{"id":2228,"date":"2010-09-02T01:30:21","date_gmt":"2010-09-02T08:30:21","guid":{"rendered":"http:\/\/coffeejitters.net\/blog\/?p=2228"},"modified":"2018-10-13T22:51:43","modified_gmt":"2018-10-14T05:51:43","slug":"alien-brain-probe","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"http:\/\/coffeejitters.net\/blog\/2010\/09\/02\/alien-brain-probe\/","title":{"rendered":"Alien Brain Probe"},"content":{"rendered":"

They say people learn a lot about themselves when they have to cope with a life threatening disease like cancer. Some discover vast reserves of strength, courage, and resilience. I discovered my brain was probed by aliens. \ud83d\ude09<\/p>\n

When chemo took my hair, my newly denuded scalp revealed more than just skin. It showed off a set of scars for which I could recall no viable cause. I racked my brain for minutes on end, and then I called my mom and asked her if I’d had any injuries or surgeries that would cause a scar like that. She couldn’t think of anything either.<\/p>\n

It must have been an alien brain probe. There is really no other explanation.<\/p>\n

A few days later Mom remembered that I totaled my car in high school and ended up in the hospital for a week. I even lost a few days memory in that wreck. But neither of us remember any extensive stitches or bandages that ventured beyond the hairline, and I’m quite fond of the alien brain probe theory.<\/p>\n

Perhaps the aliens caused the wreck to cover abducting me, probed my brain, stole my memory, and then returned me in time for the ambulance to take me to the hospital. That would also absolve me of responsibility for that car accident, and explain my weird sense of humor.<\/p>\n

Do you have any mystery scars?<\/p>\n

\"bird-3\"<\/a><\/p>\n

You can learn more about my cancer story here:<\/p>\n

\"my<\/a><\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

Let’s Connect<\/strong><\/h2>\n

\"\"<\/span><\/a> . \"\"<\/span><\/a> . \"\"<\/span><\/a> . \"\"<\/span><\/a> . \"\"<\/span><\/a>\u00a0.\u00a0\"\"<\/span><\/a> . \"\"<\/span><\/a> . \"\"<\/span> . \"\"<\/span> . \"\"<\/span><\/a><\/span>
\n\"Follow<\/a><\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"

They say people learn a lot about themselves when they have to cope with a life threatening disease like cancer. Some discover vast reserves of strength, courage, and resilience. I discovered my brain was probed by aliens. \ud83d\ude09 When chemo took my hair, my newly denuded scalp revealed more than just skin. It showed off […]<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":1,"featured_media":8242,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"closed","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"_et_pb_use_builder":"","_et_pb_old_content":"","_et_gb_content_width":"","advanced_seo_description":"","jetpack_seo_html_title":"","jetpack_seo_noindex":false,"_jetpack_newsletter_access":"","_jetpack_dont_email_post_to_subs":false,"_jetpack_newsletter_tier_id":0,"_jetpack_memberships_contains_paywalled_content":false,"_jetpack_feature_clip_id":0,"_jetpack_memberships_contains_paid_content":false,"footnotes":"","jetpack_publicize_message":"","jetpack_publicize_feature_enabled":true,"jetpack_social_post_already_shared":false,"jetpack_social_options":{"image_generator_settings":{"template":"highway","default_image_id":0,"font":"","enabled":false},"version":2},"jetpack_post_was_ever_published":false},"categories":[695],"tags":[431,411,591,42,430],"class_list":["post-2228","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","has-post-thumbnail","hentry","category-cancer-2","tag-cars","tag-chemo","tag-childhood-2","tag-funny","tag-hair","et-has-post-format-content","et_post_format-et-post-format-standard"],"jetpack_publicize_connections":[],"jetpack_featured_media_url":"https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/coffeejitters.net\/blog\/wp-content\/uploads\/2009\/07\/bird-3.png?fit=1774%2C1268","blog_post_layout_featured_media_urls":{"thumbnail":["https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/coffeejitters.net\/blog\/wp-content\/uploads\/2009\/07\/bird-3.png?resize=150%2C150",150,150,true],"full":["https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/coffeejitters.net\/blog\/wp-content\/uploads\/2009\/07\/bird-3.png?fit=1774%2C1268",1774,1268,false]},"categories_names":{"695":{"name":"Cancer","link":"http:\/\/coffeejitters.net\/blog\/category\/cancer-2\/"}},"tags_names":{"431":{"name":"cars","link":"http:\/\/coffeejitters.net\/blog\/tag\/cars\/"},"411":{"name":"chemo","link":"http:\/\/coffeejitters.net\/blog\/tag\/chemo\/"},"591":{"name":"childhood","link":"http:\/\/coffeejitters.net\/blog\/tag\/childhood-2\/"},"42":{"name":"funny","link":"http:\/\/coffeejitters.net\/blog\/tag\/funny\/"},"430":{"name":"hair","link":"http:\/\/coffeejitters.net\/blog\/tag\/hair\/"}},"comments_number":0,"wpmagazine_modules_lite_featured_media_urls":{"thumbnail":["https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/coffeejitters.net\/blog\/wp-content\/uploads\/2009\/07\/bird-3.png?resize=150%2C150",150,150,true],"cvmm-medium":["https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/coffeejitters.net\/blog\/wp-content\/uploads\/2009\/07\/bird-3.png?resize=300%2C300",300,300,true],"cvmm-medium-plus":["https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/coffeejitters.net\/blog\/wp-content\/uploads\/2009\/07\/bird-3.png?resize=305%2C207",305,207,true],"cvmm-portrait":["https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/coffeejitters.net\/blog\/wp-content\/uploads\/2009\/07\/bird-3.png?resize=400%2C600",400,600,true],"cvmm-medium-square":["https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/coffeejitters.net\/blog\/wp-content\/uploads\/2009\/07\/bird-3.png?resize=600%2C600",600,600,true],"cvmm-large":["https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/coffeejitters.net\/blog\/wp-content\/uploads\/2009\/07\/bird-3.png?resize=1024%2C1024",1024,1024,true],"cvmm-small":["https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/coffeejitters.net\/blog\/wp-content\/uploads\/2009\/07\/bird-3.png?resize=130%2C95",130,95,true],"full":["https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/coffeejitters.net\/blog\/wp-content\/uploads\/2009\/07\/bird-3.png?fit=1774%2C1268",1774,1268,false]},"jetpack_sharing_enabled":true,"jetpack_shortlink":"https:\/\/wp.me\/p1fDeG-zW","jetpack-related-posts":[{"id":195,"url":"http:\/\/coffeejitters.net\/blog\/2008\/05\/11\/my-mothers-gift\/","url_meta":{"origin":2228,"position":0},"title":"My Mother’s Gift","author":"Judy Schwartz Haley","date":"","format":false,"excerpt":"In 1991 my mom brought home Matt; I was not happy. 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