{"id":2785,"date":"2011-03-19T16:53:03","date_gmt":"2011-03-19T23:53:03","guid":{"rendered":"http:\/\/coffeejitters.net\/blog\/?p=2785"},"modified":"2021-03-17T19:27:47","modified_gmt":"2021-03-18T02:27:47","slug":"not-now","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"http:\/\/coffeejitters.net\/blog\/2011\/03\/19\/not-now\/","title":{"rendered":"Not Now"},"content":{"rendered":"<p>I get so tired of New Age Gurus and other &#8220;Experts&#8221; telling me I have to focus on the present. My memories are a great source of joy; they also contain the lessons I&#8217;ve learned that make me who I am today. The future is my goal, it&#8217;s why I endure today.<\/p>\n<p><a href=\"https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/coffeejitters.net\/blog\/wp-content\/uploads\/2011\/03\/353.jpg\"><img data-recalc-dims=\"1\" loading=\"lazy\" decoding=\"async\" data-attachment-id=\"2786\" data-permalink=\"http:\/\/coffeejitters.net\/blog\/2011\/03\/19\/not-now\/353-2\/\" data-orig-file=\"https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/coffeejitters.net\/blog\/wp-content\/uploads\/2011\/03\/353.jpg?fit=2304%2C3072\" data-orig-size=\"2304,3072\" data-comments-opened=\"1\" data-image-meta=\"{&quot;aperture&quot;:&quot;4.5&quot;,&quot;credit&quot;:&quot;&quot;,&quot;camera&quot;:&quot;DMC-TZ3&quot;,&quot;caption&quot;:&quot;&quot;,&quot;created_timestamp&quot;:&quot;1296568664&quot;,&quot;copyright&quot;:&quot;&quot;,&quot;focal_length&quot;:&quot;11&quot;,&quot;iso&quot;:&quot;100&quot;,&quot;shutter_speed&quot;:&quot;0.016666666666667&quot;,&quot;title&quot;:&quot;&quot;}\" data-image-title=\"docked houseboats\" data-image-description=\"&lt;p&gt;houseboats on lake union in seattle&lt;\/p&gt;\n\" data-image-caption=\"\" data-large-file=\"https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/coffeejitters.net\/blog\/wp-content\/uploads\/2011\/03\/353.jpg?fit=640%2C853\" class=\"aligncenter wp-image-2786 size-large\" title=\"docked houseboats\" src=\"https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/coffeejitters.net\/blog\/wp-content\/uploads\/2011\/03\/353.jpg?resize=640%2C853\" alt=\"seattle houseboat community\" width=\"640\" height=\"853\" srcset=\"https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/coffeejitters.net\/blog\/wp-content\/uploads\/2011\/03\/353.jpg?resize=640%2C853 640w, https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/coffeejitters.net\/blog\/wp-content\/uploads\/2011\/03\/353.jpg?resize=300%2C400 300w, https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/coffeejitters.net\/blog\/wp-content\/uploads\/2011\/03\/353.jpg?w=2160 2160w\" sizes=\"(max-width: 640px) 100vw, 640px\" \/><\/a>Because, let&#8217;s face it: sometimes NOW sucks. Sometimes it&#8217;s downright unbearable.<\/p>\n<p>If I focused only on the present, I wouldn&#8217;t endure the hives that come with exercise. If now was all that mattered, I&#8217;d eat chocolate all day. I wouldn&#8217;t be taking classes required for graduation in subjects that don&#8217;t interest me. I wouldn&#8217;t have the goal of graduating. I&#8217;d never take the potential hangover into consideration when opening, or finishing, a bottle of wine. I&#8217;d spend my rent money on airfare to Hawaii, or France, or Greece.<\/p>\n<p>If I lived only for the moment, I wouldn&#8217;t have gone through chemotherapy.<\/p>\n<p>If I lived my life in the now, I likely wouldn&#8217;t have a family. My marriage started with the idea of the two of us spending the rest of our lives together. You have to look ahead to make those kinds of dreams. I would also be repeating the same mistakes over and over, because learning from those mistakes requires looking back.<\/p>\n<p>I realize that there may be a time at the end of life when now is all I have. I&#8217;ll take that when I get there. Until then, I will continue to enjoy my memories, and reach for my goals.<\/p>\n<p>I&#8217;m not opposed to embracing the moment. I&#8217;ve written about how my daughter gave me <a title=\"the gift of now\" href=\"http:\/\/coffeejitters.net\/blog\/2009\/09\/dear-gem-month-6\/\" target=\"_blank\" rel=\"noopener\">the gift of now<\/a>. It&#8217;s important to live in the present, but it has it&#8217;s time and place. We need a balance. Each moment of our lives must be informed by our past, and driven by our dreams and goals for the future. Otherwise we&#8217;re just stagnant hedonists, and that&#8217;s just pathetic.<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"<p>let&#8217;s face it: sometimes NOW sucks. Sometimes it&#8217;s downright unbearable. If I lived only for the moment, I wouldn&#8217;t have gone through chemotherapy.  If now was all that mattered, I&#8217;d eat chocolate all day.<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":1,"featured_media":2786,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"closed","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"_et_pb_use_builder":"","_et_pb_old_content":"","_et_gb_content_width":"","advanced_seo_description":"","jetpack_seo_html_title":"","jetpack_seo_noindex":false,"jetpack_post_was_ever_published":false,"_jetpack_newsletter_access":"","_jetpack_dont_email_post_to_subs":false,"_jetpack_newsletter_tier_id":0,"_jetpack_memberships_contains_paywalled_content":false,"_jetpack_memberships_contains_paid_content":false,"footnotes":"","jetpack_publicize_message":"","jetpack_publicize_feature_enabled":true,"jetpack_social_post_already_shared":false,"jetpack_social_options":{"image_generator_settings":{"template":"highway","default_image_id":0,"font":"","enabled":false},"version":2}},"categories":[695,1043,1042],"tags":[480,479,671,478,680],"class_list":["post-2785","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","has-post-thumbnail","hentry","category-cancer-2","category-health-and-wellness","category-living-with-cancer","tag-dreams","tag-goals","tag-life-lessons-2","tag-now","tag-sanity-2","et-has-post-format-content","et_post_format-et-post-format-standard"],"jetpack_publicize_connections":[],"jetpack_featured_media_url":"https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/coffeejitters.net\/blog\/wp-content\/uploads\/2011\/03\/353.jpg?fit=2304%2C3072","blog_post_layout_featured_media_urls":{"thumbnail":["https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/coffeejitters.net\/blog\/wp-content\/uploads\/2011\/03\/353.jpg?resize=150%2C150",150,150,true],"full":["https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/coffeejitters.net\/blog\/wp-content\/uploads\/2011\/03\/353.jpg?fit=2304%2C3072",2304,3072,false]},"categories_names":{"695":{"name":"Cancer","link":"http:\/\/coffeejitters.net\/blog\/category\/cancer-2\/"},"1043":{"name":"Health &amp; Wellness","link":"http:\/\/coffeejitters.net\/blog\/category\/life-skills\/health-and-wellness\/"},"1042":{"name":"Living with Cancer","link":"http:\/\/coffeejitters.net\/blog\/category\/parenting-with-cancer\/living-with-cancer\/"}},"tags_names":{"480":{"name":"dreams","link":"http:\/\/coffeejitters.net\/blog\/tag\/dreams\/"},"479":{"name":"goals","link":"http:\/\/coffeejitters.net\/blog\/tag\/goals\/"},"671":{"name":"life lessons","link":"http:\/\/coffeejitters.net\/blog\/tag\/life-lessons-2\/"},"478":{"name":"now","link":"http:\/\/coffeejitters.net\/blog\/tag\/now\/"},"680":{"name":"sanity","link":"http:\/\/coffeejitters.net\/blog\/tag\/sanity-2\/"}},"comments_number":0,"wpmagazine_modules_lite_featured_media_urls":{"thumbnail":["https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/coffeejitters.net\/blog\/wp-content\/uploads\/2011\/03\/353.jpg?resize=150%2C150",150,150,true],"cvmm-medium":["https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/coffeejitters.net\/blog\/wp-content\/uploads\/2011\/03\/353.jpg?resize=300%2C300",300,300,true],"cvmm-medium-plus":["https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/coffeejitters.net\/blog\/wp-content\/uploads\/2011\/03\/353.jpg?resize=305%2C207",305,207,true],"cvmm-portrait":["https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/coffeejitters.net\/blog\/wp-content\/uploads\/2011\/03\/353.jpg?resize=400%2C600",400,600,true],"cvmm-medium-square":["https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/coffeejitters.net\/blog\/wp-content\/uploads\/2011\/03\/353.jpg?resize=600%2C600",600,600,true],"cvmm-large":["https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/coffeejitters.net\/blog\/wp-content\/uploads\/2011\/03\/353.jpg?resize=1024%2C1024",1024,1024,true],"cvmm-small":["https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/coffeejitters.net\/blog\/wp-content\/uploads\/2011\/03\/353.jpg?resize=130%2C95",130,95,true],"full":["https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/coffeejitters.net\/blog\/wp-content\/uploads\/2011\/03\/353.jpg?fit=2304%2C3072",2304,3072,false]},"jetpack_sharing_enabled":true,"jetpack_shortlink":"https:\/\/wp.me\/p1fDeG-IV","jetpack-related-posts":[{"id":4070,"url":"http:\/\/coffeejitters.net\/blog\/2013\/01\/15\/just-breathe\/","url_meta":{"origin":2785,"position":0},"title":"Just Breathe","author":"Judy Schwartz Haley","date":"","format":false,"excerpt":"Sometimes all we have left is our breath. Sometimes breath is all we need. One more breath, to take us to one more moment. Inhale. Exhale. Repeat.","rel":"","context":"In &quot;Best of CoffeeJitters&quot;","block_context":{"text":"Best of CoffeeJitters","link":"http:\/\/coffeejitters.net\/blog\/category\/best-of-coffeejitters\/"},"img":{"alt_text":"","src":"https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/coffeejitters.net\/blog\/wp-content\/uploads\/2013\/01\/just-breathe-3.png?fit=1200%2C675&resize=350%2C200","width":350,"height":200,"srcset":"https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/coffeejitters.net\/blog\/wp-content\/uploads\/2013\/01\/just-breathe-3.png?fit=1200%2C675&resize=350%2C200 1x, https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/coffeejitters.net\/blog\/wp-content\/uploads\/2013\/01\/just-breathe-3.png?fit=1200%2C675&resize=525%2C300 1.5x, https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/coffeejitters.net\/blog\/wp-content\/uploads\/2013\/01\/just-breathe-3.png?fit=1200%2C675&resize=700%2C400 2x, https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/coffeejitters.net\/blog\/wp-content\/uploads\/2013\/01\/just-breathe-3.png?fit=1200%2C675&resize=1050%2C600 3x"},"classes":[]},{"id":12681,"url":"http:\/\/coffeejitters.net\/blog\/2026\/03\/10\/16-year-cancerversary-and-finding-my-way-back-to-hope\/","url_meta":{"origin":2785,"position":1},"title":"16 Year Cancerversary, and finding my way back to hope","author":"Judy Schwartz Haley","date":"","format":false,"excerpt":"16 years ago, today, I got that call. 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Standing outside a coffee shop with the phone pressed against one ear, and my finger plugging the other ear because of traffic\u2026","rel":"","context":"In &quot;Cancer&quot;","block_context":{"text":"Cancer","link":"http:\/\/coffeejitters.net\/blog\/category\/cancer-2\/"},"img":{"alt_text":"","src":"https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/coffeejitters.net\/blog\/wp-content\/uploads\/2026\/03\/cancerversary-16.png?fit=1200%2C675&resize=350%2C200","width":350,"height":200,"srcset":"https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/coffeejitters.net\/blog\/wp-content\/uploads\/2026\/03\/cancerversary-16.png?fit=1200%2C675&resize=350%2C200 1x, https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/coffeejitters.net\/blog\/wp-content\/uploads\/2026\/03\/cancerversary-16.png?fit=1200%2C675&resize=525%2C300 1.5x, https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/coffeejitters.net\/blog\/wp-content\/uploads\/2026\/03\/cancerversary-16.png?fit=1200%2C675&resize=700%2C400 2x, https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/coffeejitters.net\/blog\/wp-content\/uploads\/2026\/03\/cancerversary-16.png?fit=1200%2C675&resize=1050%2C600 3x"},"classes":[]},{"id":9230,"url":"http:\/\/coffeejitters.net\/blog\/2020\/12\/20\/a-fresh-start-for-the-new-year\/","url_meta":{"origin":2785,"position":2},"title":"A Fresh Start for the New Year: Are You Ready to Turn the Page on 2020?","author":"Judy Schwartz Haley","date":"","format":false,"excerpt":"the year is almost over. It's time for a new year. A new page. We will still have the same problems once the bell tolls us into 2021, but we can stop, take a breath, hit reset, and then tackle the new year with a plan. 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