My kid says some funny stuff, and every year I post a round-up of some of her best lines.
G: I can be anything I want when I grow up?
Me: Sure, what do you want to be?
G: A unicorn
Me: wanna watch a movie?
G: No. I must rule the world.
Me: you talk about being a princess a lot. do you ever think about being an engineer or a teacher?
G: Princesses never lie to their mommies
thus endeth the career counseling session
g: “I’m gonna be a kid for a long time?”
me: “yep, you are going to be a kid for a long time.”
g: “I love being a kid! Grownups work while kids play.”
G: Do you know what my superpower is?
Me: What is it?
G: writing… and thinking. oh, and snoring.
G has decided that now that she is a kid instead of a baby, we are going to have to change the nicknames by which we refer to her. The list is long and I won’t go through them all, but Baby is out, Sweetpea is still ok, and on and on.
So what do you really want me to call you? I asked.
Genevieve. Or you can call me the Judge.
That’s my girl!
G, on the way to the party last night: “I’m bringing the party with me, I carry it in my heart.”
G, fists in the air: “Even though I small on the outside, I big and powerful on the inside!”
“I want to keep doing this mischief thing forever”
G’s word of the day: Accigently – when you make a mistake, but do it carefully
G: DADDY! daddy DADDY! daddy
Me: Genevieve! Daddy’s office is not a yelling place
G: I was trying to find him using echo location
“when I see a baby, the love goes right into my heart and then I sing it out”
Me: when you wake up tomorrow, it will be your last day of being 4
G: Oh, good, I’m REALLY tired of being 4
G, to another kid at the playground: “That’s my mom and dad over there, and they both love me and I both love them.”
“it’s a good day for dancing”
Very angry little girl in time out: I’m just going to take a sharp saw and cut off my room from the rest of the house and sail away.
apparently she likes to travel in style: with dress-up clothes, fancy bed, and toys.
G: what does BFF mean?
Me: that means Best Friends Forever
G: like you and me?
G, clinging to my back: “Can you turn your head around and look at me?”
Me: “no, my head only goes side to side, it doesn’t go to the back”
G, grabbing head: “I can fix that”
Just one of the many things that my kid says that would totally creep me out if it was anyone else
G: I would be happy to trade my computer for your computer
Me: my computer isn’t working very well right now.
G: Then I will trade this lego figure for your computer
G: close your eyes and I will sing you a lullaby so you can sleep better tonight
Me: awww, that’s sweet
G: ♫ Old McDonald Had a Farm… ♩ ♬
For the love of books
G: I want to give these books to other kids who don’t have any books.
Me: That’s a very nice thing to do.
G: Well, these books are bad
Me: why are they bad?
G: Well it’s not nice to hop on people, its not nice to mess up people’s houses, and kids should never cross the street without holding a grownup’s hand
G picked up an English/Russian dictionary and tried to read it. After a few frustrated minutes, she throws it down, stomps away, and pouts with her arms folded across her chest…
I ask her about it…
G: “that book is for a different day”
“when you learn about light, that’s called light reading”
G just told me she is writing a book. The title: The world of make believe is real… ly cool
People just don’t measure up to animals
G, reading a book about different kinds of birds: “not all birds lay eggs”
Me: “sure they do, all different kinds of birds lay eggs”
G: “the boys don’t”
the kid is campaigning for a pet at our new place, so I asked her what kind of pet she wants
me: do you want a pet rhinoceros?
G: no that’s to big
me: how about a pet whale?
G: no that would splash too much and get everything wet
me: how about a pet orangutan?
G: no that would throw poop everywhere.
We’re running out of options here
“Butterfly to the rescue!”
The parenting books didn’t warn me about this
G: Why wont you make another baby so I can have a sister?
Me: my body has too much trouble making babies
G: you just need to practice more
G just informed us that the guards at her office called and they really need her to come in to work right now.
most creative attempt at getting out of bedtime yet
“Mommy, how do you spell body parts?”
– she was searching for something to watch on Netflix
“ok, mama, I’ll be good, but just to make you happy”
Me: tell you what, I will let you watch one tv show before you go have some quiet play time in your room
G: if you can decide to let me watch one show, you can decide to let me watch two
G, deadpan, to me: were you there when the Earth was still flat?
G: You’re not my real mom!
Me: Is that so? Who is?
G informed me that last night she had the best dream ever. she dreamed that she was Snow White. I asked her if she cooked and cleaned for the dwarves, and she said yes. I asked her if she was going to clean up her mess in the living room… “Mom! It was just a dream!”
Just trying to make her dreams come true
“I’m serious, Mom. I’m as serious as a first grader.”
“my little tooth is so excited to get out of my mouth”
My little chef
G, at dinner: have you made this before?
G: and you made it again anyway?
G: I want to make Daddy a cherry pie for his birthday
Me: I just bought ingredients for coconut cream pie, because it’s his favorite
G: I think Daddy wants cherry
Me: did you ask him
G: Daddy, do you want a surprise?
G: Mommy I’m going to watch over you forever
ME: that’s sweet
G: I’m going to watch to make sure you never make this food again
G: I’m so hungry I don’t care what you give me – except if you give me something I don’t like.
G, to me: When I grow up and have a restaurant, you can be one of my chefs
Me: what about Daddy?
G: he can clean and eat
G: when I grow up and have a restaurant it will have a special room with comfy chairs for sick people, and I will give them special tea to make them feel better, and daddy will play guitar.
G: “I don’t even know who St. Patrick is. Why does he get to pick what color I wear?”
nothing bashful about the pink she’s wearing today
G, to Aaron: too bad you don’t have my glorious hair
Ready for Kindergarten
G: Every time I look outside, it’s still dark out
Me: Because it’s still night time
G: But how will I know when to wake up for school? I don’t think morning will ever come
I can’t wait to see what she comes up with next year.