{"id":2352,"date":"2010-09-24T19:49:40","date_gmt":"2010-09-25T02:49:40","guid":{"rendered":"http:\/\/coffeejitters.net\/blog\/?p=2352"},"modified":"2015-03-08T10:28:41","modified_gmt":"2015-03-08T17:28:41","slug":"twenty-years-is-not-enough","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"http:\/\/coffeejitters.net\/blog\/2010\/09\/24\/twenty-years-is-not-enough\/","title":{"rendered":"Twenty years is not enough"},"content":{"rendered":"<p>People say some interesting things to me when they find out I have cancer. I understand that, for the most part, they mean well, but sometimes the things that come out of their mouths may not have the desired effect.<\/p>\n<p>There is a time and place to tell me about all the people you know who have died from cancer, but it&#8217;s not really encouraging to the newly diagnosed. I&#8217;m sorry you&#8217;ve lost loved ones, I have too. But it&#8217;s not an appropriate response to the revelation that someone has cancer.<\/p>\n<p>Another thing people tell me is that I could have another good twenty years in me. At the outset, that sounds great when your odds of hitting the five year survival mark are looking slim.<\/p>\n<p>But then I look at my year-and-a-half old daughter and I know that twenty years is not enough. I need to be there to guide her through adolescence, dance at her wedding, and spoil her children. I need to be a grandma.<\/p>\n<p>Twenty years is not enough. I can&#8217;t set the bar that low.<\/p>\n<p>I know, realistically, that I may not have that much time. I know I have friends who don&#8217;t have that much time either. This breaks my heart. But I have to set the bar higher.<\/p>\n<p>I&#8217;ve meet people who are 17 year survivors and I&#8217;m awed. It&#8217;s beautiful and amazing to survive that long, but it&#8217;s not enough. I want more. At the recent Race for the Cure there was a 45 year survivor. That&#8217;s a little more like it. But still, I want more.<\/p>\n<p>I want to live.<\/p>\n<p>I want to get old.<\/p>\n<p>My grandmother recently passed away at the age of 99. She was 60 years older than me.<\/p>\n<p>I think it&#8217;s about time we had a 60 year breast cancer survivor. How about telling me I could have 60 more good years in me? Then, when I hit the ripe old age of 99, I&#8217;ll ask for more time anyway.<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"<p>People say some interesting things to me when they find out I have cancer. I understand that, for the most part, they mean well, but sometimes the things that come out of their mouths may not have the desired effect. There is a time and place to tell me about all the people you know [&hellip;]<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":1,"featured_media":8241,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"closed","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"_et_pb_use_builder":"","_et_pb_old_content":"","_et_gb_content_width":"","advanced_seo_description":"","jetpack_seo_html_title":"","jetpack_seo_noindex":false,"_jetpack_newsletter_access":"","_jetpack_dont_email_post_to_subs":false,"_jetpack_newsletter_tier_id":0,"_jetpack_memberships_contains_paywalled_content":false,"_jetpack_feature_clip_id":0,"_jetpack_memberships_contains_paid_content":false,"footnotes":"","jetpack_publicize_message":"","jetpack_publicize_feature_enabled":true,"jetpack_social_post_already_shared":false,"jetpack_social_options":{"image_generator_settings":{"template":"highway","default_image_id":0,"font":"","enabled":false},"version":2},"jetpack_post_was_ever_published":false},"categories":[695],"tags":[350,890,202,353,447,348,448],"class_list":["post-2352","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","has-post-thumbnail","hentry","category-cancer-2","tag-breast-cancer-under-40","tag-life","tag-hope","tag-not-just-surviving-but-thriving","tag-open-mouth-change-feet","tag-parenting-with-cancer","tag-the-things-people-say","et-has-post-format-content","et_post_format-et-post-format-standard"],"jetpack_publicize_connections":[],"jetpack_featured_media_url":"https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/coffeejitters.net\/blog\/wp-content\/uploads\/2009\/07\/bird-2.png?fit=640%2C457","blog_post_layout_featured_media_urls":{"thumbnail":["https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/coffeejitters.net\/blog\/wp-content\/uploads\/2009\/07\/bird-2.png?resize=150%2C150",150,150,true],"full":["https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/coffeejitters.net\/blog\/wp-content\/uploads\/2009\/07\/bird-2.png?fit=640%2C457",640,457,false]},"categories_names":{"695":{"name":"Cancer","link":"http:\/\/coffeejitters.net\/blog\/category\/cancer-2\/"}},"tags_names":{"350":{"name":"breast cancer under 40","link":"http:\/\/coffeejitters.net\/blog\/tag\/breast-cancer-under-40\/"},"890":{"name":"Daily Life","link":"http:\/\/coffeejitters.net\/blog\/tag\/life\/"},"202":{"name":"hope","link":"http:\/\/coffeejitters.net\/blog\/tag\/hope\/"},"353":{"name":"not just surviving but thriving","link":"http:\/\/coffeejitters.net\/blog\/tag\/not-just-surviving-but-thriving\/"},"447":{"name":"open mouth change feet","link":"http:\/\/coffeejitters.net\/blog\/tag\/open-mouth-change-feet\/"},"348":{"name":"parenting with cancer","link":"http:\/\/coffeejitters.net\/blog\/tag\/parenting-with-cancer\/"},"448":{"name":"the things people say","link":"http:\/\/coffeejitters.net\/blog\/tag\/the-things-people-say\/"}},"comments_number":0,"wpmagazine_modules_lite_featured_media_urls":{"thumbnail":["https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/coffeejitters.net\/blog\/wp-content\/uploads\/2009\/07\/bird-2.png?resize=150%2C150",150,150,true],"cvmm-medium":["https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/coffeejitters.net\/blog\/wp-content\/uploads\/2009\/07\/bird-2.png?resize=300%2C300",300,300,true],"cvmm-medium-plus":["https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/coffeejitters.net\/blog\/wp-content\/uploads\/2009\/07\/bird-2.png?resize=305%2C207",305,207,true],"cvmm-portrait":["https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/coffeejitters.net\/blog\/wp-content\/uploads\/2009\/07\/bird-2.png?resize=400%2C457",400,457,true],"cvmm-medium-square":["https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/coffeejitters.net\/blog\/wp-content\/uploads\/2009\/07\/bird-2.png?resize=600%2C457",600,457,true],"cvmm-large":["https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/coffeejitters.net\/blog\/wp-content\/uploads\/2009\/07\/bird-2.png?resize=640%2C457",640,457,true],"cvmm-small":["https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/coffeejitters.net\/blog\/wp-content\/uploads\/2009\/07\/bird-2.png?resize=130%2C95",130,95,true],"full":["https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/coffeejitters.net\/blog\/wp-content\/uploads\/2009\/07\/bird-2.png?fit=640%2C457",640,457,false]},"jetpack_sharing_enabled":true,"jetpack_shortlink":"https:\/\/wp.me\/p1fDeG-BW","jetpack-related-posts":[{"id":259,"url":"http:\/\/coffeejitters.net\/blog\/2008\/07\/10\/the-last-post\/","url_meta":{"origin":2352,"position":0},"title":"The Last Post","author":"Judy Schwartz Haley","date":"","format":false,"excerpt":"Saturday morning Punk Rock Mommy died from inflammatory breast cancer. Her husband uploaded her last post and I read it and cried. I never met Punk Rock Mommy, I had never read her blog before this morning. But I am struck by the human spirit and how impending death can\u2026","rel":"","context":"In &quot;Cancer&quot;","block_context":{"text":"Cancer","link":"http:\/\/coffeejitters.net\/blog\/category\/cancer-2\/"},"img":{"alt_text":"punk rock mommy","src":"https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/coffeejitters.net\/blog\/wp-content\/uploads\/2008\/07\/punk-rock-mommy.png?fit=800%2C800&resize=350%2C200","width":350,"height":200,"srcset":"https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/coffeejitters.net\/blog\/wp-content\/uploads\/2008\/07\/punk-rock-mommy.png?fit=800%2C800&resize=350%2C200 1x, https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/coffeejitters.net\/blog\/wp-content\/uploads\/2008\/07\/punk-rock-mommy.png?fit=800%2C800&resize=525%2C300 1.5x, https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/coffeejitters.net\/blog\/wp-content\/uploads\/2008\/07\/punk-rock-mommy.png?fit=800%2C800&resize=700%2C400 2x"},"classes":[]},{"id":282,"url":"http:\/\/coffeejitters.net\/blog\/2008\/07\/29\/lattes-and-lipstick-and-recipes-and-love\/","url_meta":{"origin":2352,"position":1},"title":"Lattes and Lipstick and Recipes and Love","author":"Judy Schwartz Haley","date":"","format":false,"excerpt":"Tricia at Shout brought this story to my attention and I want to repeat it here to do my part in helping spread the word.Gina of Lattes and Lipstick (which I'm adding to my rss reader right now) is raising money to pay for her husband's cancer treatment by compiling\u2026","rel":"","context":"In &quot;Causes &amp; Giving Back&quot;","block_context":{"text":"Causes &amp; Giving Back","link":"http:\/\/coffeejitters.net\/blog\/category\/life-skills\/causes\/"},"img":{"alt_text":"","src":"","width":0,"height":0},"classes":[]},{"id":142,"url":"http:\/\/coffeejitters.net\/blog\/2006\/10\/18\/the-c-word\/","url_meta":{"origin":2352,"position":2},"title":"the C-word","author":"Judy Schwartz Haley","date":"","format":false,"excerpt":"Two weeks ago my dad went in to surgery to remove his spleen because of a blood clot. when they got in there they saw that he had pancreatic cancer that had spread throughout his abdomen. they just closed him back up without even taking the spleen. they told us\u2026","rel":"","context":"In &quot;Cancer&quot;","block_context":{"text":"Cancer","link":"http:\/\/coffeejitters.net\/blog\/category\/cancer-2\/"},"img":{"alt_text":"coffeejitters border pink","src":"https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/coffeejitters.net\/blog\/wp-content\/uploads\/2014\/09\/border-pink.png?resize=350%2C200","width":350,"height":200,"srcset":"https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/coffeejitters.net\/blog\/wp-content\/uploads\/2014\/09\/border-pink.png?resize=350%2C200 1x, https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/coffeejitters.net\/blog\/wp-content\/uploads\/2014\/09\/border-pink.png?resize=525%2C300 1.5x"},"classes":[]},{"id":12681,"url":"http:\/\/coffeejitters.net\/blog\/2026\/03\/10\/16-year-cancerversary-and-finding-my-way-back-to-hope\/","url_meta":{"origin":2352,"position":3},"title":"16 Year Cancerversary, and finding my way back to hope","author":"Judy Schwartz Haley","date":"","format":false,"excerpt":"16 years ago, today, I got that call. The one where the doctor says, \"I'm sorry, it's cancer.\" That was the moment that turned my life upside down. Standing outside a coffee shop with the phone pressed against one ear, and my finger plugging the other ear because of traffic\u2026","rel":"","context":"In &quot;Cancer&quot;","block_context":{"text":"Cancer","link":"http:\/\/coffeejitters.net\/blog\/category\/cancer-2\/"},"img":{"alt_text":"","src":"https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/coffeejitters.net\/blog\/wp-content\/uploads\/2026\/03\/cancerversary-16.png?fit=1200%2C675&resize=350%2C200","width":350,"height":200,"srcset":"https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/coffeejitters.net\/blog\/wp-content\/uploads\/2026\/03\/cancerversary-16.png?fit=1200%2C675&resize=350%2C200 1x, https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/coffeejitters.net\/blog\/wp-content\/uploads\/2026\/03\/cancerversary-16.png?fit=1200%2C675&resize=525%2C300 1.5x, https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/coffeejitters.net\/blog\/wp-content\/uploads\/2026\/03\/cancerversary-16.png?fit=1200%2C675&resize=700%2C400 2x, https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/coffeejitters.net\/blog\/wp-content\/uploads\/2026\/03\/cancerversary-16.png?fit=1200%2C675&resize=1050%2C600 3x"},"classes":[]},{"id":172,"url":"http:\/\/coffeejitters.net\/blog\/2008\/04\/12\/sunset\/","url_meta":{"origin":2352,"position":4},"title":"Sunset","author":"Judy Schwartz Haley","date":"","format":false,"excerpt":"Sunset, originally uploaded by coffeejitters. The view from Mom's new apartment: sunset over Puget Sound with the Kingston Ferry.\u00a9 Copyright Judy Haley 2008. All rights reserved.","rel":"","context":"In &quot;Daily Life&quot;","block_context":{"text":"Daily Life","link":"http:\/\/coffeejitters.net\/blog\/category\/living-well\/daily-life-living-well\/"},"img":{"alt_text":"","src":"","width":0,"height":0},"classes":[]},{"id":332,"url":"http:\/\/coffeejitters.net\/blog\/2008\/10\/22\/one-year-later\/","url_meta":{"origin":2352,"position":5},"title":"One Year Later","author":"Judy Schwartz Haley","date":"","format":false,"excerpt":"It was one year ago today that my father passed away. I'm still learning how to wrap my brain around this fact. I keep wanting to call or email him. His email address is still sitting there in my address book while his instant messenger icon keeps telling me he's\u2026","rel":"","context":"In &quot;Inspiration&quot;","block_context":{"text":"Inspiration","link":"http:\/\/coffeejitters.net\/blog\/category\/life-skills\/inspiration-living-well\/"},"img":{"alt_text":"Michael H. 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