People ask me what my blog is about, and every time I pause. I know I’m supposed to have an elevator speech prepared, I guess it’s time I start thinking about that.
This blog has been through so many iterations. I started the first CoffeeJitters blog on LiveJournal back in 2001. It’s hard to believe it’s been more than ten years since that first blog post. A lot has changed over that decade.
CoffeeJitters has been a single girl making her way in the world blog, a wedding blog, an infertility blog, a photography blog, a quitting my job and going back to school full time blog, a wow! I’m pregnant! blog, a mommy blog, a cancer blog, and a relearning how to dream after cancer blog.
Mostly, it’s a love letter to my daughter and husband, and an ongoing autobiography. It is my story, and my practice honing my voice. It is my chance to be heard.
I think in a way, that’s what a lot of us bloggers are doing. I keep picturing all the bloggers of the world at their computers furiously typing away in a clackity-clack version of the Whos that Horton heard, yelling at the top of their lungs, “We Exist!”
Blogging allows us to make our mark on the world. To show that we exist. To have a voice and have it heard. To contribute to the ongoing story of the human race.
My studies recently have centered a great deal around women’s history throughout the world, and the difficulty involved in truly understanding what a woman’s life was like. Mens stories were recorded, by men. Women’s stories… not so much.
I look at blogging in comparison to that and I think: what a gift we are leaving for future generations. Is there any comparable resource in history to the wide range of women’s stories now available? Sure, there’s a good deal of exaggeration. That also exists in our history books. But there is so much more variety of stories and lifestyles represented. I’m proud to be a part of this movement. I’m so happy that future generations will have such a wealth of information about their ancestors – us. (On second thought, maybe I’d better go clean up a few of my posts)
The Beautiful Like Me Project was started to discuss self-esteem and body image in today’s youth. WickedStepMom, Tricia at Shout, and Amy at FiveFlowerMom – along with several other bloggers – are tackling this issue over the next few Mondays.
This weeks question: “What do today’s children and teens feel pressured to imitate? Why?”
“Choose your friends wisely, they are what you become.”
I’m not sure where I first heard that quote, but it’s proven itself to be true in my own life. This is true not only of friends, but of family members, colleagues, and even celebrities.
Whenever I stop to think about it, I find it amazing how easily I am influenced. If I spend a few hours with someone with a bad attitude, my attitude starts to tank. While I never lived in the South, a visit below the Mason-Dixon line will leave me with a temporary Southern drawl. It’s not intentional, these things are picked up subconsciously.
Kids imitate those they perceive to be most powerful and respected by others. I do too. Those powerful and respected role models could be anyone from the straight A student, to the playground bully, to celebrity pop stars, and even, on occasion, mom and dad. The pressure to imitate these people is internal rather than external, it’s a survival of the fittest instinct. While kids often intentionally imitate others, just as often, the imitation occurs with no conscious intent at all. We do this without thinking.
So how can we help kids choose better role models? The first step is to help them see where they are imitating others rather than making independent choices. The second step is to encourage them to take a close look at who they are imitating, and decide whether that role model is appropriate for them or not. The third step is to encourage them to determine whether imitation, in this case, is a good idea. Imitation is not always bad, it’s how we learn everything from how to bake bread to how to make friends. However, we need to be conscious of who we are imitating and why. We also need to know when to stop imitating and to blaze our own trails.
Be a good friend and a good influence.
Ten years ago today, Rachel Scott was one of the Columbine High School students murdered in that massacre. Rachel left behind a beautiful legacy. Inspired by her diaries and an essay she wrote shortly before her death, Rachel’s friends and family formed an organization to carry on Rachel’s Challenge to start a chain reaction of good.
Through the course of today, many of us will pause to remember the Columbine tragedy. I encourage you to consider taking this moment to read Rachel’s essay and take Rachel’s Challenge. Understanding how easily people are influenced by each other, remind yourself to be an example of kindness. Rachel’s Challenge
Eliminate Prejudice by looking for the best in others
Why do women, particularly in America, tend to have such skewed body images? How do we raise our daughters to have a healthy self image? WickedStepMom, Tricia at Shout, and Amy at FiveFlowerMom – along with several other bloggers – are tackling this issue over the next few Mondays.
This Week’s Question:
“Does how we look at ourselves effect how the next generation looks at themselves?”
I’m new to the motherhood game, my daughter is only 15 days old, but I’ve put a lot of thought into this over the past nine months, particularly in light of being a mother and a role model. Personally, I think one of the most important things a parent can provide, after safety and nurturing, is a good example. I’ve been working on that lately. When faced with a conundrum, I ask myself “What would I want my daughter to do if she were in this situation?” And that’s what I do. It is surprising to me how often my actions are different after asking this question than they would have been otherwise.
This is particularly relevant when I look at myself. I have a bad habit of beating myself up. I look at the stretchmarks and sagging two weeks postpartum and I want to hide. My husband tells me I’m beautiful and I roll my eyes. I’m frustrated at myself for being nearly 40 and still not finished with my degree.
And then I think of my daughter.
How would I want her to treat herself if she found herself in this situation? I would want her to take care of herself, and honor the fact that pregnancy does change your body. I would want her to be able to see herself through a loving husband’s eyes, and appreciate that he finds her beautiful. I want her to see her own beauty. I want her to understand that while we are each the result of our own choices, choosing to beat yourself up over past choices is much more time consuming and less productive than learning from them and moving on.
Yes, I believe that how we look at ourselves affects the next generation. We are their role models. But in this case, I think I may end up learning just as much from my daughter.
Whidbey Island Writers Association hosts an open house the first Tuesday of every month at the Rockhopper in Clinton. This Tuesday I hopped on a ferry to Whidbey Island to attend the meeting. I’m so glad I did.
The focus of the July meeting was Hedgebrook, a retreat for women writers that is located on Whidbey Island. A thousand women from around the world have been hosted for residencies of two weeks to two months. The retreat can host six women at a time, each in one of six cabins. A seventh cabin hosts an established writer in residence. Gloria Steinem is the most recent writer in the seventh cabin.
The tagline at Hedgebrook is Women Authoring Change.
Gitana Garafalo, Director of Alumnae Relations at Hedgebrook, was the speaker Tuesday night. An engaging speaker, Garafalo was passionate about Hedgebrook and as an alumna herself, she is particularly knowledgeable.
I had the best of intentions to take wonderful notes on all the Hedgebrook details, but upon reviewing my notes I discovered I had, through the course of the meeting, written 4 pages of story ideas and outlined a couple projects. Just sitting in that room full of writers inspired me in my own writing.
To the aspiring writers in the crowd: Have you ever gone out of your way to put yourself in a (real world, not online) room full of writers? If not, I highly recommend you give it a try.
Both Hedgebrook and Whidbey Island Writers Association offer numerous literary events throughout the year. Stop by their websites to see if they offer something that might ring your bell.
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