary-16.png?fit=1200%2C675&resize=700%2C400 2x, https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/coffeejitters.net\/blog\/wp-content\/uploads\/2026\/03\/cancerversary-16.png?fit=1200%2C675&resize=1050%2C600 3x"},"classes":[]},{"id":195,"url":"http:\/\/coffeejitters.net\/blog\/2008\/05\/11\/my-mothers-gift\/","url_meta":{"origin":3412,"position":5},"title":"My Mother&#8217;s Gift","author":"Judy Schwartz Haley","date":"","format":false,"excerpt":"In 1991 my mom brought home Matt; I was not happy. Although I had moved out, I still had a room at the homestead - a room I needed to clear of my belongings so it could go to this new kid. But that's not the whole reason I was\u2026","rel":"","context":"In &quot;Inspiration&quot;","block_context":{"text":"Inspiration","link":"http:\/\/coffeejitters.net\/blog\/category\/life-skills\/inspiration-living-well\/"},"img":{"alt_text":"","src":"https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/coffeejitters.net\/blog\/wp-content\/uploads\/2008\/05\/485718849_df3156be91_z.jpg?resize=350%2C200","width":350,"height":200,"srcset":"https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/coffeejitters.net\/blog\/wp-content\/uploads\/2008\/05\/485718849_df3156be91_z.jpg?resize=350%2C200 1x, https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/coffeejitters.net\/blog\/wp-content\/uploads\/2008\/05\/485718849_df3156be91_z.jpg?resize=525%2C300 1.5x"},"classes":[]}],"jetpack_likes_enabled":false,"_links":{"self":[{"href":"http:\/\/coffeejitters.net\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/3412","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"http:\/\/coffeejitters.net\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"http:\/\/coffeejitters.net\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"http:\/\/coffeejitters.net\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/users\/1"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"http:\/\/coffeejitters.net\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/comments?post=3412"}],"version-history":[{"count":12,"href":"http:\/\/coffeejitters.net\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/3412\/revisions"}],"predecessor-version":[{"id":10071,"href":"http:\/\/coffeejitters.net\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/3412\/revisions\/10071"}],"wp:featuredmedia":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"http:\/\/coffeejitters.net\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media\/6355"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"http:\/\/coffeejitters.net\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media?parent=3412"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"http:\/\/coffeejitters.net\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/categories?post=3412"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"http:\/\/coffeejitters.net\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/tags?post=3412"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}