How to Juggle Cancer and Parenting: Cambria Dodd Russell’s Story

How to Juggle Cancer and Parenting: Cambria Dodd Russell’s Story

Age at diagnosis: 36Diagnosis Date: Sept 2010
Type of Cancer: Triple Negative Breast Cancer, locally advancedstage at diagnosis: Stage 3
Treatment Plan: Neo adjuvant chemo (Carboplatin, Taxol, Avastin, A/C),
bilateral mx, IMRT radiation
Current Status: NED

How did you tell your kids about the cancer diagnosis?

Stage by stage:
chemo: “I have cancer in my breast and need to take medicine to make the cancer go away. The medicine is called chemo.” “I’ll go to the doctor a lot and might get tired. You’ll still go to school everyday. We’ll have dinner together every night….”
surgery: “My doctor is going to take the cancer away in a surgery. When I come home, I’ll be sore and have boo-boos.” We practiced ways we could hug and snuggle that wouldn’t involve my chest – hand hugs, leg hugs, finger hugs.
radiation: “I have to go to radiation every day. Radiation is a lot like having an x-ray. Remember when you had an x-ray after….”

"We practiced ways we could hug and snuggle that wouldn't involve my chest - hand hugs, finger hugs, leg hugs."
Cambria Dodd Russell

How did your kids respond?

My kids were young enough that they didn’t associate cancer with death. They took it in stride and asked many questions along the way. We answered them all honestly. Sometimes they complained that I didn’t always go to swim class with them or other things that they were used to. Sometimes they worried about me, tried to take care of me by getting blankets or food for me. Mostly, they just went about their normal routines.

I think that surgery was the hardest for them. At diagnosis, I had just stopped nursing my 2 year old. He was still quite attached to my breasts. When I showed the kids my scars, he said “no more babies can drink from there anymore. I don’t like it!” They have gotten used to my flat chest and scars now. My oldest even asked why all the mannequins at Victoria’s Secret have breasts. “Not all ladies have breasts!”

What are some things you did that worked really well for your family with regards to dealing with the cancer, and treatment, while raising children?

honesty. I think my kids would have been more scared if they sensed things were different but didn’t know why. We also kept their daycare providers in the loop. We told them the exact language we were using to describe what was happening to me so they could use it too.

Is there anything you wish you’d done differently?

In terms of the kids? No.

How did the impact of cancer change as time passed, and your children grew? Did it change?

My kids still talk about it some. They play “cancer.” One kid pretends to have cancer while the other pretends to be a friend bringing over food. They take care of each other and say things like, “I’m sorry you have cancer. Would you like a leg hug?” Occasionally, something dramatic happens. My oldest recently had a nightmare about a witch plucking out all of my eyebrows and eyelashes. Clearly, it has had an impact. We just keep talking about it.

Do you have concerns about the long term impact of your cancer on your children?

Yes. Long term, I worry about a recurrence, about dying, about leaving my husband with 2 boys to raise on his own. I hope though, that this was just another experience among many in their childhoods. It will, no doubt, impact them. I don’t want it to dominate them though.

What advice would you give to other moms who are diagnosed with cancer?

Tell your kids, talk about it, don’t hide it. Secrecy causes more fear.

What concerns or fears troubled you the most?

that my biological son will get cancer

How did you deal with those fears? 

deep breaths, reality checks

Did you decide to add more children to your family after your diagnosis? How did cancer figure into your decision?

We were already fostering our oldest at diagnosis. We have since adopted him. The process was a little more difficult because of cancer.

What did you do to take care of you? How did you splurge on yourself?

regular spa visits, acupuncture, many dates with friends and hubby for movies or tea, parties

Were you able to get help from friends and family members while you were going through treatment?

Yes. I practically demanded it. The day I was diagnosed I emailed about 100 people. I told them what was happening and that I would need them. My friends then set up committees and divided duties into categories: food, childcare, chemo buddies/medical appts, housekeeping. We used Lots of Helping Hands to keep everything organized. When I needed something, I just contacted the key person for the appropriate category and it materialized.

Was it difficult to ask for help? Do you have any suggestions around the topic of asking for help?

No. I knew that if I didn’t ask for help all of the burden would fall on my husband and mother.

Did you have an online resource that helped you through this experience?

YSC (Young Survival Coalition)

Did cancer/treatment impact your relationship with your spouse/partner?

Yes. I think we are even tighter than before although I didn’t think that was possible.

You can find more on the How to Juggle Cancer and Parenting Series here:

How to Juggle Cancer and Parenting: Janna Thompson’s Story

How to Juggle Cancer and Parenting: Janna Thompson’s Story

Janna Thompson

Age at diagnosis: 37 Diagnosis Date: June 6, 2012
Type of Cancer: Stage II right breast cancer.
2 out of 15 nodes +. TNBC, BRCA1+
Stage at Diagnosis: Stage 2
Treatment Plan: Have gone through surgery,
chemo (6 rounds of TAC). Radiation and more surgery to follow

Janna Thompson

How did you tell your kids about the cancer diagnosis?
We were very up front with our girls. We used a book to show them what we were talking about. We were honest about all of the treatments and surgery. It was horrible for a few days… but it made it a lot less scary for them when each step occurred. The teenager was actually a little more difficult… she hears cancer and automatically thinks death. It took lots of sit down talks with her

How did your kids respond?
The little ones cried the most when I told them I was going to lose my hair. I had very long thick hair and one of their favorite things to do was play with it and style it. The teenager sobbed off and on for days…. and again when we hit any of the numerous “bumps” in the road

What are some things you did that worked really well for your family with regards to dealing with the cancer, and treatment, while raising children?
We involved the little ones as much as they wanted to be involved. We had a head shaving party and they got to shave it with clippers. They wanted to be involved with dressings and drains too so we involved them as much as possible. Let them pick out scarves.

Is there anything you wish you’d done differently?
Not really. I do not regret for a day being as open and honest as we were

How did the impact of cancer change as time passed, and your children grew? Did it change?
I am still in treatment so a tough one to answer. I have had multiple complications with wound healing and have had 4 hospitalizations. Those are tough on the girls because usually Mommy is always there

Do you have concerns about the long term impact of your cancer on your children?
None… other than the fact that I am BRCA1+ which means they could be as well. Me having breast cancer has turned them into amazing, compassionate, strong girls

What advice would you give to other moms who are diagnosed with cancer?
Be as honest as possible. Kids are amazing, adaptive little people. They will read things off of you. If you are open about it, they will normally be open about their feelings. I would tell my girls when I was afraid of something and would at times cry in front of them. This showed them that it was okay to be afraid and cry. Although, I kept my major meltdowns for behind closed doors

What concerns or fears troubled you the most?
Recurrence or my children having the gene

How did you deal with those fears?
One day at a time… it’s all you can do

Have those fears and concerns changed over time?
No

What was your darkest moment?
Leaving my family vacation to be hospitalized…. also leaving from the hospital where my daughter had pretty significant surgery to go directly to another hospital to be admitted for almost a week

What was your best moment?
When I see my kids brag about their mom. when they tell me that I’m beautiful bald and shouldn’t wear anything on my head. My 6 year old chose me for “hero day” at school. I am in the Army Reserves… she asked me to come to her presentation bald with my uniform on. She cried when I walked it she was so excited to share me with her friends and teachers.

Do you have suggestions for other women considering a post- cancer treatment pregnancy, surrogacy, or adoption?
I had a prophylactic total hysterectomy 4 months prior to diagnosis. So, unfortunately I have no recommendations

What did you do to take care of you? How did you splurge on yourself?
Taking care of me has been the biggest struggle. I allow myself time to cry and cope with everything going around. I allow alot more time snuggling with my girls.

Were you able to get help from friends and family members while you were going through treatment?
Somewhat. I don’t have much family in the area, but I had a few friends that were absolutely amazing during treatment

Was it difficult to ask for help? Do you have any suggestions around the topic of asking for help?
Like many women I am my own worst enemy in asking for help. I am a nurse which makes it worse. I am also in the military so am used to being completely independent. My husband, family, and friends stopped waiting for me to ask for help. They just showed up when they knew things were rough. I knew if I told them I didn’t know how I was going to do something…. one of them would be right there

Did you have an online resource that helped you through this experience?
Facebook YSC page was great. American cancer society. I had a case manager through my insurance with a direct line and email

Did cancer/treatment impact your relationship with your spouse/partner?
Yes. Although we have an amazing relationship and have managed to make the necessary changes to our relationship to make it as great as possible under the circumstances

Do you have any relationship advice for young moms dealing with cancer?
Let him see you cry. Let him know that it is ok for him to cry. I have been on both sides of the fence… having cancer and watching a person I love go through it. At times I do not know which is worse. Be as open and honest as possible. Try and laugh about it some of the quirky side effects etc. Laughter is amazing medicine and lets your partner know that it’s okay to laugh

What is something you wish your friends and family members understood about your cancer and its impact on your life? What would you tell the friends and family members of other mom’s diagnosed with cancer? What would you want them to know about what she’s about to go through, and how best they can support her?
One of the biggest things for me was….. Just because I manage to look good (make up, jewelry and a smile) that does NOT mean that I don’t feel miserable. The little things mean a lot… a random text just to say hi. stopping in for coffee, laugh with your loved one… its really ok. Also remember…. despite having cancer and the many changes that go with treatment…. they are still the same person. Try to support, but don’t make life revolve around cancer

Were there any cancer-related activities or events in which you participated that you think were especially helpful to you or members of your family?
I signed up for Making Strides within a few weeks of being diagnosed. It made me feel somewhat in control. It also gave me as well as my family and friends something to focus on. It was an amazing experience

Are there any resources that you recommend?
Cleaning for a Reason
Breast Cancer Treatment Handbook: Understanding the Disease, Treatments, Emotions, and Recovery from Breast Cancer by Judy Kneece. She also writes an amazing partner handbook. Easy to read and great illustrations that you can use for kids

What are some solutions you found to practical problems of combining cancer treatment with raising young children?
I usually bribed with a special snack or extra snuggle time with Mommy. The snuggle time was the big seller. I also praised them continually when they were really good or did extra stuff to be helpful. It empowered them to feel that they had some control over things… and were helping mommy heal.

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You can find more on the How to Juggle Cancer and Parenting Series here:

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How to Juggle Cancer and Parenting: Angela Bass’ Story

How to Juggle Cancer and Parenting: Angela Bass’ Story

Age at diagnosis:
31
Diagnosis Date:
Aug 2011
Type of Cancer: 
Breast cancer – Stage 2B/3A Invasive Ductal Carcinoma
with lymph node involvement, Her2 positive, highly aggressive
stage at diagnosis: 
Stage 2b
Treatment Plan:
adjuvant chemotherapy, double mastectomy, expanders,
followed by gated radiation & an additional 6 months
of Herceptin infusions
Current Status: 
NED, baby!!

Angela Bass
How did you tell your kids about the cancer diagnosis?
I told my 3,3 and 4 year olds that Mommy was going to be sick for the Fall and will feel better in the Spring. We explained that Grandma was going to stay with us for awhile so she could play with them while I was at doctor appointments.

How did your kids respond?
They responded REALLY well. We made the head-shaving day into a party. We took tons of pictures and my kids helped pick pictures for my cancer blog.

What are some things you did that worked really well for your family with regards to dealing with the cancer, and treatment, while raising children?
I told them what I knew. I didn’t overload them with information. I faked it.
After the first treatment, I knew I would not be very active about 2-3 days after treatment. I would tell them that I was going to chemo and that I would be ready to play with them in 2 days. Until then, my husband and my mom kept them busy at the park or on day trips. They didn’t really ever see me sick.

Is there anything you wish you’d done differently?
Nope.

How did the impact of cancer change as time passed, and your children grew? Did it change?
Right now, they are obsessed with cancer ribbons and people with cancer. They are caring. They are blissfully unaware that I may have a recurrence one day. I think they think everyone goes through this at one point in their lives.

Do you have concerns about the long term impact of your cancer on your children?
I’m afraid I will die of cancer and my children will lose their mother.

What advice would you give to other moms who are diagnosed with cancer?
Be honest, but keep details to a minimum. Don’t talk about dying.
Keep the kids out of the Oncologist’s office, chemo room, etc. They don’t need to see or remember that.
Spend as much time cuddling your kids as possible even though you may not feel like it.
They are feeding off you. They sense your fear and they need to know that you’re still there.

What concerns or fears troubled you the most?
repeat scans, aches and pains

How did you deal with those fears?
honesty, anti-anxiety meds, blogging

Have those fears and concerns changed over time?
I don’t worry as much. I reach out to God when I start to worry.
I appreciate every day.

What was your best moment?
Finding out they got all the bad cells out during my mastectomy.

What did you do to take care of you? How did you splurge on yourself?
I didn’t really do anything. I wasn’t in the mood for much, other than a little shopping here and there.

Were you able to get help from friends and family members while you were going through treatment?
Yes! My neighbors set up a meal train, Pink Daisy helped me a ton and my mom stayed with us to help me with the kids so my husband could still work.

Was it difficult to ask for help? Do you have any suggestions around the topic of asking for help?
I was horrible about asking for help. I have no idea how to do it gracefully.

Did you have an online resource that helped you through this experience?
just google, I googled EVERYTHING

Did cancer/treatment impact your relationship with your spouse/partner?
It made our marriage stronger; he’s my biggest cheerleader.

Do you have any relationship advice for young moms dealing with cancer?
Be patient. Your family isn’t psychic and they have no idea what you are going through mentally and physically. When you feel like exploding, take a deep breath. They’re trying….and this is probably harder on them than it is on you.

What is something you wish your friends and family members understood about your cancer and its impact on your life? What would you tell the friends and family members of other mom’s diagnosed with cancer? What would you want them to know about what she’s about to go through, and how best they can support her?
No one understands the constant fears that are always in the back of your mind. Every ache, cough, pain may be a sign that the beast is back.
Just because you have completed treatment, it’s never really over.

Were there any cancer-related activities or events in which you participated that you think were especially helpful to you or members of your family?
The Susan G Komen walk in Minneapolis was amazing! The amount of survivors and supporters was such an inspiration. I will go yearly!

Are there any resources that you recommend?
my blog!
I talk to tons of people who are undergoing cancer treatments. I have had almost 150,000 page views in a little over a year.
It’s amazing how many people reach out to the internet to find answers and someone to relate to.
I blogged from the day I was diagnosed and posted pics throughout the entire process.

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You can find more on the How to Juggle Cancer and Parenting Series here:

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How to Juggle Cancer and Parenting: Becky E’s Story

How to Juggle Cancer and Parenting: Becky E’s Story

Age at diagnosis: 34 Diagnosis Date: 2010
Type of Cancer: Breast cancer – DCIS with microinvasion Stage at Diagnosis: Stage 1
Treatment Plan: Bilateral mastectomy Current Status: cancer-free (I pray)!

How to Juggle Cancer and Parenting: Becky E's Story

How did you tell your kids about the cancer diagnosis?

Shared very limited details but just told them that mommy would have a surgery to get rid of some disease growing inside my body. My baby was only 3 months old.

How did your kids respond?

They didn’t seem to care but were VERY good at giving gentle hugs after surgery.

What are some things you did that worked really well for your family with regards to dealing with the cancer, and treatment, while raising children?

Lots of outside support.

Is there anything you wish you’d done differently?

Nope

How did the impact of cancer change as time passed, and your children grew? Did it change?

they don’t really know much still.

Do you have concerns about the long term impact of your cancer on your children?

Yes. I’m most concerned for my daughter and how she’ll associate her own body when looking at mine. She’ll understand when she’s older

What advice would you give to other moms who are diagnosed with cancer?

Take time, breathe, and find ways to smile and laugh.

What concerns or fears troubled you the most?

recurrence

How did you deal with those fears?

Deal every day. It’s a very scary world.

Have those fears and concerns changed over time?

No

What was your darkest moment?

No super dark moments per se.

What was your best moment?

Post surgery to find out that no nodes were involved.

Did you decide to add more children to your family after your diagnosis? How did cancer figure into your decision?

No more children were planned but had nothing to do with cancer. We wanted 3 and we have them. I’m grateful.

What did you do to take care of you? How did you splurge on yourself?

I’m not sure I have.

Were you able to get help from friends and family members while you were going through treatment?

Yes. A lot. I am surrounded by amazing people.

Was it difficult to ask for help? Do you have any suggestions around the topic of asking for help?

People will offer. When they do, say yes. And be sure to pay it forward.

Did you have an online resource that helped you through this experience?

YSC! While I’m not very active in the group, reading the site and the FB page is a huge, huge help.

Did cancer/treatment impact your relationship with your spouse/partner?

Not in a huge way.

Do you have any relationship advice for young moms dealing with cancer?

Laugh. Remember to connect with each other. Laugh some more.

What is something you wish your friends and family members understood about your cancer and its impact on your life? What would you tell the friends and family members of other mom’s diagnosed with cancer? What would you want them to know about what she’s about to go through, and how best they can support her?

Recurrence is a real fear and something that comes up a lot. Help to keep me smiling and laughing and I’ll do the same for you!

Were there any cancer-related activities or events in which you participated that you think were especially helpful to you or members of your family?

No.. not really. I do Race for the Cure each year. It’s taken on a new meaning.

Are there any resources that you recommend?

For young women – YSC.

What are some solutions you found to practical problems of combining cancer treatment with raising young children?

I had lots of help and would have people help put my daughter close to me to snuggle.

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You can find more on the How to Juggle Cancer and Parenting Series here:

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How to Juggle Cancer and Parenting: Roxanne Haller’s Story

How to Juggle Cancer and Parenting: Roxanne Haller’s Story

Age at diagnosis: 28 Diagnosis Date: Feb 2006
Type of Cancer: Breast cancer – Right Breast Metaplastic
Carcinoma with transitions to spindle cells.
stage at diagnosis: Stage 1
Treatment Plan: Lumpectomy, chemotherapy and radiation Current Status: Cancer Free!!!!

How to Juggle Cancer and Parenting: Roxanne Haller

How did you tell your kids about the cancer diagnosis?

Because my husband’s grandmother of cancer had died just 2 months prior, and my son had a difficult time with her death, we were very reluctant to tell him I had ‘cancer’ at first. We initially told him that Mommy had some very bad germs in her ‘chi chi’ and (because originally I was told I needed to have a mastectomy) we told him that the doctor was going to have to remove my ‘chi chi’ to get rid of the germs. That changed and I had lumpectomy instead.

We told him that Mommy needed to take some strong medicine that was going to make her very sick and tired, but through it all, no matter what, I still loved him. I was going to need lots of help taking care of him, and that I needed him to help take care of me sometimes. We also shared a book with him called ‘Mommy has cancer’.

How did your kids respond?

My son is very empathetic. He was very in tune with my emotions and could sense when I was sad or sick and would hug and love on me. He did at first check inside of my shirt to see if my breasts were still there. We tried to not tell him ever that mommy might die, so as not to worry him about that. But, we did want him to understand the seriousness and that I would be very sick.

What are some things you did that worked really well for your family with regards to dealing with the cancer, and treatment, while raising children?

My parents went through a divorce at the time of my treatment, so my mother came to live with me. It was wonderful to have another adult in the house to help with the burdens of keeping house and taking care of a toddler. I realize not everyone has this option, but essentially, I think we need to ask for help and allow people to help. We have to be a little selfish and take care of ourselves. If we don’t take care of our own health and mental well being, we are not able to be there wholly for our children. I did one thing that I am so glad I did. I had photographs taken of my son kissing my bald head. It is a physical reminder for us all to cherish every day. I also feel that it was a lesson to my son (and myself) that we are not our appearances. We shouldn’t judge people by the way they look because you don’t know what they are enduring.

Is there anything you wish you’d done differently?

I have no regrets about my journey with cancer, ultimately it has been a tremendous blessing in my life. It taught me a lifetime of lessons of faith, strength and love.

How did the impact of cancer change as time passed, and your children grew? Did it change?

I am well now, and have been blessed with another child. However, my son who was 3 when I was diagnosed is now 10. He does ask questions and seems concerned whenever I go to the doctor or have routine scans or mammograms. I try not to worry him, but ask him to pray for me. Cancer allowed faith into our family. God had not been a part of our daily lives, in fact I avoided the mention of ‘God’ at all cost before cancer. I didn’t want my son to have such ‘fairy tales’ shoved down his throat. But, cancer was a pathway to Christ for our family. It has changed the way I parent, and the wife that I am. And, has allowed us all to examine the purpose in our lives.

Do you have concerns about the long term impact of your cancer on your children?

Yes. I guess I feel SLIGHTLY less concerned in that I have male children. I realize they do have an increased risk for breast cancer, but I also worry about their overall cancer risk.

What advice would you give to other moms who are diagnosed with cancer?

Have faith, take care of yourself, allow others to help you. Let go of the idea of the perfect house and perfect parenting. You can only be a parent if you are alive to do it…so take care of your health. Find people you trust, whether through churches or schools whom you trust to help you take care of your children when you aren’t well enough. Be honest with your children, but try not to burden them with adult worries.

What concerns or fears troubled you the most?

At first, I was so worried about what my son would do without a mother, and that I would financially devastate my family. I was worried that my husband would have problems with my new body.

How did you deal with those fears?

Ultimately, I found a faith that allowed me to lay those problems at the feet of Jesus. It allowed me freedom from many of those worries and a focus on getting well. My husband was very supportive and my worries became unfounded. Friends blessed me by having benefits in my honor to help with the financial burdens.

Have those fears and concerns changed over time?

Yes. I now have another baby. I worry that something will happen to my husband and that I will fall ill and my children will be left without parents.

What was your darkest moment?

My darkest moment was the day I was diagnosed. I had suffered a miscarriage 2 1/2 months prior. My primary focus was having another child. When the surgeon told me I had cancer and I asked her if I would ever have another baby, she hesitated and said, ‘not for a very long time.’ I asked her if I was going to die, she told me not if we treated this very quickly and aggressively.

That day, my friends came over. I felt like I was numb, and that the world was happening around me while I was stuck in a nightmare. People were crying and cleaning my house around me. I felt like I was at my own wake.

What was your best moment?

Easy…accepting the Lord, Jesus Christ as my savior. Calling on him in my most desperate time to heal me, to take my cancer, my fear and my anxiety. And he responded with an inexplicable peace.

Did you decide to add more children to your family after your diagnosis? How did cancer figure into your decision?

No one highly recommended that I have more children, although my cancer was hormone negative. I did look into freezing eggs before I started treatment, but ultimately decided we couldn’t afford it. I did look into some clinical studies and found that taking Zoladex, even though I was triple negative, was found to preserve ovarian function in most women under 40. So, after being refused the zoladex by my oncologist, I sought the help of my gynecologist who did give me the zoladex treatments. It put me into menopause for the time of my treatment. 2 months after stopping the Zoladex, my cycles returned. And after about 3 years, my husband and I stopped trying to avoid pregnancy. I became pregnant 4 years after my diagnosis.

What did you do to take care of you? How did you splurge on yourself?

Baths and naps. I bought myself scarfs and wigs (although rarely wore them) and also, relatives sent me money to do what I wanted with them, so I treated myself to some comfortable pajamas.

Was it difficult to ask for help? Do you have any suggestions around the topic of asking for help?

You just have to suck up your pride, and take people up on their offers to help. People feel out of control quite often, but want to do something. I usually just asked people to pray for me, or to just visit with me.

Did you have an online resource that helped you through this experience?

Hands down, most valuable was the Young Survival Coalition at www.youngsurvival.org

Did cancer/treatment impact your relationship with your spouse/partner?

Yes, it taught us to prioritize our lives. It made us closer and tighter and stronger and put us on the same page spiritually. I felt very guilty at the beginning. I kept apologizing to my husband that he didn’t sign up for the one boobed bald headed wife. But, he loves me and that shone through.

Do you have any relationship advice for young moms dealing with cancer?

Be honest about your feelings, and allow your spouse to be honest about theirs. This is difficult for all of us and they are going through it too. I often felt like it was harder for my husband, because at least I felt like I was doing something about it. He just had to stand by…he felt that he had to hide his emotions and fear and be the rock for me.

What is something you wish your friends and family members understood about your cancer and its impact on your life? What would you tell the friends and family members of other mom’s diagnosed with cancer? What would you want them to know about what she’s about to go through, and how best they can support her?

I wish the people would not send me information that suggests that I might have caused my cancer by some behavior. I wish that people would understand that stress causes a breeding ground for cancer and that I don’t want to deal with other people’s drama. I would tell other friends and family to help…out of love, not control, to not tell the patient that it’s all in their mind. I would tell them to pray for and with the person suffering and remind them how much they are loved. I would tell them that no matter how many people there are supporting them, the patient often feels alone, and that no one truly understands what they are going through. Allow them that feeling, but remind them that you are there for them if they need to talk. Allow them to complain. It sucks, it’s sickening, it’s painful at times, its terrifying. Don’t try to rob them of their right to their fears and pain. Don’t tell them about everyone you know who died of cancer. Don’t pretend to know everything about their cancer.

Were there any cancer-related activities or events in which you participated that you think were especially helpful to you or members of your family?

Reach to recovery was helpful initially, but really just building one on one relationships with other YOUNG survivors and really making connections with other women with same concerns. I began speaking at events, such as Making Strides Against Breast Cancer also sharing at churches and with other people in waiting rooms etc.

Are there any resources that you recommend?

I didn’t use, but highly recommend The Pink Daisy Project, Young Survival Coalition, American Cancer Society. My favorite book was “Love, Medicine and Miracles” by Bernie Siegel and also Mommy has Cancer, can’t remember the author.

What are some solutions you found to practical problems of combining cancer treatment with raising young children?

I was blessed with an incredible support system. The problems I had were more my own. I had to learn to accept ‘good enough’. I had to learn to sometimes put myself first, and allow my husband to just be a father the way he wanted to…to be the primary care taker. It was also very important to me that I did not promise my son that I would not die, as that was a possibility. What I wanted him to know was that I would love him no matter what. So, I started telling him that ‘I love you all the time.’ I told him I loved him no matter where I was, or where he was, no matter what the time of day, whether we were young or old, or whether he could see me or not.

You can find more on the How to Juggle Cancer and Parenting Series here:

manage cancer and parenting