500

500

This is my 500th post in this blog. Who knew I had that much to say?

Still I sit here thinking about writing another post and I’m torn; I have so much to say, too much actually.

I wonder about over-sharing, about letting my battle with cancer consume my blog the way it has consumed my life.

I wonder about how this blog will change over the coming year.

I miss the frivolous, light-hearted posts I used to write; my monthly letters to my daughter have taken on a new significance in the past couple months.500 blog posts

I’ve been reading over some of my favorite posts, and in honor of my 500 posts, I thought I’d share a few of them here

20 Year High School Class Reunion
Contemplating my high school class reunion and how connecting with my old classmates on Facebook changed my attitude towards attending.

Pregnancy 101: How to Roll Over
Sometimes a pregnant woman in bed feels (and looks) like a beached whale.  Sometimes she needs to roll over.  Sometimes the results are disastrous.

I feel pretty
Self image is such a complicated issue for young women.  I contemplate what makes me feel pretty, and how to help my daughter negotiate these issues as she grows up.

Influence
Do you pick up an accent when you visit the South? Is your mood affected by anyone else’s mood?  What influences you? What influences you on a subconscious level? How do we teach our children to manage their influnces?

Pregnancy
Pregnancy isn’t all bloating, and waddling, and strange cravings.  Pregnancy can make you feel Amazing.

Dear Baby Girl
A note to my daughter, written before she was born.

The Sweetest Gift
The sweetest Christmas gift I have ever received.

A Blessing
A stranger appears, blesses us, and vanishes.  One of the coolest moments of my life.

What Fuels Your Vote?
Whenever you take sides on a political issue, how do you come to your decision? Once the decision is made, do you have peace in your heart, or fear?

One Year Later
My father taught us a lot about living, the most powerful lesson came to me at his funeral.

Patience
Sometimes getting the perfect shot can be frustrating and take quite a bit of patience.

What I Didn’t Know
Finding out I was going to be a mommy.

Five Things I Learned from My Dad
Dad had a lot to teach.  I was too thick headed to appreciate all his lessons, but some of them really stuck with me.

On Being Content
A change in attitude can change your life.

Dear Gem – Month 13

Dear Gem – Month 13

Today is Mother’s Day (or at least it was when I started writing this letter), the perfect day for me to tell you how much I love being your Mother.

I got the best Mother’s Day gift ever on Friday; after a month of not being able to lift or carry you because of the surgery, the doctor finally gave me permission to start using my arm, which means I can take care of you all by myself again. It is so nice to finally be able to hold you, and take care of you by myself!

But we did find ways to snuggle this past month. I spent a lot of time sitting on the floor so you could come up and hug me whenever you wanted. It amazes me how you seemed to instinctively understand that you needed to be gentle with me. You are so perceptive, and very, very sweet. You even say “awwwww…” and pat my shoulder as you hug me. It’s the cutest thing.

Several friends came and helped around the house. and helped me keep an eye on you each day while Daddy was at school. I’m so thankful for their help. You enjoyed the company (audience), and it eased my mind to know that they were available to lift you to the high chair, or changing table, or into your crib – and to get you out of trouble as well – you have entered a climbing phase. At least I hope it’s a phase, but I suspect you are just going to become progressively more adventurous. And truthfully, that’s one of the things I love most about you – your sense of adventure – even when you give me a little heart attack while you’re perched on the edge of a piece of furniture.

gem

One of your favorite words is “THIS.” You walk around the house, or even stores when we go out, and hold up random objects proclaiming, proudly and emphatically, “THIS!” After a few weeks of “this,” I nearly fell out of my chair laughing, but proud, when you pointed at something and said “THAT!”

gem

Most of the time when I look at you I see a beautiful little girl, but every once in a while, I see the baby you used to be. The way you hold your feet in the air while you’re laying on your back, or the way you cuddle with me both can take me back to several months ago. I miss that baby, but I am so proud of the little girl that you are becoming. You are so smart, you have an amazing attention span, you are perceptive, and gentle, and sweet, and loving, and friendly. These are all qualities that will serve you well as you get older. I can’t wait to watch you as you develop from a little girl into a young woman. But for today, it’s those snuggles that I enjoy the most.

I love you so much.

Mommy

 

Read more Letters to Gem.

Beautiful People

“The most beautiful people we have known are those who have known defeat, known suffering, known struggle, known loss, and have found their way out of the depths. These persons have an appreciation, a sensitivity, and an understanding of life that fills them with compassion, gentleness, and a deep loving concern. Beautiful people do not just happen.”
-Elizabeth Kubler-Ross

Interesting how the same experiences can lead someone to become bitter or beautiful. I hope I make choices that lead towards the latter