I get so tired of New Age Gurus and other “Experts” telling me I have to focus on the present. My memories are a great source of joy; they also contain the lessons I’ve learned that make me who I am today. The future is my goal, it’s why I endure today.
Because, let’s face it: sometimes NOW sucks. Sometimes it’s downright unbearable.
If I focused only on the present, I wouldn’t endure the hives that come with exercise. If now was all that mattered, I’d eat chocolate all day. I wouldn’t be taking classes required for graduation in subjects that don’t interest me. I wouldn’t have the goal of graduating. I’d never take the potential hangover into consideration when opening, or finishing, a bottle of wine. I’d spend my rent money on airfare to Hawaii, or France, or Greece.
If I lived only for the moment, I wouldn’t have gone through chemotherapy.
If I lived my life in the now, I likely wouldn’t have a family. My marriage started with the idea of the two of us spending the rest of our lives together. You have to look ahead to make those kinds of dreams. I would also be repeating the same mistakes over and over, because learning from those mistakes requires looking back.
I realize that there may be a time at the end of life when now is all I have. I’ll take that when I get there. Until then, I will continue to enjoy my memories, and reach for my goals.
I’m not opposed to embracing the moment. I’ve written about how my daughter gave me the gift of now. It’s important to live in the present, but it has it’s time and place. We need a balance. Each moment of our lives must be informed by our past, and driven by our dreams and goals for the future. Otherwise we’re just stagnant hedonists, and that’s just pathetic.
Beautifully written! I find I focus on the now when it comes to my son, because he changes so much each day. However, with most other things, I apply what I’ve learned in the past to what I’m doing NOW and I make decisions NOW based on the future.
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Judy Schwartz Haley Reply:
March 20th, 2011 at 12:36 am
Oh yes, I do focus on the moment with my daughter, too. I just sit and look and marvel at her. Kids are so amazing.
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Wonderful post! So insightful, so true.
Little Man A Josh Update
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Judy Schwartz Haley Reply:
March 20th, 2011 at 8:39 pm
thanks Jessica, although I am, right now, embracing the moment with a pan of brownies.
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This was deeply honest and enduring. You brought up a good point. I agree with balance. It appears to be healthier. Wouldn’t it be sad if someone “only” lived I’m the past, or future or only the now? My daddy only lives in the past and it’s heartbreaking. Good post!
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Judy Schwartz Haley Reply:
March 22nd, 2011 at 10:19 pm
yeah, it’s really all about balance. focusing on any one time perspective is limiting, they all have their place.
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I really love this post–what a very good perspective you have. It sounds like you have the right attitude–to take in what is real in this moment, and still keep your eye on the future–knowing that choices you make in the now will effect that future. We are the architects of our own fate so to speak. I’m not saying we have control over every aspect of what’s to come, but just that we can do what we can to prepare ourselves as best we can for tomorrow, while appreciating all that we can today. Looking forward, while still grounded. Balance!
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Judy Schwartz Haley Reply:
March 22nd, 2011 at 10:20 pm
“Looking forward, while still grounded.” I love that! sums it up perfectly.
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