{"id":2420,"date":"2010-11-14T23:07:51","date_gmt":"2010-11-15T06:07:51","guid":{"rendered":"http:\/\/coffeejitters.net\/blog\/?p=2420"},"modified":"2018-10-13T22:51:43","modified_gmt":"2018-10-14T05:51:43","slug":"it-gets-real","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"http:\/\/coffeejitters.net\/blog\/2010\/11\/14\/it-gets-real\/","title":{"rendered":"It Gets Real"},"content":{"rendered":"

She had warm eyes and the sweetest smile, but it was her wit that took my breath away. You had to pay attention because her comments were quiet, under-the-breath, but they would make you snort-laugh and shoot your champagne out your nose.<\/p>\n

To be honest, I didn’t know her very well, we only met a few times, yet here I sit with a hole in my heart. I wanted to know her better. I intended to get to know her, but we ran out of time, and now it will never happen.<\/p>\n

Elizabeth belonged to my support group, the Young Survival Coalition<\/a>, a circle of friends all battling breast cancer much too young. Daughters and grand daughters, sisters, friends, wives, and mothers of young children – a group of women I embrace, knowing full well that it will lead to my heart break again, and again, and again.<\/p>\n

This is where it gets real. You might think losing my hair or the amputation of a breast would make it real, but those are such trivial things when death becomes an issue. I know that in the years to come, some of these women I hold so close to my heart will die. I know I might be one of them. There is so much love in this group, and so much understanding. These women comprehend the pain, the fatigue, the body image issues, the adjustment to life with this monster inside, and worst of all, the fear that someone else will end up raising your child. They live with it, too.<\/p>\n

This is the first time since my diagnosis that someone I know died of breast cancer. I hope I never get used to it.<\/p>\n

Godspeed E-beth, and love to your husband and children.<\/p>\n

\"bird-1\"<\/a><\/p>\n

You can learn more about my cancer story here:<\/p>\n

\"my<\/a><\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

Let’s Connect<\/strong><\/h2>\n

\"\"<\/span><\/a> . \"\"<\/span><\/a> . \"\"<\/span><\/a> . \"\"<\/span><\/a> . \"\"<\/span><\/a>\u00a0.\u00a0\"\"<\/span><\/a> . \"\"<\/span><\/a> . \"\"<\/span> . \"\"<\/span> . \"\"<\/span><\/a><\/span>
\n\"Follow<\/a><\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"

She had warm eyes and the sweetest smile, but it was her wit that took my breath away. You had to pay attention because her comments were quiet, under-the-breath, but they would make you snort-laugh and shoot your champagne out your nose. To be honest, I didn’t know her very well, we only met a […]<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":1,"featured_media":8240,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"closed","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"_et_pb_use_builder":"","_et_pb_old_content":"","_et_gb_content_width":"","advanced_seo_description":"","jetpack_seo_html_title":"","jetpack_seo_noindex":false,"_jetpack_newsletter_access":"","_jetpack_dont_email_post_to_subs":false,"_jetpack_newsletter_tier_id":0,"_jetpack_memberships_contains_paywalled_content":false,"_jetpack_feature_clip_id":0,"_jetpack_memberships_contains_paid_content":false,"footnotes":"","jetpack_publicize_message":"","jetpack_publicize_feature_enabled":true,"jetpack_social_post_already_shared":false,"jetpack_social_options":{"image_generator_settings":{"template":"highway","default_image_id":0,"font":"","enabled":false},"version":2},"jetpack_post_was_ever_published":false},"categories":[695,819],"tags":[350,300,459,604,671,451,566],"class_list":["post-2420","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","has-post-thumbnail","hentry","category-cancer-2","category-community-living-well","tag-breast-cancer-under-40","tag-cancer","tag-death","tag-in-memory","tag-life-lessons-2","tag-young-survival-coalition","tag-ysc","et-has-post-format-content","et_post_format-et-post-format-standard"],"jetpack_publicize_connections":[],"jetpack_featured_media_url":"https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/coffeejitters.net\/blog\/wp-content\/uploads\/2009\/07\/bird-1.png?fit=640%2C457","blog_post_layout_featured_media_urls":{"thumbnail":["https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/coffeejitters.net\/blog\/wp-content\/uploads\/2009\/07\/bird-1.png?resize=150%2C150",150,150,true],"full":["https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/coffeejitters.net\/blog\/wp-content\/uploads\/2009\/07\/bird-1.png?fit=640%2C457",640,457,false]},"categories_names":{"695":{"name":"Cancer","link":"http:\/\/coffeejitters.net\/blog\/category\/cancer-2\/"},"819":{"name":"Community","link":"http:\/\/coffeejitters.net\/blog\/category\/life-skills\/community-living-well\/"}},"tags_names":{"350":{"name":"breast cancer under 40","link":"http:\/\/coffeejitters.net\/blog\/tag\/breast-cancer-under-40\/"},"300":{"name":"cancer","link":"http:\/\/coffeejitters.net\/blog\/tag\/cancer\/"},"459":{"name":"death","link":"http:\/\/coffeejitters.net\/blog\/tag\/death\/"},"604":{"name":"in memory","link":"http:\/\/coffeejitters.net\/blog\/tag\/in-memory\/"},"671":{"name":"life lessons","link":"http:\/\/coffeejitters.net\/blog\/tag\/life-lessons-2\/"},"451":{"name":"Young Survival Coalition","link":"http:\/\/coffeejitters.net\/blog\/tag\/young-survival-coalition\/"},"566":{"name":"ysc","link":"http:\/\/coffeejitters.net\/blog\/tag\/ysc\/"}},"comments_number":0,"wpmagazine_modules_lite_featured_media_urls":{"thumbnail":["https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/coffeejitters.net\/blog\/wp-content\/uploads\/2009\/07\/bird-1.png?resize=150%2C150",150,150,true],"cvmm-medium":["https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/coffeejitters.net\/blog\/wp-content\/uploads\/2009\/07\/bird-1.png?resize=300%2C300",300,300,true],"cvmm-medium-plus":["https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/coffeejitters.net\/blog\/wp-content\/uploads\/2009\/07\/bird-1.png?resize=305%2C207",305,207,true],"cvmm-portrait":["https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/coffeejitters.net\/blog\/wp-content\/uploads\/2009\/07\/bird-1.png?resize=400%2C457",400,457,true],"cvmm-medium-square":["https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/coffeejitters.net\/blog\/wp-content\/uploads\/2009\/07\/bird-1.png?resize=600%2C457",600,457,true],"cvmm-large":["https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/coffeejitters.net\/blog\/wp-content\/uploads\/2009\/07\/bird-1.png?resize=640%2C457",640,457,true],"cvmm-small":["https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/coffeejitters.net\/blog\/wp-content\/uploads\/2009\/07\/bird-1.png?resize=130%2C95",130,95,true],"full":["https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/coffeejitters.net\/blog\/wp-content\/uploads\/2009\/07\/bird-1.png?fit=640%2C457",640,457,false]},"jetpack_sharing_enabled":true,"jetpack_shortlink":"https:\/\/wp.me\/p1fDeG-D2","jetpack-related-posts":[{"id":259,"url":"http:\/\/coffeejitters.net\/blog\/2008\/07\/10\/the-last-post\/","url_meta":{"origin":2420,"position":0},"title":"The Last Post","author":"Judy Schwartz Haley","date":"","format":false,"excerpt":"Saturday morning Punk Rock Mommy died from inflammatory breast cancer. 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Sometimes breath is all we need. One more breath, to take us to one more moment. Inhale. Exhale. Repeat.","rel":"","context":"In "Best of CoffeeJitters"","block_context":{"text":"Best of CoffeeJitters","link":"http:\/\/coffeejitters.net\/blog\/category\/best-of-coffeejitters\/"},"img":{"alt_text":"","src":"https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/coffeejitters.net\/blog\/wp-content\/uploads\/2013\/01\/just-breathe-3.png?fit=1200%2C675&resize=350%2C200","width":350,"height":200,"srcset":"https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/coffeejitters.net\/blog\/wp-content\/uploads\/2013\/01\/just-breathe-3.png?fit=1200%2C675&resize=350%2C200 1x, https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/coffeejitters.net\/blog\/wp-content\/uploads\/2013\/01\/just-breathe-3.png?fit=1200%2C675&resize=525%2C300 1.5x, https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/coffeejitters.net\/blog\/wp-content\/uploads\/2013\/01\/just-breathe-3.png?fit=1200%2C675&resize=700%2C400 2x, https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/coffeejitters.net\/blog\/wp-content\/uploads\/2013\/01\/just-breathe-3.png?fit=1200%2C675&resize=1050%2C600 3x"},"classes":[]},{"id":282,"url":"http:\/\/coffeejitters.net\/blog\/2008\/07\/29\/lattes-and-lipstick-and-recipes-and-love\/","url_meta":{"origin":2420,"position":2},"title":"Lattes and Lipstick and Recipes and Love","author":"Judy Schwartz Haley","date":"","format":false,"excerpt":"Tricia at Shout brought this story to my attention and I want to repeat it here to do my part in helping spread the word.Gina of Lattes and Lipstick (which I'm adding to my rss reader right now) is raising money to pay for her husband's cancer treatment by compiling\u2026","rel":"","context":"In "Causes & Giving Back"","block_context":{"text":"Causes & Giving Back","link":"http:\/\/coffeejitters.net\/blog\/category\/life-skills\/causes\/"},"img":{"alt_text":"","src":"","width":0,"height":0},"classes":[]},{"id":142,"url":"http:\/\/coffeejitters.net\/blog\/2006\/10\/18\/the-c-word\/","url_meta":{"origin":2420,"position":3},"title":"the C-word","author":"Judy Schwartz Haley","date":"","format":false,"excerpt":"Two weeks ago my dad went in to surgery to remove his spleen because of a blood clot. when they got in there they saw that he had pancreatic cancer that had spread throughout his abdomen. they just closed him back up without even taking the spleen. they told us\u2026","rel":"","context":"In "Cancer"","block_context":{"text":"Cancer","link":"http:\/\/coffeejitters.net\/blog\/category\/cancer-2\/"},"img":{"alt_text":"coffeejitters border pink","src":"https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/coffeejitters.net\/blog\/wp-content\/uploads\/2014\/09\/border-pink.png?resize=350%2C200","width":350,"height":200,"srcset":"https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/coffeejitters.net\/blog\/wp-content\/uploads\/2014\/09\/border-pink.png?resize=350%2C200 1x, https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/coffeejitters.net\/blog\/wp-content\/uploads\/2014\/09\/border-pink.png?resize=525%2C300 1.5x"},"classes":[]},{"id":12681,"url":"http:\/\/coffeejitters.net\/blog\/2026\/03\/10\/16-year-cancerversary-and-finding-my-way-back-to-hope\/","url_meta":{"origin":2420,"position":4},"title":"16 Year Cancerversary, and finding my way back to hope","author":"Judy Schwartz Haley","date":"","format":false,"excerpt":"16 years ago, today, I got that call. The one where the doctor says, \"I'm sorry, it's cancer.\" That was the moment that turned my life upside down. Standing outside a coffee shop with the phone pressed against one ear, and my finger plugging the other ear because of traffic\u2026","rel":"","context":"In "Cancer"","block_context":{"text":"Cancer","link":"http:\/\/coffeejitters.net\/blog\/category\/cancer-2\/"},"img":{"alt_text":"","src":"https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/coffeejitters.net\/blog\/wp-content\/uploads\/2026\/03\/cancerversary-16.png?fit=1200%2C675&resize=350%2C200","width":350,"height":200,"srcset":"https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/coffeejitters.net\/blog\/wp-content\/uploads\/2026\/03\/cancerversary-16.png?fit=1200%2C675&resize=350%2C200 1x, https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/coffeejitters.net\/blog\/wp-content\/uploads\/2026\/03\/cancerversary-16.png?fit=1200%2C675&resize=525%2C300 1.5x, https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/coffeejitters.net\/blog\/wp-content\/uploads\/2026\/03\/cancerversary-16.png?fit=1200%2C675&resize=700%2C400 2x, https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/coffeejitters.net\/blog\/wp-content\/uploads\/2026\/03\/cancerversary-16.png?fit=1200%2C675&resize=1050%2C600 3x"},"classes":[]},{"id":172,"url":"http:\/\/coffeejitters.net\/blog\/2008\/04\/12\/sunset\/","url_meta":{"origin":2420,"position":5},"title":"Sunset","author":"Judy Schwartz Haley","date":"","format":false,"excerpt":"Sunset, originally uploaded by coffeejitters. 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