{"id":2480,"date":"2010-12-21T00:16:28","date_gmt":"2010-12-21T07:16:28","guid":{"rendered":"http:\/\/coffeejitters.net\/blog\/?p=2480"},"modified":"2014-09-09T20:47:35","modified_gmt":"2014-09-10T03:47:35","slug":"new-perspective-memory","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"http:\/\/coffeejitters.net\/blog\/2010\/12\/21\/new-perspective-memory\/","title":{"rendered":"New Perspective on Memory"},"content":{"rendered":"<p>I was in the back seat, pretending to sleep as we pulled into the driveway late after a long day of shopping. At five, and the oldest in a large family, the odds of Daddy carrying me into the house and up the stairs to my room were pretty slim. But that didn&#8217;t stop me from trying.<\/p>\n<p>Most of the time, he&#8217;d wake me up and send me inside, but every once in a while my little ploy worked. \u00a0I&#8217;d rest my head on his shoulder as we ascended the stairs, and ragdoll as he maneuvered me into my jammies. \u00a0Then he would tuck me into bed, brush the hair from my face, and plant a kiss on my forehead. \u00a0I relished those moments, soaking up the attention.<\/p>\n<p>Parenthood has given me a new perspective on this memory.\u00a0I wonder how transparent my motives were. \u00a0Did he know I was only pretending to sleep, and carry me in anyway? \u00a0Did he want to hold me as much as I wanted to be held? As a child, I only thought about how I had to compete with my brothers for attention and affection. It didn&#8217;t occur to me that my parents might crave those cuddles, too.<\/p>\n<p><a href=\"http:\/\/coffeejitters.net\/blog\/2010\/12\/newperspectiveonmemor\/judy-and-daddy\/\" rel=\"attachment wp-att-7201\"><img data-recalc-dims=\"1\" loading=\"lazy\" decoding=\"async\" data-attachment-id=\"7201\" data-permalink=\"http:\/\/coffeejitters.net\/blog\/2010\/12\/21\/new-perspective-memory\/judy-and-daddy\/\" data-orig-file=\"https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/coffeejitters.net\/blog\/wp-content\/uploads\/2010\/12\/Judy-and-Daddy.jpg?fit=640%2C452\" data-orig-size=\"640,452\" data-comments-opened=\"1\" data-image-meta=\"{&quot;aperture&quot;:&quot;0&quot;,&quot;credit&quot;:&quot;&quot;,&quot;camera&quot;:&quot;&quot;,&quot;caption&quot;:&quot;&quot;,&quot;created_timestamp&quot;:&quot;0&quot;,&quot;copyright&quot;:&quot;&quot;,&quot;focal_length&quot;:&quot;0&quot;,&quot;iso&quot;:&quot;0&quot;,&quot;shutter_speed&quot;:&quot;0&quot;,&quot;title&quot;:&quot;&quot;}\" data-image-title=\"Judy and Daddy\" data-image-description=\"&lt;p&gt;Judy Schwartz Haley and Michael H. Schwartz 1973&lt;\/p&gt;\n\" data-image-caption=\"\" data-large-file=\"https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/coffeejitters.net\/blog\/wp-content\/uploads\/2010\/12\/Judy-and-Daddy.jpg?fit=640%2C452\" class=\"aligncenter size-full wp-image-7201\" src=\"https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/coffeejitters.net\/blog\/wp-content\/uploads\/2010\/12\/Judy-and-Daddy.jpg?resize=640%2C452\" alt=\"Judy and Daddy\" width=\"640\" height=\"452\" srcset=\"https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/coffeejitters.net\/blog\/wp-content\/uploads\/2010\/12\/Judy-and-Daddy.jpg?w=640 640w, https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/coffeejitters.net\/blog\/wp-content\/uploads\/2010\/12\/Judy-and-Daddy.jpg?resize=300%2C211 300w, https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/coffeejitters.net\/blog\/wp-content\/uploads\/2010\/12\/Judy-and-Daddy.jpg?resize=106%2C75 106w, https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/coffeejitters.net\/blog\/wp-content\/uploads\/2010\/12\/Judy-and-Daddy.jpg?resize=82%2C57 82w\" sizes=\"(max-width: 640px) 100vw, 640px\" \/><\/a><\/p>\n<p>Today would have been my dad&#8217;s 65th birthday.<\/p>\n<p>I miss you, Dad.<\/p>\n<p><a href=\"http:\/\/coffeejitters.net\/blog\/2014\/09\/juggle-cancer-parenting\/border-pink\/\" rel=\"attachment wp-att-7071\"><img data-recalc-dims=\"1\" loading=\"lazy\" decoding=\"async\" data-attachment-id=\"7071\" data-permalink=\"http:\/\/coffeejitters.net\/blog\/2014\/09\/01\/juggle-cancer-parenting\/border-pink\/\" data-orig-file=\"https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/coffeejitters.net\/blog\/wp-content\/uploads\/2014\/09\/border-pink.png?fit=640%2C89\" data-orig-size=\"640,89\" data-comments-opened=\"1\" data-image-meta=\"{&quot;aperture&quot;:&quot;0&quot;,&quot;credit&quot;:&quot;&quot;,&quot;camera&quot;:&quot;&quot;,&quot;caption&quot;:&quot;&quot;,&quot;created_timestamp&quot;:&quot;0&quot;,&quot;copyright&quot;:&quot;&quot;,&quot;focal_length&quot;:&quot;0&quot;,&quot;iso&quot;:&quot;0&quot;,&quot;shutter_speed&quot;:&quot;0&quot;,&quot;title&quot;:&quot;&quot;}\" data-image-title=\"border-pink\" data-image-description=\"\" data-image-caption=\"\" data-large-file=\"https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/coffeejitters.net\/blog\/wp-content\/uploads\/2014\/09\/border-pink.png?fit=640%2C89\" class=\"aligncenter size-full wp-image-7071\" src=\"https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/coffeejitters.net\/blog\/wp-content\/uploads\/2014\/09\/border-pink.png?resize=640%2C89\" alt=\"coffeejitters border pink\" width=\"640\" height=\"89\" srcset=\"https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/coffeejitters.net\/blog\/wp-content\/uploads\/2014\/09\/border-pink.png?w=640 640w, https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/coffeejitters.net\/blog\/wp-content\/uploads\/2014\/09\/border-pink.png?resize=300%2C41 300w\" sizes=\"(max-width: 640px) 100vw, 640px\" \/><\/a><\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"<p>I was in the back seat, pretending to sleep as we pulled into the driveway late after a long day of shopping. At five, and the oldest in a large family, the odds of Daddy carrying me into the house and up the stairs to my room were pretty slim. But that didn&#8217;t stop me [&hellip;]<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":1,"featured_media":7201,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"closed","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"_et_pb_use_builder":"","_et_pb_old_content":"","_et_gb_content_width":"","advanced_seo_description":"","jetpack_seo_html_title":"","jetpack_seo_noindex":false,"jetpack_post_was_ever_published":false,"_jetpack_newsletter_access":"","_jetpack_dont_email_post_to_subs":false,"_jetpack_newsletter_tier_id":0,"_jetpack_memberships_contains_paywalled_content":false,"_jetpack_memberships_contains_paid_content":false,"footnotes":"","jetpack_publicize_message":"","jetpack_publicize_feature_enabled":true,"jetpack_social_post_already_shared":false,"jetpack_social_options":{"image_generator_settings":{"template":"highway","default_image_id":0,"font":"","enabled":false},"version":2}},"categories":[761,694],"tags":[591,27,28,671,464,465,146],"class_list":["post-2480","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","has-post-thumbnail","hentry","category-family-living-well","category-living-well","tag-childhood-2","tag-dad","tag-extended-family","tag-life-lessons-2","tag-memory","tag-perspective","tag-1what-really-matters","et-has-post-format-content","et_post_format-et-post-format-standard"],"jetpack_publicize_connections":[],"jetpack_featured_media_url":"https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/coffeejitters.net\/blog\/wp-content\/uploads\/2010\/12\/Judy-and-Daddy.jpg?fit=640%2C452","blog_post_layout_featured_media_urls":{"thumbnail":["https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/coffeejitters.net\/blog\/wp-content\/uploads\/2010\/12\/Judy-and-Daddy.jpg?resize=150%2C150",150,150,true],"full":["https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/coffeejitters.net\/blog\/wp-content\/uploads\/2010\/12\/Judy-and-Daddy.jpg?fit=640%2C452",640,452,false]},"categories_names":{"761":{"name":"Family","link":"http:\/\/coffeejitters.net\/blog\/category\/living-well\/family-living-well\/"},"694":{"name":"Living Well","link":"http:\/\/coffeejitters.net\/blog\/category\/living-well\/"}},"tags_names":{"591":{"name":"childhood","link":"http:\/\/coffeejitters.net\/blog\/tag\/childhood-2\/"},"27":{"name":"dad","link":"http:\/\/coffeejitters.net\/blog\/tag\/dad\/"},"28":{"name":"Extended Family","link":"http:\/\/coffeejitters.net\/blog\/tag\/extended-family\/"},"671":{"name":"life lessons","link":"http:\/\/coffeejitters.net\/blog\/tag\/life-lessons-2\/"},"464":{"name":"memory","link":"http:\/\/coffeejitters.net\/blog\/tag\/memory\/"},"465":{"name":"perspective","link":"http:\/\/coffeejitters.net\/blog\/tag\/perspective\/"},"146":{"name":"What Really Matters","link":"http:\/\/coffeejitters.net\/blog\/tag\/1what-really-matters\/"}},"comments_number":0,"wpmagazine_modules_lite_featured_media_urls":{"thumbnail":["https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/coffeejitters.net\/blog\/wp-content\/uploads\/2010\/12\/Judy-and-Daddy.jpg?resize=150%2C150",150,150,true],"cvmm-medium":["https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/coffeejitters.net\/blog\/wp-content\/uploads\/2010\/12\/Judy-and-Daddy.jpg?resize=300%2C300",300,300,true],"cvmm-medium-plus":["https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/coffeejitters.net\/blog\/wp-content\/uploads\/2010\/12\/Judy-and-Daddy.jpg?resize=305%2C207",305,207,true],"cvmm-portrait":["https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/coffeejitters.net\/blog\/wp-content\/uploads\/2010\/12\/Judy-and-Daddy.jpg?resize=400%2C452",400,452,true],"cvmm-medium-square":["https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/coffeejitters.net\/blog\/wp-content\/uploads\/2010\/12\/Judy-and-Daddy.jpg?resize=600%2C452",600,452,true],"cvmm-large":["https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/coffeejitters.net\/blog\/wp-content\/uploads\/2010\/12\/Judy-and-Daddy.jpg?resize=640%2C452",640,452,true],"cvmm-small":["https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/coffeejitters.net\/blog\/wp-content\/uploads\/2010\/12\/Judy-and-Daddy.jpg?resize=130%2C95",130,95,true],"full":["https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/coffeejitters.net\/blog\/wp-content\/uploads\/2010\/12\/Judy-and-Daddy.jpg?fit=640%2C452",640,452,false]},"jetpack_sharing_enabled":true,"jetpack_shortlink":"https:\/\/wp.me\/p1fDeG-E0","jetpack-related-posts":[{"id":4174,"url":"http:\/\/coffeejitters.net\/blog\/2013\/04\/16\/a-new-day\/","url_meta":{"origin":2480,"position":0},"title":"A new day","author":"Judy Schwartz Haley","date":"","format":false,"excerpt":"A new day, with a new set of challenges, including the challenge of wrapping my head around yet another wave of violence. But that fresh start is also an opportunity for a fresh perspective, for evolving the way I look at the situation, and the world.","rel":"","context":"In &quot;Community&quot;","block_context":{"text":"Community","link":"http:\/\/coffeejitters.net\/blog\/category\/life-skills\/community-living-well\/"},"img":{"alt_text":"","src":"https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/coffeejitters.net\/blog\/wp-content\/uploads\/2013\/04\/a-new-day-1.png?fit=1200%2C675&resize=350%2C200","width":350,"height":200,"srcset":"https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/coffeejitters.net\/blog\/wp-content\/uploads\/2013\/04\/a-new-day-1.png?fit=1200%2C675&resize=350%2C200 1x, https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/coffeejitters.net\/blog\/wp-content\/uploads\/2013\/04\/a-new-day-1.png?fit=1200%2C675&resize=525%2C300 1.5x, https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/coffeejitters.net\/blog\/wp-content\/uploads\/2013\/04\/a-new-day-1.png?fit=1200%2C675&resize=700%2C400 2x, https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/coffeejitters.net\/blog\/wp-content\/uploads\/2013\/04\/a-new-day-1.png?fit=1200%2C675&resize=1050%2C600 3x"},"classes":[]},{"id":12681,"url":"http:\/\/coffeejitters.net\/blog\/2026\/03\/10\/16-year-cancerversary-and-finding-my-way-back-to-hope\/","url_meta":{"origin":2480,"position":1},"title":"16 Year Cancerversary, and finding my way back to hope","author":"Judy Schwartz Haley","date":"","format":false,"excerpt":"16 years ago, today, I got that call. The one where the doctor says, \"I'm sorry, it's cancer.\" That was the moment that turned my life upside down. Standing outside a coffee shop with the phone pressed against one ear, and my finger plugging the other ear because of traffic\u2026","rel":"","context":"In &quot;Cancer&quot;","block_context":{"text":"Cancer","link":"http:\/\/coffeejitters.net\/blog\/category\/cancer-2\/"},"img":{"alt_text":"","src":"https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/coffeejitters.net\/blog\/wp-content\/uploads\/2026\/03\/cancerversary-16.png?fit=1200%2C675&resize=350%2C200","width":350,"height":200,"srcset":"https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/coffeejitters.net\/blog\/wp-content\/uploads\/2026\/03\/cancerversary-16.png?fit=1200%2C675&resize=350%2C200 1x, https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/coffeejitters.net\/blog\/wp-content\/uploads\/2026\/03\/cancerversary-16.png?fit=1200%2C675&resize=525%2C300 1.5x, https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/coffeejitters.net\/blog\/wp-content\/uploads\/2026\/03\/cancerversary-16.png?fit=1200%2C675&resize=700%2C400 2x, https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/coffeejitters.net\/blog\/wp-content\/uploads\/2026\/03\/cancerversary-16.png?fit=1200%2C675&resize=1050%2C600 3x"},"classes":[]},{"id":12145,"url":"http:\/\/coffeejitters.net\/blog\/2023\/02\/18\/6-benefits-of-freewriting\/","url_meta":{"origin":2480,"position":2},"title":"6 Benefits of Freewriting","author":"Judy Schwartz Haley","date":"","format":false,"excerpt":"Freewriting is a simple writing practice that helps prime the writer for creativity and inspiration among other benefits","rel":"","context":"In &quot;Inspiration&quot;","block_context":{"text":"Inspiration","link":"http:\/\/coffeejitters.net\/blog\/category\/life-skills\/inspiration-living-well\/"},"img":{"alt_text":"","src":"https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/coffeejitters.net\/blog\/wp-content\/uploads\/2023\/02\/6-benefits-of-freewriting.png?fit=1200%2C675&resize=350%2C200","width":350,"height":200,"srcset":"https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/coffeejitters.net\/blog\/wp-content\/uploads\/2023\/02\/6-benefits-of-freewriting.png?fit=1200%2C675&resize=350%2C200 1x, https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/coffeejitters.net\/blog\/wp-content\/uploads\/2023\/02\/6-benefits-of-freewriting.png?fit=1200%2C675&resize=525%2C300 1.5x, https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/coffeejitters.net\/blog\/wp-content\/uploads\/2023\/02\/6-benefits-of-freewriting.png?fit=1200%2C675&resize=700%2C400 2x, https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/coffeejitters.net\/blog\/wp-content\/uploads\/2023\/02\/6-benefits-of-freewriting.png?fit=1200%2C675&resize=1050%2C600 3x"},"classes":[]},{"id":7982,"url":"http:\/\/coffeejitters.net\/blog\/2014\/12\/31\/gems-gems-2014-wrapup\/","url_meta":{"origin":2480,"position":3},"title":"Gem&#8217;s Gems 2014 Wrapup","author":"Judy Schwartz Haley","date":"","format":false,"excerpt":"My kid says some funny stuff, and every year I post a round-up of some of her best lines. enjoy. \u00a0Ambition G: I can be anything I want when I grow up? Me: Sure, what do you want to be? G: A unicorn Me: wanna watch a movie? G: No.\u2026","rel":"","context":"In &quot;Parenting &amp; Family&quot;","block_context":{"text":"Parenting &amp; Family","link":"http:\/\/coffeejitters.net\/blog\/category\/parenting-living-well\/"},"img":{"alt_text":"","src":"https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/coffeejitters.net\/blog\/wp-content\/uploads\/2014\/12\/gems-gems.png?fit=640%2C640&resize=350%2C200","width":350,"height":200,"srcset":"https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/coffeejitters.net\/blog\/wp-content\/uploads\/2014\/12\/gems-gems.png?fit=640%2C640&resize=350%2C200 1x, https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/coffeejitters.net\/blog\/wp-content\/uploads\/2014\/12\/gems-gems.png?fit=640%2C640&resize=525%2C300 1.5x"},"classes":[]}],"jetpack_likes_enabled":false,"_links":{"self":[{"href":"http:\/\/coffeejitters.net\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/2480","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"http:\/\/coffeejitters.net\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"http:\/\/coffeejitters.net\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"http:\/\/coffeejitters.net\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/users\/1"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"http:\/\/coffeejitters.net\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/comments?post=2480"}],"version-history":[{"count":11,"href":"http:\/\/coffeejitters.net\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/2480\/revisions"}],"predecessor-version":[{"id":7203,"href":"http:\/\/coffeejitters.net\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/2480\/revisions\/7203"}],"wp:featuredmedia":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"http:\/\/coffeejitters.net\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media\/7201"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"http:\/\/coffeejitters.net\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media?parent=2480"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"http:\/\/coffeejitters.net\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/categories?post=2480"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"http:\/\/coffeejitters.net\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/tags?post=2480"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}