{"id":2587,"date":"2011-01-21T19:10:46","date_gmt":"2011-01-22T02:10:46","guid":{"rendered":"http:\/\/coffeejitters.net\/blog\/?p=2587"},"modified":"2015-02-18T23:03:44","modified_gmt":"2015-02-19T06:03:44","slug":"three-year-old-beats-breast-cancer","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"http:\/\/coffeejitters.net\/blog\/2011\/01\/21\/three-year-old-beats-breast-cancer\/","title":{"rendered":"Three-Year-Old Beats Breast Cancer, Causes Me to Think"},"content":{"rendered":"<p>This morning I heard the story of <a title=\"Aleisha Hunter\" href=\"http:\/\/www.aolhealth.com\/2011\/01\/20\/toddler-aleisha-hunter-among-youngest-to-survive-breast-cancer\/\" target=\"_blank\">Aleisha Hunter<\/a>, who was diagnosed with Breast Cancer when she was three years old. I had to rush right home to hug my baby.<\/p>\n<p><object id=\"AOLVP_us_756100812001\" width=\"415\" height=\"311\" classid=\"clsid:D27CDB6E-AE6D-11cf-96B8-444553540000\"><param name=\"movie\" value=\"http:\/\/o.aolcdn.com\/videoplayer\/AOL_PlayerLoader.swf\" \/><param name=\"bgcolor\" value=\"#000000\" \/><param name=\"allowFullScreen\" value=\"true\" \/><param name=\"wmode\" value=\"transparent\" \/><param name=\"allowscriptaccess\" value=\"always\" \/><param name=\"flashvars\" value=\"codever=1&amp;stillurl=http%3A%2F%2Fpdl%2Estream%2Eaol%2Ecom%2Fpdlext%2Faol%2Fbrightcove%2Faolmaster%2F1612833736%2F1612833736%5F756127924001%5Fari%2Dorigin07%2Darc%2D197%2D1295537921068%2Ejpg%3FpubId%3D1612833736&amp;playerid=90128453001&amp;publisherid=1612833736&amp;videoid=756100812001\" \/><\/object><\/p>\n<p>When I was diagnosed with breast cancer, I understood that my daughter&#8217;s risk for developing cancer was increased, but it didn&#8217;t occur to me that she could develop it as a toddler.<\/p>\n<p>That&#8217;s an odd thing for me to say; since my diagnosis, I have been drumming in to my friends and neighbors, and everyone with whom I interact online, that no one is too young to get breast cancer. I tell people not to let a doctor, or anyone else, be dismissive of a breast lump or discomfort, or suggest it couldn&#8217;t be cancer because of your age. It was easy for me to say a 20-year-old is not too young to get breast cancer, but my mind did not allow me to extend that caution to toddlers.<\/p>\n<p>I spend a lot of time thinking about this diagnosis and how to manage the fear, particularly in reference to my daughter. How do I teach her to live her life at full speed, while still teaching her to take care. I don&#8217;t want to teach her to be fearful; I don&#8217;t want her to live a life of timidity and fear. On the other hand, I don&#8217;t want her to be dismissive of danger. Where do you find that balance? I have thought about teaching her to do breast exams, but the time frame I had in mind was a whole lot closer to puberty. Actually, that probably still wont change. But I want to find ways of discussing breast cancer and breast exams, not as a way of looking for a monster that is to be feared, but just a part of self care, like putting on a seat belt when you get in the car, not an anxious event, but one you wouldn&#8217;t overlook either.<\/p>\n<p>But, as in other aspects of parenting, I think the best way to teach her to not let fear take control, to teach her to balance boldness with prudence, is to be a good example.<\/p>\n<p>Hmmm&#8230;.<\/p>\n<p>I&#8217;m nearly done with treatment. I have two weeks left of radiation and then six months herceptin and then I just get on with my life, hoping the beast does not return. I can&#8217;t say it will be back to life as usual, because post-cancer life involves a bit of looking back over your shoulder. Post-cancer life means scans every six months to see if the cancer is regrouping for another attack. Post-cancer life means every ache and pain takes on a new meaning, it means asking &#8220;Am I being a hypochondriac, or would ignoring this ache be irresponsible?&#8221; It means paying extra attention to what lawmakers are doing &#8211; will their actions restrict my access to insurance or health care? Heightened awareness is a necessity. The trick, it seems, is to find a way to prevent that focus and attention from becoming a fixation and translating into fear.<\/p>\n<p>And I&#8217;ve got to figure this out quick, because I have a little girl watching my every move.<\/p>\n<p>My heart goes out to Aleisha, and her family. She underwent a full mastectomy, inluding lymph node disection, and is expected to make a full recovery. Thinking ahead to those awkward years of puberty and breast development, I hope she is able to develop and maintain a strong and healthy body image, and that she too finds a way to balance boldness with prudence.<\/p>\n<p>I also hope that by spreading this story we can help save more lives. Breast cancer is not a disease of the aged, it can strike at any time. Please check your boobies.<\/p>\n<p><a href=\"http:\/\/coffeejitters.net\/blog\/2009\/07\/pnw-highland-games-2009\/bird-3\/\" rel=\"attachment wp-att-8242\"><img data-recalc-dims=\"1\" loading=\"lazy\" decoding=\"async\" data-attachment-id=\"8242\" data-permalink=\"http:\/\/coffeejitters.net\/blog\/2009\/07\/28\/pnw-highland-games-2009\/bird-3\/\" data-orig-file=\"https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/coffeejitters.net\/blog\/wp-content\/uploads\/2009\/07\/bird-3.png?fit=1774%2C1268\" data-orig-size=\"1774,1268\" data-comments-opened=\"1\" data-image-meta=\"{&quot;aperture&quot;:&quot;0&quot;,&quot;credit&quot;:&quot;&quot;,&quot;camera&quot;:&quot;&quot;,&quot;caption&quot;:&quot;&quot;,&quot;created_timestamp&quot;:&quot;0&quot;,&quot;copyright&quot;:&quot;&quot;,&quot;focal_length&quot;:&quot;0&quot;,&quot;iso&quot;:&quot;0&quot;,&quot;shutter_speed&quot;:&quot;0&quot;,&quot;title&quot;:&quot;&quot;,&quot;orientation&quot;:&quot;0&quot;}\" data-image-title=\"bird-3\" data-image-description=\"\" data-image-caption=\"\" data-large-file=\"https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/coffeejitters.net\/blog\/wp-content\/uploads\/2009\/07\/bird-3.png?fit=640%2C457\" class=\"alignleft size-medium wp-image-8242\" src=\"https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/coffeejitters.net\/blog\/wp-content\/uploads\/2009\/07\/bird-3.png?resize=300%2C214\" alt=\"bird-3\" width=\"300\" height=\"214\" srcset=\"https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/coffeejitters.net\/blog\/wp-content\/uploads\/2009\/07\/bird-3.png?resize=300%2C214 300w, https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/coffeejitters.net\/blog\/wp-content\/uploads\/2009\/07\/bird-3.png?resize=640%2C457 640w, https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/coffeejitters.net\/blog\/wp-content\/uploads\/2009\/07\/bird-3.png?resize=106%2C75 106w, https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/coffeejitters.net\/blog\/wp-content\/uploads\/2009\/07\/bird-3.png?resize=82%2C57 82w, https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/coffeejitters.net\/blog\/wp-content\/uploads\/2009\/07\/bird-3.png?w=1774 1774w\" sizes=\"(max-width: 300px) 100vw, 300px\" \/><\/a><\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"<p>I spend a lot of time thinking about this diagnosis and how to manage the fear, particularly in reference to my daughter. How do I teach her to live her life at full speed, while still teaching her to take care. I don&#8217;t want to teach her to be fearful; I don&#8217;t want her to live a life of timidity and fear. On the other hand, I don&#8217;t want her to be dismissive of danger. Where do you find that balance?<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":1,"featured_media":8242,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"closed","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"_et_pb_use_builder":"","_et_pb_old_content":"","_et_gb_content_width":"","advanced_seo_description":"","jetpack_seo_html_title":"","jetpack_seo_noindex":false,"jetpack_post_was_ever_published":false,"_jetpack_newsletter_access":"","_jetpack_dont_email_post_to_subs":false,"_jetpack_newsletter_tier_id":0,"_jetpack_memberships_contains_paywalled_content":false,"_jetpack_memberships_contains_paid_content":false,"footnotes":"","jetpack_publicize_message":"","jetpack_publicize_feature_enabled":true,"jetpack_social_post_already_shared":false,"jetpack_social_options":{"image_generator_settings":{"template":"highway","default_image_id":0,"font":"","enabled":false},"version":2}},"categories":[695,138],"tags":[350,591,890,373,272,353,348],"class_list":["post-2587","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","has-post-thumbnail","hentry","category-cancer-2","category-parenting-living-well","tag-breast-cancer-under-40","tag-childhood-2","tag-life","tag-fear","tag-gem","tag-not-just-surviving-but-thriving","tag-parenting-with-cancer","et-has-post-format-content","et_post_format-et-post-format-standard"],"jetpack_publicize_connections":[],"jetpack_featured_media_url":"https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/coffeejitters.net\/blog\/wp-content\/uploads\/2009\/07\/bird-3.png?fit=1774%2C1268","blog_post_layout_featured_media_urls":{"thumbnail":["https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/coffeejitters.net\/blog\/wp-content\/uploads\/2009\/07\/bird-3.png?resize=150%2C150",150,150,true],"full":["https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/coffeejitters.net\/blog\/wp-content\/uploads\/2009\/07\/bird-3.png?fit=1774%2C1268",1774,1268,false]},"categories_names":{"695":{"name":"Cancer","link":"http:\/\/coffeejitters.net\/blog\/category\/cancer-2\/"},"138":{"name":"Parenting &amp; Family","link":"http:\/\/coffeejitters.net\/blog\/category\/parenting-living-well\/"}},"tags_names":{"350":{"name":"breast cancer under 40","link":"http:\/\/coffeejitters.net\/blog\/tag\/breast-cancer-under-40\/"},"591":{"name":"childhood","link":"http:\/\/coffeejitters.net\/blog\/tag\/childhood-2\/"},"890":{"name":"Daily Life","link":"http:\/\/coffeejitters.net\/blog\/tag\/life\/"},"373":{"name":"fear","link":"http:\/\/coffeejitters.net\/blog\/tag\/fear\/"},"272":{"name":"gem","link":"http:\/\/coffeejitters.net\/blog\/tag\/gem\/"},"353":{"name":"not just surviving but thriving","link":"http:\/\/coffeejitters.net\/blog\/tag\/not-just-surviving-but-thriving\/"},"348":{"name":"parenting with cancer","link":"http:\/\/coffeejitters.net\/blog\/tag\/parenting-with-cancer\/"}},"comments_number":0,"wpmagazine_modules_lite_featured_media_urls":{"thumbnail":["https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/coffeejitters.net\/blog\/wp-content\/uploads\/2009\/07\/bird-3.png?resize=150%2C150",150,150,true],"cvmm-medium":["https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/coffeejitters.net\/blog\/wp-content\/uploads\/2009\/07\/bird-3.png?resize=300%2C300",300,300,true],"cvmm-medium-plus":["https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/coffeejitters.net\/blog\/wp-content\/uploads\/2009\/07\/bird-3.png?resize=305%2C207",305,207,true],"cvmm-portrait":["https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/coffeejitters.net\/blog\/wp-content\/uploads\/2009\/07\/bird-3.png?resize=400%2C600",400,600,true],"cvmm-medium-square":["https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/coffeejitters.net\/blog\/wp-content\/uploads\/2009\/07\/bird-3.png?resize=600%2C600",600,600,true],"cvmm-large":["https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/coffeejitters.net\/blog\/wp-content\/uploads\/2009\/07\/bird-3.png?resize=1024%2C1024",1024,1024,true],"cvmm-small":["https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/coffeejitters.net\/blog\/wp-content\/uploads\/2009\/07\/bird-3.png?resize=130%2C95",130,95,true],"full":["https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/coffeejitters.net\/blog\/wp-content\/uploads\/2009\/07\/bird-3.png?fit=1774%2C1268",1774,1268,false]},"jetpack_sharing_enabled":true,"jetpack_shortlink":"https:\/\/wp.me\/p1fDeG-FJ","jetpack-related-posts":[{"id":12681,"url":"http:\/\/coffeejitters.net\/blog\/2026\/03\/10\/16-year-cancerversary-and-finding-my-way-back-to-hope\/","url_meta":{"origin":2587,"position":0},"title":"16 Year Cancerversary, and finding my way back to hope","author":"Judy Schwartz Haley","date":"","format":false,"excerpt":"16 years ago, today, I got that call. The one where the doctor says, \"I'm sorry, it's cancer.\" That was the moment that turned my life upside down. Standing outside a coffee shop with the phone pressed against one ear, and my finger plugging the other ear because of traffic\u2026","rel":"","context":"In &quot;Cancer&quot;","block_context":{"text":"Cancer","link":"http:\/\/coffeejitters.net\/blog\/category\/cancer-2\/"},"img":{"alt_text":"","src":"https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/coffeejitters.net\/blog\/wp-content\/uploads\/2026\/03\/cancerversary-16.png?fit=1200%2C675&resize=350%2C200","width":350,"height":200,"srcset":"https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/coffeejitters.net\/blog\/wp-content\/uploads\/2026\/03\/cancerversary-16.png?fit=1200%2C675&resize=350%2C200 1x, https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/coffeejitters.net\/blog\/wp-content\/uploads\/2026\/03\/cancerversary-16.png?fit=1200%2C675&resize=525%2C300 1.5x, https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/coffeejitters.net\/blog\/wp-content\/uploads\/2026\/03\/cancerversary-16.png?fit=1200%2C675&resize=700%2C400 2x, https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/coffeejitters.net\/blog\/wp-content\/uploads\/2026\/03\/cancerversary-16.png?fit=1200%2C675&resize=1050%2C600 3x"},"classes":[]},{"id":4070,"url":"http:\/\/coffeejitters.net\/blog\/2013\/01\/15\/just-breathe\/","url_meta":{"origin":2587,"position":1},"title":"Just Breathe","author":"Judy Schwartz Haley","date":"","format":false,"excerpt":"Sometimes all we have left is our breath. Sometimes breath is all we need. One more breath, to take us to one more moment. Inhale. Exhale. Repeat.","rel":"","context":"In &quot;Best of CoffeeJitters&quot;","block_context":{"text":"Best of CoffeeJitters","link":"http:\/\/coffeejitters.net\/blog\/category\/best-of-coffeejitters\/"},"img":{"alt_text":"","src":"https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/coffeejitters.net\/blog\/wp-content\/uploads\/2013\/01\/just-breathe-3.png?fit=1200%2C675&resize=350%2C200","width":350,"height":200,"srcset":"https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/coffeejitters.net\/blog\/wp-content\/uploads\/2013\/01\/just-breathe-3.png?fit=1200%2C675&resize=350%2C200 1x, https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/coffeejitters.net\/blog\/wp-content\/uploads\/2013\/01\/just-breathe-3.png?fit=1200%2C675&resize=525%2C300 1.5x, https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/coffeejitters.net\/blog\/wp-content\/uploads\/2013\/01\/just-breathe-3.png?fit=1200%2C675&resize=700%2C400 2x, https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/coffeejitters.net\/blog\/wp-content\/uploads\/2013\/01\/just-breathe-3.png?fit=1200%2C675&resize=1050%2C600 3x"},"classes":[]},{"id":8317,"url":"http:\/\/coffeejitters.net\/blog\/2015\/02\/28\/listen-mother\/","url_meta":{"origin":2587,"position":2},"title":"Listen to Your Mother","author":"Judy Schwartz Haley","date":"","format":false,"excerpt":"I'm supposed to be on vacation right now. Actually, I AM on vacation right now, hidden away on a cabin on an island with a few close friends, but I just had to share something. I recently\u00a0did something brave and scary: I worked up the nerve to audition for Listen\u2026","rel":"","context":"In &quot;Creating a Living&quot;","block_context":{"text":"Creating a Living","link":"http:\/\/coffeejitters.net\/blog\/category\/creating-a-living\/"},"img":{"alt_text":"listen to your mother","src":"https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/coffeejitters.net\/blog\/wp-content\/uploads\/2015\/02\/listen-to-your-mother-2.png?fit=500%2C500&resize=350%2C200","width":350,"height":200},"classes":[]},{"id":8364,"url":"http:\/\/coffeejitters.net\/blog\/2015\/05\/07\/what-your-mom-wants-for-mothers-day\/","url_meta":{"origin":2587,"position":3},"title":"What your mom wants for Mothers Day","author":"Judy Schwartz Haley","date":"","format":false,"excerpt":"* She wants the handmade crafts - the pictures, the paintings, the little sculptures, the handprints, the inedible breakfast - But the coffee, she wants the coffee to be good, so if you haven't mastered that skill yet, step aside * She wants to laugh without peeing her pants *\u2026","rel":"","context":"In &quot;Living Well&quot;","block_context":{"text":"Living Well","link":"http:\/\/coffeejitters.net\/blog\/category\/living-well\/"},"img":{"alt_text":"What your mom wants for mothers day","src":"https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/coffeejitters.net\/blog\/wp-content\/uploads\/2015\/05\/what-your-mom-wants-for-mothers-day.png?fit=940%2C788&resize=350%2C200","width":350,"height":200,"srcset":"https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/coffeejitters.net\/blog\/wp-content\/uploads\/2015\/05\/what-your-mom-wants-for-mothers-day.png?fit=940%2C788&resize=350%2C200 1x, https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/coffeejitters.net\/blog\/wp-content\/uploads\/2015\/05\/what-your-mom-wants-for-mothers-day.png?fit=940%2C788&resize=525%2C300 1.5x, https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/coffeejitters.net\/blog\/wp-content\/uploads\/2015\/05\/what-your-mom-wants-for-mothers-day.png?fit=940%2C788&resize=700%2C400 2x"},"classes":[]},{"id":12248,"url":"http:\/\/coffeejitters.net\/blog\/2023\/10\/29\/october-is-selective-mutism-awareness-month\/","url_meta":{"origin":2587,"position":4},"title":"October is Selective Mutism Awareness Month","author":"Judy Schwartz Haley","date":"","format":false,"excerpt":"Selective mutism is a rare disorder, a communication disability, affecting less than 1% of kids.","rel":"","context":"In &quot;courage&quot;","block_context":{"text":"courage","link":"http:\/\/coffeejitters.net\/blog\/category\/courage\/"},"img":{"alt_text":"october is selective mutism awareness month","src":"https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/coffeejitters.net\/blog\/wp-content\/uploads\/2023\/10\/selective-mutism-1.png?fit=1200%2C675&resize=350%2C200","width":350,"height":200,"srcset":"https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/coffeejitters.net\/blog\/wp-content\/uploads\/2023\/10\/selective-mutism-1.png?fit=1200%2C675&resize=350%2C200 1x, https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/coffeejitters.net\/blog\/wp-content\/uploads\/2023\/10\/selective-mutism-1.png?fit=1200%2C675&resize=525%2C300 1.5x, https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/coffeejitters.net\/blog\/wp-content\/uploads\/2023\/10\/selective-mutism-1.png?fit=1200%2C675&resize=700%2C400 2x, https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/coffeejitters.net\/blog\/wp-content\/uploads\/2023\/10\/selective-mutism-1.png?fit=1200%2C675&resize=1050%2C600 3x"},"classes":[]},{"id":7982,"url":"http:\/\/coffeejitters.net\/blog\/2014\/12\/31\/gems-gems-2014-wrapup\/","url_meta":{"origin":2587,"position":5},"title":"Gem&#8217;s Gems 2014 Wrapup","author":"Judy Schwartz Haley","date":"","format":false,"excerpt":"My kid says some funny stuff, and every year I post a round-up of some of her best lines. enjoy. \u00a0Ambition G: I can be anything I want when I grow up? 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