{"id":333,"date":"2008-10-23T12:09:00","date_gmt":"2008-10-23T19:09:00","guid":{"rendered":"http:\/\/coffeejitters.net\/blog\/?p=333"},"modified":"2015-02-19T22:44:26","modified_gmt":"2015-02-20T05:44:26","slug":"dont-step-on-my-catheter","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"http:\/\/coffeejitters.net\/blog\/2008\/10\/23\/dont-step-on-my-catheter\/","title":{"rendered":"Don’t Step on My Catheter"},"content":{"rendered":"

Don’t Step on My Catheter<\/strong>
\nby Michael H. Schwartz<\/p>\n

Don’t even think about treading on
\nThat tempting little hose of soft clear
\n…..<\/span> plastic lying on the floor
\nThere are plenty enough ways to
\nIncur my wrath without committing
\nThat most heinous act of barbarism.<\/p>\n

Mind your step, you fool, watch
\nWhere you put those uncoordinated
\n…..<\/span> blobs you call your feet.
\nIts not just the punishment
\nThat should prompt alertness on
\nYour part, nor even humanitarian<\/p>\n

Compassion to guide your steps aright.
\nBut think on this, the balance
\nOf all the laws of physics and the
\nCosmic glue that holds the
\nUniverse together, lie at risk<\/p>\n

Of total disintegration at
\nThe touch of toe on tube.<\/p><\/blockquote>\n

 <\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"

Don’t Step on My Catheter by Michael H. Schwartz Don’t even think about treading on That tempting little hose of soft clear ….. plastic lying on the floor There are plenty enough ways to Incur my wrath without committing That most heinous act of barbarism. Mind your step, you fool, watch Where you put those […]<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":1,"featured_media":8242,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"closed","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"_et_pb_use_builder":"","_et_pb_old_content":"","_et_gb_content_width":"","advanced_seo_description":"","jetpack_seo_html_title":"","jetpack_seo_noindex":false,"jetpack_post_was_ever_published":false,"_jetpack_newsletter_access":"","_jetpack_dont_email_post_to_subs":false,"_jetpack_newsletter_tier_id":0,"_jetpack_memberships_contains_paywalled_content":false,"_jetpack_memberships_contains_paid_content":false,"footnotes":"","jetpack_publicize_message":"","jetpack_publicize_feature_enabled":true,"jetpack_social_post_already_shared":false,"jetpack_social_options":{"image_generator_settings":{"template":"highway","default_image_id":0,"font":"","enabled":false},"version":2}},"categories":[761],"tags":[27,28,42,351,755,130],"class_list":["post-333","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","has-post-thumbnail","hentry","category-family-living-well","tag-dad","tag-extended-family","tag-funny","tag-life-is-what-happens-when-youre-making-other-plans","tag-michael-h-schwartz","tag-poetry","et-has-post-format-content","et_post_format-et-post-format-standard"],"jetpack_publicize_connections":[],"jetpack_featured_media_url":"https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/coffeejitters.net\/blog\/wp-content\/uploads\/2009\/07\/bird-3.png?fit=1774%2C1268","blog_post_layout_featured_media_urls":{"thumbnail":["https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/coffeejitters.net\/blog\/wp-content\/uploads\/2009\/07\/bird-3.png?resize=150%2C150",150,150,true],"full":["https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/coffeejitters.net\/blog\/wp-content\/uploads\/2009\/07\/bird-3.png?fit=1774%2C1268",1774,1268,false]},"categories_names":{"761":{"name":"Family","link":"http:\/\/coffeejitters.net\/blog\/category\/living-well\/family-living-well\/"}},"tags_names":{"27":{"name":"dad","link":"http:\/\/coffeejitters.net\/blog\/tag\/dad\/"},"28":{"name":"Extended Family","link":"http:\/\/coffeejitters.net\/blog\/tag\/extended-family\/"},"42":{"name":"funny","link":"http:\/\/coffeejitters.net\/blog\/tag\/funny\/"},"351":{"name":"life is what happens when you're making other plans","link":"http:\/\/coffeejitters.net\/blog\/tag\/life-is-what-happens-when-youre-making-other-plans\/"},"755":{"name":"Michael H Schwartz","link":"http:\/\/coffeejitters.net\/blog\/tag\/michael-h-schwartz\/"},"130":{"name":"Poetry","link":"http:\/\/coffeejitters.net\/blog\/tag\/poetry\/"}},"comments_number":0,"wpmagazine_modules_lite_featured_media_urls":{"thumbnail":["https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/coffeejitters.net\/blog\/wp-content\/uploads\/2009\/07\/bird-3.png?resize=150%2C150",150,150,true],"cvmm-medium":["https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/coffeejitters.net\/blog\/wp-content\/uploads\/2009\/07\/bird-3.png?resize=300%2C300",300,300,true],"cvmm-medium-plus":["https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/coffeejitters.net\/blog\/wp-content\/uploads\/2009\/07\/bird-3.png?resize=305%2C207",305,207,true],"cvmm-portrait":["https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/coffeejitters.net\/blog\/wp-content\/uploads\/2009\/07\/bird-3.png?resize=400%2C600",400,600,true],"cvmm-medium-square":["https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/coffeejitters.net\/blog\/wp-content\/uploads\/2009\/07\/bird-3.png?resize=600%2C600",600,600,true],"cvmm-large":["https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/coffeejitters.net\/blog\/wp-content\/uploads\/2009\/07\/bird-3.png?resize=1024%2C1024",1024,1024,true],"cvmm-small":["https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/coffeejitters.net\/blog\/wp-content\/uploads\/2009\/07\/bird-3.png?resize=130%2C95",130,95,true],"full":["https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/coffeejitters.net\/blog\/wp-content\/uploads\/2009\/07\/bird-3.png?fit=1774%2C1268",1774,1268,false]},"jetpack_sharing_enabled":true,"jetpack_shortlink":"https:\/\/wp.me\/p1fDeG-5n","jetpack-related-posts":[{"id":8364,"url":"http:\/\/coffeejitters.net\/blog\/2015\/05\/07\/what-your-mom-wants-for-mothers-day\/","url_meta":{"origin":333,"position":0},"title":"What your mom wants for Mothers Day","author":"Judy Schwartz Haley","date":"","format":false,"excerpt":"* She wants the handmade crafts - 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