It’s so very much like my daughter chasing these bubbles around the park – yet so [...]]]> Writing has been difficult lately. I feel like I’m chasing soap bubbles, and the moment I grasp a nugget, a train of thought, an approach, an angle, it disappears into nothingness before I can pin it to paper.

It’s so very much like my daughter chasing these bubbles around the park – yet so different.

First, I’m not having as much fun (I need to do something about that).

Second, my failure to grasp these bubbles, and manipulate them into a cohesive thesis, has consequenses.

Just a few more days, I can count it in hours now, till this semester is done. The last paper and final are friday; then I can exhale.

And then I can chase the bubbles just for fun.

WW Linkup
Every week I host a photo linkup where we share posts featuring a photo. It started out being called Wordless Wednesday, but… Bloggers? Wordless? Then we started calling it Wordy Wednesday. Now we just abreviate to WW, and you pick for yourself whether or not to get wordy.

Link up your photo post below to share, and we’ll be by to visit.

More Blogs Hosting WW Linkups

People ask me what my blog is about, and every time I pause. I know I’m supposed to have an elevator speech prepared, I guess it’s time I start thinking about that.

This blog has been through so many iterations. I started the first CoffeeJitters blog on LiveJournal back in 2001. It’s hard to [...]]]>

People ask me what my blog is about, and every time I pause. I know I’m supposed to have an elevator speech prepared, I guess it’s time I start thinking about that.

This blog has been through so many iterations. I started the first CoffeeJitters blog on LiveJournal back in 2001. It’s hard to believe it’s been more than ten years since that first blog post. A lot has changed over that decade.

CoffeeJitters has been a single girl making her way in the world blog, a wedding blog, an infertility blog, a photography blog, a quitting my job and going back to school full time blog, a wow! I’m pregnant! blog, a mommy blog, a cancer blog, and a trying to relearn how to dream after cancer blog.

Mostly, it’s a love letter to my daughter and husband, and an ongoing autobiography. It is my story, and my practice honing my voice. It is my chance to be heard.

I think in a way, that’s what a lot of us bloggers are doing. I keep picturing all the bloggers of the world at their computers furiously typing away in a clackity-clack version of the Whos that Horton heard, yelling at the top of their lungs, “We Exist!”

Blogging allows us to make our mark on the world. To show that we exist. To have a voice and have it heard. To contribute to the ongoing story of the human race.

My studies recently have centered a great deal around women’s history throughout the world, and the difficulty involved in truly understanding what a woman’s life was like. Mens stories were recorded, by men. Women’s stories… not so much.

I look at blogging in comparison to that and I think: what a gift we are leaving for future generations. Is there any comparable resource in history to the wide range of women’s stories now available? Sure, there’s a good deal of exaggeration. That also exists in our history books. But there is so much more variety of stories and lifestyles represented. I’m proud to be a part of this movement. I’m so happy that future generations will have such a wealth of information about their ancestors – us. (On second thought, maybe I’d better go clean up a few of my posts)

Days after my diagnosis, before I learned to reign in my imagination and to view Dr.Google for what it [...]]]> In the cold, dark, fear of 3 a.m., when the cancer patient is most alone, I found ToddlerPlanet, a blog written by cancer fighting princess warrior, awesome mommy, and astrophysicist, Susan Niebur (also known as @whymommy).

Days after my diagnosis, before I learned to reign in my imagination and to view Dr.Google for what it is, I found Susan’s blog. I read for hours: post after post, page after page. It seemed she was speaking directly to me, addressing my personal concerns about life, death, love, cancer, and most important to me at that moment, the well being of my child.  No sensationalism, just an honest look at life and parenting as impacted by cancer.

It would be difficult and frustrating, and at times, extremely painful, she seemed to say, but my days would still be full of love and joy, and I can still be an awesome mom, and my child can still be happy. I read those pages through tears; I was so relieved and hopeful. In the two years since then, we formed an internet friendship, tweeting and commenting on each other’s blog posts. The internet has made possible friendships between people who have never met.

Who will never meet.

Today I read her blog again through tears. Susan passed away today. She touched so many lives, her husband and little boys, her friends and family, the science community, the blogging community, the cancer and health advocacy community… and me, a girl at a computer Seattle, whose life was blessed by knowing her, even though we never met.

Is it just me, or does the moon seem to be a bit bigger and brighter tonight? I’m going to think of it as Susan’s moon.

Thank you, Susan, for the love and hope and strength you shared with all of us. Godspeed.

LiveOn is a great idea, a means of cataloging and preserving your life stories, or those of your loved ones. There [...]]]> Every once in a while, I come across a product, tool, or service where it’s best use might not be that for which it was intended. At the moment, LiveOn might be one of those tools.

LiveOn is a great idea, a means of cataloging and preserving your life stories, or those of your loved ones. There are a number of different ways this can be done within the site. There is a timeline in which you can create slide-shows to tell stories from your life,  there are question prompts to which you can respond by video or text to help you share a little more about who you are, and there is a time capsule so that you can create a message to be sent to someone at some point in the future.

Unfortunately, they don’t quite deliver the quality I would expect. Yet. LiveOn is a new product that just became available to the public, so they still have a few kinks to work out.  For instance, the system works quite slowly with regards to photos, and then once uploaded, even the largest photos display poorly. It would be quite frustrating to spend all that time uploading and then have such poor quality photos to show for your hard work.

I have, however, gone ahead and recommended this service to a few different people I know of who are sadly in a situation where they need to record as much of their lives as quickly as possible so the information is available for their young children.  It’s hard to sit down and tell your life story, but LiveOn provides prompts and the timeline feature to help you find ways to get it out there. As of yet, it’s far from perfect, but trying to tell the story of your life can be daunting. The person who feels pressed for time, or completely overwhelmed might find in this service just the boost they need.

Here’s where the best use of the product comes in: for my memoirist and novelist friends, LiveOn would make a magnificent tools for outlining life events, and fleshing out personality details of your characters, and it can do so for multiple characters. The timelines and question prompts would be particularly useful in this case.

LiveOn is free, with optional paid upgrade features. They also have a paid service called LiveOn Rewind where you can ship your photographs to them, and they will upload the photos for you. If you are interested in giving this service a shot, you can use this coupon code for a 20% discount: cgc42

It still needs some work, but keep your eye on LiveOn.  I think if they can work out some of these kinks, they will have a wonderful product.

…

Thank you to LiveOn for this sponsored opportunity to blog about storing and sharing my most important memories with those closest to me. Although story ideas were provided, all thoughts and opinions are my own. Please click here to learn more about storing and sharing your most special memories. I was selected for this sponsorship by Clever Girls Collective. All opinions expressed here are my own.

And now, from around the interwebs…

TV: yes! really! I was on CNN! So here’s the deal: [...]]]> All the benefits of a robust metropolis and yet, nestled between the mountains and the Salish Sea, it takes no effort at all to let nature envelope you in Seattle.

And now, from around the interwebs…

Me: As Seen On…

TV: yes! really! I was on CNN! So here’s the deal: I got an opportunity to say thank you, and help tell the story of a woman who was there for me while I was going through the worst of my cancer treatment. Debbie Cantwell created The Pink Daisy Project to pay it forward after her own bout with cancer. She helped me at a time when the expense and exhaustion of getting through cancer treatment was really wearing me down. She sent gift cards so I could get food, diapers, and gas, and she hired some people to come clean my home.  It’s hard enough to keep your home clean with a toddler – add the side effects of cancer treatment, and it’s overwhelming.

From what I understand, out of the 25 heroes highlighted throughout the year, CNN will be selecting 10 finalists  for the awards ceremony. Web traffic and buzz are considered in their selection criteria – so the more you view and share this story, the more you like or recommend it on Facebook, and the more you comment on the story there on the CNN website, the better the odds that Debbie will be selected as one of the finalists.  As a result of the story so far, Debbie has already received an increase in donations to help more women. She also received a significant increase in requests for help.  As we get the word out more, Debbie will be able to help more and more women. And that’s the whole point.

There is also a second video; this one is even longer and shows more of my family.

.

Darrah Parker Photography: We met up with Darrah at Ravenna Park on a sunny afternoon, and she took the most beautiful pictures of us.  My little family was hot and tired, and bordering on cranky, but Darrah found the best in us. We had a grand time posing for photos, and the results are just lovely.

Awesome stuff I found while I was pretending to be busy

It Matters: Mama Wants This explores the unexpected ways her life has has been enriched by blogging, and the unexpected ways in which she has been hurt by blogging.

The Aums: a discussion of that emotionally charged issue of, gasp, body image.

Dog Days of Summer: Northwest Mommy hosts guest blogger, Diane LeBleu, and her discussion of starting a business, getting a dog, breast cancer, and other bad ideas.

Peanut  Butter in my Hair: finding beauty in unexpected places

The Days Pass: Susan of Toddler Planet is one of my heroes. She’s battling her fourth cancer in four years; this time it’s metastatic. She writes so beautifully about balancing her pain management so that she can tolerate the pain, yet still savor the moments with her husband and young children.

People who have known me for a long time may not realize how shy I can be. But the truth is, especially in cocktail hour, conference-type settings, I’m awkward silence girl.  These events stir up all kinds of anxieties [...]]]> Yes, I’m the shy girl. You, in the back, that just snorted – I heard that.

People who have known me for a long time may not realize how shy I can be. But the truth is, especially in cocktail hour, conference-type settings, I’m awkward silence girl.  These events stir up all kinds of anxieties in me. I sit there and rack my brain trying to think of something to say – and the harder I think, the longer and more awkward the silence gets, which makes it even harder to think of something to say. It’s a deep, and endless spiral.  And that’s if I manage NOT to blurt out something stupid, or nonsensical, or inappropriate, or offensive.

Conversing is so different from writing. There’s no opportunity to edit while you are speaking. Time delays are built in to written conversations, and expected, even when chatting or tweeting. But when you’re in a live, real world conversation, all bets are off. You’re out there, on your own, flying without a net.

Wine helps. A little.

More wine helps a little more.

Even more wine helps me nap right where I’m standing.

Unfortunately, most conferences start before the cocktail hour. But seriously, I do need to learn how to participate in a conversation without that kind of lubricant.

How do you do it?  How do you keep a conversation going? Even if it’s with someone you’ve been dying to meet for years. Especially if it’s with someone you’ve been dying to meet for years.

How do you bridge the gap between standing alone in the center of a packed room, and walking up to someone, or a group of someones, and saying “hi” – and then what do you say next?

My pulse is racing while I write this. It’s a terrifying prospect for me.

I spent the day Saturday at Bloggy Boot Camp Seattle, which was, in a word, Awesome. But it was also, among other things, a networking event: talking required. I learned a lot – but of course, one of the biggest benefits of such an event is the opportunity to meet other bloggers.  That meant sticking my hand out, and walking up to someone to introduce myself. And I did it! Most of the time without tripping over my own feet, or getting too terribly tongue tied.

There were still those moments where I stood in the middle of the room and surveyed groupings of people deep in conversation. What were they talking about? Could I easily join this conversation? Was anyone else also looking for someone to talk to? Or were they, like me, pretending to look busy so they didn’t look pathetic in the middle of the room silently trying to figure out who to talk to and how to start a conversation?

One of the brilliant bits of planning on the parts of the amazing ladies who organized this conference, was assigned seating that changed with each presentation.  This meant that every couple hours or so, I was at a different table with a different group of bloggers, and it made it so much easier to make introductions, start conversations, and meet a larger number of people.

And the people who attended this event were just wonderful. From the moment I showed up to check in, an hour late (another story for another time), I was overwhelmed by just how amazing and, more importantly for me, approachable, everyone was. Superstar-blogger MamaKat has been one of my blogging heroes for years, and she got up and gave me a giant hug when we finally met at the conference. JennyOnTheSpot sat down next to me at lunch, and actually got me to talk a bit about myself to the table.

So many amazing people, and I’m still a little start struck and in awe of the entire event.

I learned a lot, too.  Not that I have actually applied anything I learned yet. For instance, Danae Handy and MamaKat led an amazing breakout session on writing. They didn’t just tell us to apply the narrative arc to everything we write; they actually showed us how to apply it to a blog post. For instance, this infernal post that you have been reading forever because it just wont end (thank you for sticking with me, by the way) would fit beautifully into a hero’s journey format.

I would be the hero (I like the sound of that), and my quest would be to summon the courage to make more connections (and maybe even friends) at a networking event, the antagonist would be my shyness and insecurities, my allies would be the other amazing people at the blog conference and the speakers who all seemed to do a great job of building my confidence as well.

I would build the story in ever increasing waves of tension as you follow along through my attempts to initiate and navigate through conversations, and triumph with me as I leave the conference with a head full of great ideas, a belly full of wonderful wines,  fists full of schwag and the business cards of other bloggers, and most importantly, my confidence through the roof.  In the end my anxiety would be vanquished, and I would be the queen of the bloggers (or at least the queen of CoffeeJitters.Net) and then my allies would be rewarded with loads of link love (which I’ll try to do anyway). Those things happened, I just didn’t write the post that way. But I can totally see now how that structure would improve this monstrosity.

See, I get it Danae. I really do. But, I also know myself well enough to know that any thoughts of rewriting this 1000+ word post are little puffs of nothingness that will never happen – especially while I”m in the middle of this 4000 mile road trip. So the post goes up as is.

The conference was worth every penny, and worth every moment of awkwardness. I feel a little more confident in what I’m doing as a blogger, no one bit me or gave me a why-the-hell-are-you-talking-to-me look while I was at the conference, I made some new friends, and now it’s time to put this post to bed and get some sleep. We’ve got a long drive ahead of us tomorrow. The next post will come from 600 to 900 miles away, and maybe from a different country. Not sure yet. We’re flying by the seat of our pants.

Seattle is making a name for itself with it’s foodie culture, but many may not know about the amazing food being served up on wheels around the area.  There are, of course, the traditional taco trucks, but [...]]]> Why is it that food purchased from the side of a truck always seems to taste better?

Seattle is making a name for itself with it’s foodie culture, but many may not know about the amazing food being served up on wheels around the area.  There are, of course, the traditional taco trucks, but keep your eyes peeled for Thai trucks and Pho trucks, as well.

A day like this is heaven – Skillet and Molly Moon‘s Ice Cream parked right next to each other.

Hello Cholesterol!

And now, from around the interwebs…

Me: As Seen On…

GalTime: The Next Big One: How to be prepared – One of the best ways to help your entire community in time of crisis is to be prepared for that crisis yourself: learn first aid, get certified in CPR, and prepare a disaster kit sufficient to care for your entire household for at least three days. Each person, or family, with their own emergency food, water, and other supplies relieves the stress of support services trying to help those without. In this article, I give some guidelines and pointers for preparing yourself and your family for the next big emergency.

The SITS Girls: Inspire the Best in You – I was one of the leads on the Inspire the Best in You: Letting Go project by the amazing girls at SITS, and my post on Letting Go of the Illusion of Control was highlighted. Thank you so much for this honor.

Awesome People Who Linked to me Recently

(If you do link to me, let me know, most of the time I stumble across these links by accident.)

Studio30+ linked to my post on Letting Go of the Illusion of Control on their Sunday Spotlight.

Awesome stuff I found while I was procrastinating on my homework

Hamster Central: One Month – I’ve been following Jen’s blog for a couple years now. She lives in Tokyo. This quick check-in, one month after the devastating earthquake and tusnami, came with news that the cherry blossoms are in full bloom. Cherry blossoms signify the ephemeral qualities of life. Hope Blooms.

Northwest Ladybug: A Beautiful Day on the University of Washington Campus – I truly believe that the UW campus is one of the most beautiful in the world. These photos are a gorgeous illustration. We’re so lucky to live here.

All Adither: Mommy Blogger – Angie struggles with the label “Mommy Blogger.” I struggle with that, too. Sure, I write a lot about my kid these days, I consider parenting her the most important thing of everything I do, so naturally it will bleed in to my writing. But it’s not all there is to me. I also tend to struggle against labels in general, but I understand that, as humans, we like to categorize things. Where do you stand on the label?

Miss Britt: Everything you wanted to know about the big trip – I’ve written about this before, but it has really captured my imagination. Britt and her husband and kids are about to sally forth in a motor home, and explore the country for a year. Every time I think about this, my brain spins. So many questions. How to pay the bills? What about the kids? Here Britt supplies some answers, and even more fodder for my imagination as I ponder what adventure is next for my little family.

Not Martha: a weekend on Guemes Island – This post is actually a couple months old, but I’ve revisited it several times. I’ve been feeling the need to get away lately. To pack up my little family and go somewhere quiet, surrounded by nature – and the water. To hear water lapping against rocks, and birds singing and chattering in the morning. To let go of deadlines and due dates, even if just for a weekend, and sink in to a deep tub, or sink my teeth into a sinfully decadent yet simple dinner. To read a book for pleasure – without taking notes. Sigh. One of these days…