{"id":2785,"date":"2011-03-19T16:53:03","date_gmt":"2011-03-19T23:53:03","guid":{"rendered":"http:\/\/coffeejitters.net\/blog\/?p=2785"},"modified":"2021-03-17T19:27:47","modified_gmt":"2021-03-18T02:27:47","slug":"not-now","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"http:\/\/coffeejitters.net\/blog\/2011\/03\/19\/not-now\/","title":{"rendered":"Not Now"},"content":{"rendered":"<p>I get so tired of New Age Gurus and other &#8220;Experts&#8221; telling me I have to focus on the present. My memories are a great source of joy; they also contain the lessons I&#8217;ve learned that make me who I am today. The future is my goal, it&#8217;s why I endure today.<\/p>\n<p><a href=\"https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/coffeejitters.net\/blog\/wp-content\/uploads\/2011\/03\/353.jpg\"><img data-recalc-dims=\"1\" loading=\"lazy\" decoding=\"async\" data-attachment-id=\"2786\" data-permalink=\"http:\/\/coffeejitters.net\/blog\/2011\/03\/19\/not-now\/353-2\/\" data-orig-file=\"https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/coffeejitters.net\/blog\/wp-content\/uploads\/2011\/03\/353.jpg?fit=2304%2C3072\" data-orig-size=\"2304,3072\" data-comments-opened=\"1\" data-image-meta=\"{&quot;aperture&quot;:&quot;4.5&quot;,&quot;credit&quot;:&quot;&quot;,&quot;camera&quot;:&quot;DMC-TZ3&quot;,&quot;caption&quot;:&quot;&quot;,&quot;created_timestamp&quot;:&quot;1296568664&quot;,&quot;copyright&quot;:&quot;&quot;,&quot;focal_length&quot;:&quot;11&quot;,&quot;iso&quot;:&quot;100&quot;,&quot;shutter_speed&quot;:&quot;0.016666666666667&quot;,&quot;title&quot;:&quot;&quot;}\" data-image-title=\"docked houseboats\" data-image-description=\"&lt;p&gt;houseboats on lake union in seattle&lt;\/p&gt;\n\" data-image-caption=\"\" data-large-file=\"https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/coffeejitters.net\/blog\/wp-content\/uploads\/2011\/03\/353.jpg?fit=640%2C853\" class=\"aligncenter wp-image-2786 size-large\" title=\"docked houseboats\" src=\"https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/coffeejitters.net\/blog\/wp-content\/uploads\/2011\/03\/353.jpg?resize=640%2C853\" alt=\"seattle houseboat community\" width=\"640\" height=\"853\" srcset=\"https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/coffeejitters.net\/blog\/wp-content\/uploads\/2011\/03\/353.jpg?resize=640%2C853 640w, https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/coffeejitters.net\/blog\/wp-content\/uploads\/2011\/03\/353.jpg?resize=300%2C400 300w, https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/coffeejitters.net\/blog\/wp-content\/uploads\/2011\/03\/353.jpg?w=2160 2160w\" sizes=\"(max-width: 640px) 100vw, 640px\" \/><\/a>Because, let&#8217;s face it: sometimes NOW sucks. Sometimes it&#8217;s downright unbearable.<\/p>\n<p>If I focused only on the present, I wouldn&#8217;t endure the hives that come with exercise. If now was all that mattered, I&#8217;d eat chocolate all day. I wouldn&#8217;t be taking classes required for graduation in subjects that don&#8217;t interest me. I wouldn&#8217;t have the goal of graduating. I&#8217;d never take the potential hangover into consideration when opening, or finishing, a bottle of wine. I&#8217;d spend my rent money on airfare to Hawaii, or France, or Greece.<\/p>\n<p>If I lived only for the moment, I wouldn&#8217;t have gone through chemotherapy.<\/p>\n<p>If I lived my life in the now, I likely wouldn&#8217;t have a family. My marriage started with the idea of the two of us spending the rest of our lives together. You have to look ahead to make those kinds of dreams. I would also be repeating the same mistakes over and over, because learning from those mistakes requires looking back.<\/p>\n<p>I realize that there may be a time at the end of life when now is all I have. I&#8217;ll take that when I get there. Until then, I will continue to enjoy my memories, and reach for my goals.<\/p>\n<p>I&#8217;m not opposed to embracing the moment. I&#8217;ve written about how my daughter gave me <a title=\"the gift of now\" href=\"http:\/\/coffeejitters.net\/blog\/2009\/09\/dear-gem-month-6\/\" target=\"_blank\" rel=\"noopener\">the gift of now<\/a>. It&#8217;s important to live in the present, but it has it&#8217;s time and place. We need a balance. Each moment of our lives must be informed by our past, and driven by our dreams and goals for the future. Otherwise we&#8217;re just stagnant hedonists, and that&#8217;s just pathetic.<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"<p>let&#8217;s face it: sometimes NOW sucks. Sometimes it&#8217;s downright unbearable. If I lived only for the moment, I wouldn&#8217;t have gone through chemotherapy.  If now was all that mattered, I&#8217;d eat chocolate all day.<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":1,"featured_media":2786,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"closed","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"_et_pb_use_builder":"","_et_pb_old_content":"","_et_gb_content_width":"","advanced_seo_description":"","jetpack_seo_html_title":"","jetpack_seo_noindex":false,"jetpack_seo_schema_type":"","_jetpack_newsletter_access":"","_jetpack_dont_email_post_to_subs":false,"_jetpack_newsletter_tier_id":0,"_jetpack_memberships_contains_paywalled_content":false,"_jetpack_feature_clip_id":0,"_jetpack_memberships_contains_paid_content":false,"footnotes":"","jetpack_publicize_message":"","jetpack_publicize_feature_enabled":true,"jetpack_social_post_already_shared":false,"jetpack_social_options":{"image_generator_settings":{"template":"highway","default_image_id":0,"font":"","enabled":false},"version":2},"jetpack_post_was_ever_published":false},"categories":[695,1043,1042],"tags":[480,479,671,478,680],"class_list":["post-2785","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","has-post-thumbnail","hentry","category-cancer-2","category-health-and-wellness","category-living-with-cancer","tag-dreams","tag-goals","tag-life-lessons-2","tag-now","tag-sanity-2","et-has-post-format-content","et_post_format-et-post-format-standard"],"jetpack_publicize_connections":[],"blog_post_layout_featured_media_urls":{"thumbnail":["https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/coffeejitters.net\/blog\/wp-content\/uploads\/2011\/03\/353.jpg?resize=150%2C150",150,150,true],"full":["https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/coffeejitters.net\/blog\/wp-content\/uploads\/2011\/03\/353.jpg?fit=2304%2C3072",2304,3072,false]},"categories_names":{"695":{"name":"Cancer","link":"http:\/\/coffeejitters.net\/blog\/category\/cancer-2\/"},"1043":{"name":"Health &amp; Wellness","link":"http:\/\/coffeejitters.net\/blog\/category\/life-skills\/health-and-wellness\/"},"1042":{"name":"Living with Cancer","link":"http:\/\/coffeejitters.net\/blog\/category\/parenting-with-cancer\/living-with-cancer\/"}},"tags_names":{"480":{"name":"dreams","link":"http:\/\/coffeejitters.net\/blog\/tag\/dreams\/"},"479":{"name":"goals","link":"http:\/\/coffeejitters.net\/blog\/tag\/goals\/"},"671":{"name":"life lessons","link":"http:\/\/coffeejitters.net\/blog\/tag\/life-lessons-2\/"},"478":{"name":"now","link":"http:\/\/coffeejitters.net\/blog\/tag\/now\/"},"680":{"name":"sanity","link":"http:\/\/coffeejitters.net\/blog\/tag\/sanity-2\/"}},"comments_number":0,"wpmagazine_modules_lite_featured_media_urls":{"thumbnail":["https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/coffeejitters.net\/blog\/wp-content\/uploads\/2011\/03\/353.jpg?resize=150%2C150",150,150,true],"cvmm-medium":["https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/coffeejitters.net\/blog\/wp-content\/uploads\/2011\/03\/353.jpg?resize=300%2C300",300,300,true],"cvmm-medium-plus":["https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/coffeejitters.net\/blog\/wp-content\/uploads\/2011\/03\/353.jpg?resize=305%2C207",305,207,true],"cvmm-portrait":["https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/coffeejitters.net\/blog\/wp-content\/uploads\/2011\/03\/353.jpg?resize=400%2C600",400,600,true],"cvmm-medium-square":["https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/coffeejitters.net\/blog\/wp-content\/uploads\/2011\/03\/353.jpg?resize=600%2C600",600,600,true],"cvmm-large":["https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/coffeejitters.net\/blog\/wp-content\/uploads\/2011\/03\/353.jpg?resize=1024%2C1024",1024,1024,true],"cvmm-small":["https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/coffeejitters.net\/blog\/wp-content\/uploads\/2011\/03\/353.jpg?resize=130%2C95",130,95,true],"full":["https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/coffeejitters.net\/blog\/wp-content\/uploads\/2011\/03\/353.jpg?fit=2304%2C3072",2304,3072,false]},"jetpack_sharing_enabled":true,"jetpack_shortlink":"https:\/\/wp.me\/p1fDeG-IV","jetpack-related-posts":[{"id":4070,"url":"http:\/\/coffeejitters.net\/blog\/2013\/01\/15\/just-breathe\/","url_meta":{"origin":2785,"position":0},"title":"Just Breathe","author":"Judy Schwartz Haley","date":"","format":false,"excerpt":"Sometimes all we have left is our breath. Sometimes breath is all we need. One more breath, to take us to one more moment. Inhale. Exhale. Repeat.","rel":"","context":"In &quot;Best of CoffeeJitters&quot;","block_context":{"text":"Best of CoffeeJitters","link":"http:\/\/coffeejitters.net\/blog\/category\/best-of-coffeejitters\/"},"img":{"alt_text":"","src":"https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/coffeejitters.net\/blog\/wp-content\/uploads\/2013\/01\/just-breathe-3.png?fit=1200%2C675&resize=350%2C200","width":350,"height":200,"srcset":"https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/coffeejitters.net\/blog\/wp-content\/uploads\/2013\/01\/just-breathe-3.png?fit=1200%2C675&resize=350%2C200 1x, https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/coffeejitters.net\/blog\/wp-content\/uploads\/2013\/01\/just-breathe-3.png?fit=1200%2C675&resize=525%2C300 1.5x, https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/coffeejitters.net\/blog\/wp-content\/uploads\/2013\/01\/just-breathe-3.png?fit=1200%2C675&resize=700%2C400 2x, https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/coffeejitters.net\/blog\/wp-content\/uploads\/2013\/01\/just-breathe-3.png?fit=1200%2C675&resize=1050%2C600 3x"},"classes":[]},{"id":12681,"url":"http:\/\/coffeejitters.net\/blog\/2026\/03\/10\/16-year-cancerversary-and-finding-my-way-back-to-hope\/","url_meta":{"origin":2785,"position":1},"title":"16 Year Cancerversary, and finding my way back to hope","author":"Judy Schwartz Haley","date":"","format":false,"excerpt":"16 years ago, today, I got that call. The one where the doctor says, \"I'm sorry, it's cancer.\" That was the moment that turned my life upside down. Standing outside a coffee shop with the phone pressed against one ear, and my finger plugging the other ear because of traffic\u2026","rel":"","context":"In &quot;Cancer&quot;","block_context":{"text":"Cancer","link":"http:\/\/coffeejitters.net\/blog\/category\/cancer-2\/"},"img":{"alt_text":"","src":"https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/coffeejitters.net\/blog\/wp-content\/uploads\/2026\/03\/cancerversary-16.png?fit=1200%2C675&resize=350%2C200","width":350,"height":200,"srcset":"https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/coffeejitters.net\/blog\/wp-content\/uploads\/2026\/03\/cancerversary-16.png?fit=1200%2C675&resize=350%2C200 1x, https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/coffeejitters.net\/blog\/wp-content\/uploads\/2026\/03\/cancerversary-16.png?fit=1200%2C675&resize=525%2C300 1.5x, https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/coffeejitters.net\/blog\/wp-content\/uploads\/2026\/03\/cancerversary-16.png?fit=1200%2C675&resize=700%2C400 2x, https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/coffeejitters.net\/blog\/wp-content\/uploads\/2026\/03\/cancerversary-16.png?fit=1200%2C675&resize=1050%2C600 3x"},"classes":[]},{"id":195,"url":"http:\/\/coffeejitters.net\/blog\/2008\/05\/11\/my-mothers-gift\/","url_meta":{"origin":2785,"position":2},"title":"My Mother&#8217;s Gift","author":"Judy Schwartz Haley","date":"","format":false,"excerpt":"In 1991 my mom brought home Matt; I was not happy. Although I had moved out, I still had a room at the homestead - a room I needed to clear of my belongings so it could go to this new kid. But that's not the whole reason I was\u2026","rel":"","context":"In &quot;Inspiration&quot;","block_context":{"text":"Inspiration","link":"http:\/\/coffeejitters.net\/blog\/category\/life-skills\/inspiration-living-well\/"},"img":{"alt_text":"","src":"https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/coffeejitters.net\/blog\/wp-content\/uploads\/2008\/05\/485718849_df3156be91_z.jpg?resize=350%2C200","width":350,"height":200,"srcset":"https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/coffeejitters.net\/blog\/wp-content\/uploads\/2008\/05\/485718849_df3156be91_z.jpg?resize=350%2C200 1x, https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/coffeejitters.net\/blog\/wp-content\/uploads\/2008\/05\/485718849_df3156be91_z.jpg?resize=525%2C300 1.5x"},"classes":[]},{"id":259,"url":"http:\/\/coffeejitters.net\/blog\/2008\/07\/10\/the-last-post\/","url_meta":{"origin":2785,"position":3},"title":"The Last Post","author":"Judy Schwartz Haley","date":"","format":false,"excerpt":"Saturday morning Punk Rock Mommy died from inflammatory breast cancer. Her husband uploaded her last post and I read it and cried. I never met Punk Rock Mommy, I had never read her blog before this morning. But I am struck by the human spirit and how impending death can\u2026","rel":"","context":"In &quot;Cancer&quot;","block_context":{"text":"Cancer","link":"http:\/\/coffeejitters.net\/blog\/category\/cancer-2\/"},"img":{"alt_text":"punk rock mommy","src":"https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/coffeejitters.net\/blog\/wp-content\/uploads\/2008\/07\/punk-rock-mommy.png?fit=800%2C800&resize=350%2C200","width":350,"height":200,"srcset":"https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/coffeejitters.net\/blog\/wp-content\/uploads\/2008\/07\/punk-rock-mommy.png?fit=800%2C800&resize=350%2C200 1x, https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/coffeejitters.net\/blog\/wp-content\/uploads\/2008\/07\/punk-rock-mommy.png?fit=800%2C800&resize=525%2C300 1.5x, https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/coffeejitters.net\/blog\/wp-content\/uploads\/2008\/07\/punk-rock-mommy.png?fit=800%2C800&resize=700%2C400 2x"},"classes":[]},{"id":327,"url":"http:\/\/coffeejitters.net\/blog\/2008\/10\/12\/most-like-an-arch-this-marriage\/","url_meta":{"origin":2785,"position":4},"title":"Most Like an Arch This Marriage","author":"Judy Schwartz Haley","date":"","format":false,"excerpt":"two weaknesses that lean into a strength. Two fallings become firm.","rel":"","context":"In &quot;Family&quot;","block_context":{"text":"Family","link":"http:\/\/coffeejitters.net\/blog\/category\/living-well\/family-living-well\/"},"img":{"alt_text":"marriage","src":"https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/coffeejitters.net\/blog\/wp-content\/uploads\/2010\/09\/751167469_c1c004fe5b_o.jpg?fit=1200%2C799&resize=350%2C200","width":350,"height":200,"srcset":"https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/coffeejitters.net\/blog\/wp-content\/uploads\/2010\/09\/751167469_c1c004fe5b_o.jpg?fit=1200%2C799&resize=350%2C200 1x, https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/coffeejitters.net\/blog\/wp-content\/uploads\/2010\/09\/751167469_c1c004fe5b_o.jpg?fit=1200%2C799&resize=525%2C300 1.5x, https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/coffeejitters.net\/blog\/wp-content\/uploads\/2010\/09\/751167469_c1c004fe5b_o.jpg?fit=1200%2C799&resize=700%2C400 2x, https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/coffeejitters.net\/blog\/wp-content\/uploads\/2010\/09\/751167469_c1c004fe5b_o.jpg?fit=1200%2C799&resize=1050%2C600 3x"},"classes":[]},{"id":309,"url":"http:\/\/coffeejitters.net\/blog\/2008\/09\/10\/what-does-it-mean-to-vote-present\/","url_meta":{"origin":2785,"position":5},"title":"What does it mean to vote &quot;Present&quot;","author":"Judy Schwartz Haley","date":"","format":false,"excerpt":"Last week at the Republican National Convention, Republican leaders mentioned over and over and over again that Senator Barack Obama had voted \"present\" on several occasions. The inference of the statement by the Republican leadership was that Senator Obama had voted \"present\" in order to avoid taking a stand on\u2026","rel":"","context":"In &quot;Daily Life&quot;","block_context":{"text":"Daily Life","link":"http:\/\/coffeejitters.net\/blog\/category\/living-well\/daily-life-living-well\/"},"img":{"alt_text":"","src":"","width":0,"height":0},"classes":[]}],"jetpack_likes_enabled":false,"jetpack_featured_media_url":"https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/coffeejitters.net\/blog\/wp-content\/uploads\/2011\/03\/353.jpg?fit=2304%2C3072","_links":{"self":[{"href":"http:\/\/coffeejitters.net\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/2785","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"http:\/\/coffeejitters.net\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"http:\/\/coffeejitters.net\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"http:\/\/coffeejitters.net\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/users\/1"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"http:\/\/coffeejitters.net\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/comments?post=2785"}],"version-history":[{"count":5,"href":"http:\/\/coffeejitters.net\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/2785\/revisions"}],"predecessor-version":[{"id":9906,"href":"http:\/\/coffeejitters.net\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/2785\/revisions\/9906"}],"wp:featuredmedia":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"http:\/\/coffeejitters.net\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media\/2786"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"http:\/\/coffeejitters.net\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media?parent=2785"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"http:\/\/coffeejitters.net\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/categories?post=2785"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"http:\/\/coffeejitters.net\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/tags?post=2785"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}